I was dx in jan.04, grade 3, 12mm tumour, no nodes or vascular invasion, had WLE, chemo’, rads’ and now Tamoxifen.
I have suffered with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember and consequently my dx set it off again…however, somehow I managed to get through treatment.
I returned to work in nov., 04…I work as a nursery nurse with 0 -2 age goup…I returned part-time…3 days a week…since then I have changed hours/days and increased them…I have noticed that I was beginning to get a few tightenings in my upper arm on effected side…mentioned it to BCN who has sent me leaflets for exercises and basic lymphatic massage, she also felt I had been lifting too much at work…I umm’d and ahh’d and finally requested I go back to my 3 days a week…which hopefully I will be able to do.
I felt a bit pathetic as I know there are many people who return to work full-time and just get on with it…however I also realise the whole thing is down to personal choice and job type too.
I still suffer from depression and anxiety and take medication for it.
Has anyone else this far on from dx had a sudden repriorotise of life?..I had the same at beginning of dx…but have sort of ambled on…but all of a sudden I’m thinking…hang on I want some ''me time ‘’…
Sorry a bit of a jumbled post but just the way I’m feeling.
hi
I know exactly how you feel i got dx july 05 never felt so low in all my life. I dont feel in control anymore . Cant put my finger on it my head is really screwed up at the moment wondering wether i should make a trip to docs. Fear i think is in my mind aswell and also the shear painic of what we have all been through. I am not working and cant find a job it feels as soon as you have done the medical history bit no one wants to know. so i am stuck in a rut on my own all day feeling very sorry for myself at the mo when i shouldnt because there are alot of people out there worse of than me. x
firstly, I think we all make the mistake of comparing ourselves to everyone else. This is so unhelpful and just makes us think we are useless, lazy etc etc. We are all unique - our domestic situations, our jobs, how we have responded to having breast cancer both physically and psychologically are all so different. One person might be fine returning to work full time whereas another would find even a few days too much. Like you say, we drift back to our old lives when treatment is finished and sometimes its too much. I have just returned to work after five months and am off sick again this time with an excruciating bad neck, brought about by rushing around. Having had breast cancer, I sure as hell am not going to risk my health by working too much and dont care if others can do it, I cant. So I am cutting back my hours and stuff the consequences.
If you are suffering from anxiety and depression, then you are not as “fit” as some others as this is a horrible illness in its own right. You need to do what you feel is right otherwise if you push yourself too hard, you will just grind to a halt and not be able to do anything.
Hi there,
I work with young children and can really simpathise - they are great but exhausting. Also you tend to pick up every bug going. I was offered extra hours for next term but looking around at colleagues at the end of term (who look totally knackered) decided to say ‘no’. Don’t beat yourself up about it do what feels right.
cheers
caroline
hi karen ,read your post with interest ,im not back to work yet was diognosed in 2006 but now have lymphodemia in arm thats a real pain !! but now i feel like i want to do more ,im going to be studying in sept to be a bereavement coun cellor .i think ive had a bit of experience there dont you ! what with all the sadness recently .so yes reevaulate your life on your terms if you need to take a step back then do so .life is too short really isnt it .wishing you well .lynn x
Hi Karen
I am interested in the replies to your post as i feel exactely the same.
I know we have discussed childcare as a job and the difficulties it poses.
Since hurting my shoulder a few months back after working in a very demanding heavy baby room my confidence has gone.
Sometimes i just can’t answer the phone when the agency ring as i am terrified of working and hurting myself again.Then i feel i am being lazy.
Personally i feel there should be more opportunities out there for people who have had a serious illness to retrain if their job is too much for them. I have been doing courses which are a life saver but they can work out expensive. Also the government are cutting back on funding and putting it into the 16-19 yr olds courses.
I do feel panicky just now as hubby due to retire early although he will do agency work and still have an income and freeze his pension, but we wont have as much money. I then feel useless not earning. Childcare pay is apallingly low which doesnt help does it.
Interested in the bereavement counselling aroma. I did a level 1 counselling course before DX but to pursue it is very expensive and someone was telling me they are moving the goal posts again and making it more difficult to practise once qualified.
I know by law they shouldnt discriminate when we apply for jobs but i definately think they do.
Shame you dont live nearer K we could chat for England about this, but i am not very cheery or full of ideas sad to say. Hopefully more people will post and be more positive.
cathy59…you are absoluately right we are all individual and our personal situations play a big part in things.
carolihne…you definetly made the right decision in not taking the extra hours.
aroma…best of luck with your studies in september.
liverbird…I know you’ve found it difficult going back to working with children too, it is very under paid and very demanding.
I have asked my employer if I could reduce my days back to 3…she said yes…but hasn’t come up with the new hours yet!!..and on monday a box of books fell on my foot which is now very bruised and swollen…oh such joys!!!