Hobo, I have just read your thread for the first time today and already you sound so much better. It is a very difficult time both physically and emotionally but this is the place to pour your heart our because we know just how you feel.
I had an LD flap done with reconstruction a long time ago and reading everyone’s comments made me realise just what a journey ( don’t like that phrase much) it has been.
I had my LD flap done 23 years ago and it is still looking good…It is probably older than many of the young women on here! But it still looks and feels good and I feel like myself again. There were no forums way back then and I felt so alone. I was 39. But just to say I wish you all the best and to ask you to try to take one day at a time. Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Val
I have managed to look again today, i got a bath but with my top on, i dont dare not to just yet. im back at the hospital tomorrow to find out all my results hopefully, i feel like im walking a bit faster and i have also got a 20min phsyio appoint tomorrow. im starting to see light at the end of the tunnel now. our next hrdle is to have IVF drugs in over a week so can attempt to freeze some embryos. me and my OH were two weeks away from having IVF anyway before diagnosed. A double blow. I feel like i can face alot more now 
thank you RevCat for the link xx
Well done Hobo, just take it at your own pace and do what works for you - there is no ‘right’ way to face this, if you feel the need to keep a top on in the bath that’s completely fine. I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and in the coming days as you begin the IVF process… hopefully it will be successful for you and you’ll get some good embryos to freeze.
You are doing well hobo!! It seems you have been through an awful lot so it is wonderful to read that you can see light at the end of the tunnel.
Good luck tomorrow. I hope all goes well.
V xx
Hi hobo
I just wanted to say that I relate a lot to what you have posted as I have been through similar things. I am also 32, and my mother passed away a few years ago. I had a mastectomy with implant based reconstruction and also felt quite alone and left to myself in the hospital. I found it hard to look at myself and would feel sick when I showered, but it got much better with time. After surgery, my boyfriend and I went through fertility treatment to freeze some embryos and I have now started chemo. Everything seems to move so fast but if you take things one step at a time it becomes manageable. Wishing you all the best, Lacuna.
Hi
I was 36 and had a double mascetomy, through choice, and the double reconstruction. I would strongly advise them both done and then reconstruction will look even! The worst thing I felt was the shock. I am nearly 3.5 yrs on and I still have a wobble, but when you are young cancer is so off of your radar, it takes time to come to terms with. The pain does go, but if offered fat transferel DONT go for it the pain was worse than double mascetomy - NO JOKE!!! Am now quite happy with new boobs, but they can take several months to look normal, because of swelling and scaring etc.