Hi, I am really struggling to come to terms with this. I am waiting for mastectomy op and don’t know yet what treatment will follow. Going back for more tests on other breast tomorrow and now petrified it’s in there too. I am trying to carry on with normal life as I feel perfectly fine but I just feel so sad. I feel robbed of my everyday life. everything will change, I will be off work, what I wear and how I look and feel about myself will be different especially if I have chemo. Our plans for the future are all up in the air now and I worry so much about how this will affect my sons and husband. We have worked so hard to be where we are and finally had plans to ease off and have some time for us as a couple and now this!
It’s so hard to enjoy anything and I feel as though I am wasting what is left of myself old life before I have to deal with the future.
Sorry for self indulgent rant but this is just so bl**dy difficult.
Hi Claire,
Unfortunaly I don’t have any advice but just wanted you to know your are not alone feeling like this! I’m exactly the same!!
I’m 34 with 2 young sons, engaged and ment to be getting married next august and have also booked a family honeymoon.
But like you said that is all up in the air now, I also feel sad about how things will and already have changed, and also how we will cope as a family.
I miss my old life and I’m scared for the future and your right it is so bl**dy difficult!
Sending hugs
Sarah
Hi. You are not alone. I feel exactly like you. I had a hysterectomy in July and was just getting back to normal when i was diagnosed with BC i am having a masectomy and sentinel node biopsy and breast reduction other side this Thursday. Dont know what treatment plan will follow. Just want to be better and enjoy life. Xx
Ladies I can totally relate to your feelings, your world turns on its head and all the plans you have made even just for the next day, all the things you just completely take for granted seem pointless, we started the year so full of excitement as our eldest son was getting married in sept and suddenly here was I thinking am I even going to be here? I was so bloody angry that this would dare to happen to me and even angrier at everyone else going about their lives and enjoying themselves while we were in hell!
But no amount of wishing was going to make it go away so you plod on and it kind of becomes something you just deal with rather than be so scared of, these early weeks when you don’t know exactly what’s happening are the worst and I can’t tell you you suddenly feel better overnight , it’s a gradual thing but you do find yourself fretting a little less and sleeping a little better ( Thank god for Gin and Wine!! )
i finshed treatment in June and have since been on two holiday abroad and more importantly was very much here for my sons wedding last month! ?
I sound like a broken record as I say this to everyone but just try and deal with one stage at a time, the bigger picture is too much to process , things will become clearer and you will find your fight , your lives aren’t ruined they will just be a little different for a while. My brother said to me at the time just deal with today, wake up and think I’m ok , I’m still here and don’t allow yourself to worry about tomorrow until it’s here, and of course as tomorrow never comes he certainly had a point!
Sorry for for the long post but I could talk for England me!! ? xx Jo
Claire, to be blunt, it really is **bleep** what is happening to us. I think the not knowing what’s next is the worst, and unfortunately your plan has been delayed again as you’ve got to have more tests. I know it’s no comfort, but none of us are where we thought we would be and it feels as if we are in limbo, but you are not alone. You have your husband and sons to support you and you have us as well to talk to. It’s quite likely that I will be having a mastectomy and I already know that I’ll be having chemo. Maybe we’ll be having some of our treatment at the same time. My husband and I had miscarriages last year and in February we were going to try again, however that won’t happen now. We just have to make different plans now and find positives wherever we can. Sissy xx
My advice is listen to Jo. She speaks good sense (not just this post but many others of her’s that I have read).
Totally understand where you are coming from. This time eight weeks ago I was in a similar position with having additional unexpected mammograms and scans and not knowing what my treatment plan would be. It was one of the most horrible times of my life. But one mastectomy and reconstruction later and my first chemo done I can’t believe how the last two months have flown and once you are on the treatment path it does get easier as everyone says. I’m sure I have some rubbish days to come but I am starting to see life after all this even if it is still a few months away.
Hang on in there and good luck with the week to come. xx
Bless you Claire. Speaking from a husbands perspective. You definitely aren’t alone in how you’re feeling, not that it changes the situation. It’s definitely not unusual to have your down days or just moments where you either shed tears alone or together. x
Hi Claire hope everything is ok with your tests today. I totally know there you are, I’m in the same place, so many what ifs, I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I do agree with Jo tho and I’m trying to look at it one step at time as trying to cope with the enormity of the whole thing is hard. So I have my mastectomy Wednesday, I’m scared but I know it’s necessary. Big hugs to all the ladies (and gents)on here who show such support to each other xxxx
Hi, I got diagnosed on the 30th September and was so comforted when I read your post as I have the same feelings and worries. I have had my op last Thursday and recovering and hoping to go to work tomorrow just for a while so I can have normality. But I just feel so sad too, and I won’t let my thoughts wander to what ifs but just feel down in the dumps. It was nice to see I’m not the only one with these feelings.
Sorry I have no answers as new to all this but I took comfort in knowing I’m normal to feel the way I do.
Everything crossed for tomorrow. I have a 20 old too and it’s a lot to cope with on any day never mind a birthday. One thing I do know is my mum had a mastectomy when I was younger and it made me a more empathetic adult! All the best for tomorrow X Cara
Hi all,
well done on finding this site so soon and seeking support and help. Best wishes for each of your tailored plans, may they run smoothly.
I found an amazing booklet by Cordelia Galcut, Emotional Support through Breast Cancer, the alternative handbook. A psychlogist and a lady diagnosed wuth Breast Cancer… i found this little book mighty helpful.
As is this site for all the advice.
I am 18 months down the line, if you dont want to filter the info, find a great friend willing to search on your behalf.
Be kind & gentle to yourself.
If others offer help, take it, but maybe be specific, ask for a meal (my neighbours just used to deliver to my door some soup or tasty foods ). When i was so fatigued this was so welcome.
Another book i found useful was.What Can I do to Help? 75 practical ways for friends & family to help, Deborah Hutton. I bought this as a friend of mine faced caring for her husband who had a tragically short illness. Gentle.tips such as adding “no need to reply” at the end of messages.