Hello I am a 35 year old mum with 2 small children, 3 years and 9 months. I was diagnosed with an invasive cancer which was 2cm in size and an other area of DCIS on 11th July. Since then my husband and I have imagined all sorts of things but my breast care nurse has been supportive and allied our fears. I had a right mastectomy on the 24th july. Tomorrow I get my results as to whether the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes. I am desperate to talk to other mothers of young children to share support in helping the children through this difficult time. At the moment I am very frustrated at not being able to care for my baby and having to allow others to do it. I’m frightened it will effect my bond with my baby! Probably very silly as my mum says he knows who his mum is. How did other people cope?
Hi
I too am 35 with 2 kids but a little older than yours.
I have a 10 and a 7 year old, and telling them was very hard, but like always, kids bounce back!!
One of my biggest issues was that I didn’t feel that I was there to look after them, as it is usually always me that picks them up from school, drives them to footie/gymnastics etc…
My daughter wrote a piece about me at school saying that I spend a lot of time in bed as I have a poorly arm!!!
(I think that was from me telling them to be careful around my arm, from the sensation after having lymph nodes taken).Its a good job the teachers knew what was going on.
You will get through this and your kids will give you strength as they seem to carry on as if nothings happened.
I am now at the stage where I am back to pretty much normal, so am able to do these things again.
Take care
Angie
xx
Hi Chris
My children are 3yrs and 6 months. Was diagnosed in March and have just finished chemo with surgery (mastectomy) to come on Aug 14th. The amount that I have cared for the kids has decreased as time has gone on with the chemo and it will be almost zero when I have the mastectomy for a while (you know more about the surgery stage than me). Perhaps this has been easier as I have been weaned off them rather than the huge operation/hospitalisation 1st. On the other hand there is no easy way to let others take over the care of your baby. But she is still mine and I have found the time I spend with her to be more “quality” than anything else. My OH washes bottles and makes tea while I play with the baby and 3 year old, he carries her upstairs and sets me up with her in my arms so I can give her her bottle before bed. She loves been talked to more than anything else so I sopend hrs twittering away to her, much more so than I did with my son. I move out of the way for nappy changes and cant carry the car seat but try to feed her asnd always have a smile. I do miss bathing her and we have never been in the swimming pool yet. Really miss swimming with my 3yr old. But try to be there to dry him after OH has taken him and we always share a treat after from the sweetie machine. Its tough but little things make a huge difference.
I worry that my memories of the babies 1st year which should be so happy will be tainted, but am already beginning to see that the good times shine through.
Godd luck with your results - let us know how you get on
Jane
Thank you both for your responses. We saw the consultant yesterday who gave us the good news that it wasn’t in the lymph glands. The cancer and a larger than expected area of DCIS had all been removed. I am now to be ‘belted and braced’ with chemotherapy. We are waiting to see the oncologist. When that is all over I can have it reconstructed. We are also going to have genetic investigations. The children appear happy at the moment, they are used to spending time with my mum and I always put them to bed at night. It’s my daughters 3rd birthday next week so i have decided to have a very informal bring your own picnic in the local wildlife park.
The mastectomy is uncomfortable rather than painful. Moving the arm is the worst but they give you exercises to help maitain a good range of movement.
Best of luck for the 14th Jane I will be thinking of you!
Christine
Hi Christine
So glad to hear your news. Sorry not to have read your post sooner but we were visiting firends etc. and for a few times actually felt like life was normal again.
Children are so resiliant and such good value - I had my hair taken down half an inch by my OH the other day, so now have bald top, long fringe and shaved sides. My 3 yr old saw me in the morning and declared “your hair is lovely mummy”. What more could you ask for.
Saw the consultant today and its all go for 14th.
How is your matectomy recovery going ? what kind of things can you lift etc. When does the chemotherapy start ?
Hope you had a good party
Take care
Jane
HI IM HAVING A MASTECTOMY ON FRIDAY ALREADY HAD NYMPH GLANDS REMOVED AND LUMPS AND TISUE TAKEN FROM MY BREAST CANT BELEIVE MORE SURGERY FED UP ALREDY AND MY CHEMO HASNT EVEN STARTED .36 YEARS HAVE FOURS GIRLS AND AM COMPLETELY DRAINED. HAS ANYONE HAD A MASTECTOMY AND HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU FIRST SAW IT. IVE BEEN TOLD I WILL HAVE A COMFY FIRST THEN THE GEL FITTED WHAT IS A COMFY I FORGOT TO ASK . WOULD SOMEONE LIGHTEN ME ON ALL THIS PLEASE SO I WILL HAVE A GENERAL IDEA ON FRIDAY
THANKS TRACEY