Hi guys, just home from hospital yesterday. Tumuor removed and 1 lymph node out. 1.3cm lump, not responding to hormone treatment so chemo starts in 3 weeks. Im 48 and have only posted twice on site. There is a lot to take in at first, but im obsessing over losing my hair already. If one more specialist tells me its better to save your life than your hair I think I will scream. I know it is, but it is still a hard thing to deal with, and I dont think, unless you have been told you are going to lose your body hair that you really truly know what that feels like as a woman. Am I being ungrateful or does anyone else feel the same re. the “specialists”.

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to the club none of us want to be in. Specialists are just trying to help, but sometimes they are human - like us really and say or do the wrong thing. I am due to start chemo as well shortly after mastectomy and reconstruction a few weeks back and it is scary - but from what i have read on here (and thats a lot) for most people it is nowhere near as bad as you think. I have been scraping my hair back off my face and imagining myself with no eyebrows and frankly the picture I am getting is half Grant Mitchell and half Harry Hill - not pretty whatever way you look at it, but it does make me giggle nonetheless. I have ordered scarves, should get my wig fitted soon and am planning on overdoing the eye make up to compensate. I may also wear outrageous shoes so no-one notices I am bald! I may also turn all the mirrors round in the house so I dont have to look at myself, and make my children and hubby wear blindfolds too!!

So no you are not being ungrateful - just adjusting to a chapter of your life you most likely hadn’t planned on and dont want, just remember it is just that - a chapter, not your whole life :slight_smile:


Hi Kelly - I think on a practical level they are right, it is “better to lose your hair” - naturally. However, losing hair is such a raw visible sign of cancer and none of us want that. It’s also the worry of growing it all back, espcially if you don’t suit short hair like me! It took me years to grow mine shoulder length.

I too was really bothered about losing my hair, and I dont like it. I tried the cold cap, it didn’t work for me but i know a lot it did work for.

I think the “Cutters” as my BCN calls them, are very practical people who don’t always have the sensitivity, that’s why having a BCN is great as they get it, they see it all the time and are a great resource.

None of us want to be here, none of us want to make horrible choices and its sh*t, we’re all dealing with it as best as we can but havce to learn not to beat ourselves up for our feelings, this is CANCER, it’s one of the worse things you can get. Feel away and b*llocks to anyone telling you how you should or shouldn’t feel about it and the side effects, it does you good to get it out.

Take Care xxx


for KellyM to find :slight_smile: