Just so scared..results next thursday

Hi all

 

I’ve just joined this site and have been sat here reading some other threads and realise that I am not about to say anything you sadly haven’t heard many times before.

I turned 50 last year so 2 weeks ago got invited in for a routine screening. A week later i had a letter back recalling me for further tests. I spoke to a nurse for more info and she said there were some slight differences in my right breast’ So yesterday I went back to the hospital where they took more mammograms of the area, then an ultrasound. The lady doing it said it looked worrying so then took a needle biopsy of two areas. I asked questions (in the hope shed say it was just a fatty lump or something not to worry about) but she was very honest and said she was sufficiently concerned that if the results came back as anything other than cancer, then she would feel she had undersampled me and that she would still want the area removed. I have spent the last 24 hours either in floods of tears or in this weird parallel universe where this isnt really happening. Everyone is telling me to wait and see and that it still might not be anything but the way she spoke, it is something to worry about. I did start to google all the types of cancer and grades etc but just stopped. I think I need to get my results first before I read anymore. Im probably being a bit dramatic but I cant help thinking that thats it. My youngest children are only 10 and 7 and the thought of not seeing them grow up breaks my heart. My 10 year old is autistic and cant watch a sad film without tears streaming down his face, screwing up his eyes and sticking his fingers in his ears so how on earth do I tell him if it is really bad news? I just feel so lost x

Hi Karen and welcome to the BCC forums

In addition to the support you will find here, our helpliners are on hand with practical and emotional support for you on 0808 800 6000 and lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays so please feel free to call to talk your concerns through

Take care
Lucy BCC

I know how you feel I had my mammogram ultrasound and biopsy lastcwedmesday after finding a lump. Results next week. The consultant at the end of it all said "remember we can cure cancer etc etc… I am convinced she was preparing me for bad news next week . I like you have 2 children and every time I look at them I well up … Will be thinking of you and hope you have good results

Hello Karen. I am going through exactly the same thing. I totally feel your worry. It’s agonising. I too am either crying or thinking way too much or wondering how I am going to cope with everything when I’m doing so badly as it is. I suffer from anxiety anyway and this waiting game is torture. Today I had a weird dizzy spell whilst walking down the stairs. I sat down really quickly and it passed but it scared the hell out of me. Because I’ve been having headaches - and I know deep down int he real world that they are because I am so scared - I’ve now conviced myself I also have a brain tumour as well as a breats tumour. I know I am being totally ridiculous but I can’t help it. I have my results next Thursday too. Maybe we can go through this together. It’s Valentine’s Day. We ought to be drinking champagne and getting merry… maybe we ought to do that anyway :slight_smile: xxx

thank you both for your replies x I also suffer from anxiety and am on anti depressants so goodness knows what all this is going to do for me! Ive actually felt much calmer over the last day although on occasions the smallest thing can suddenly set me off. I just want Thursday to come now so I can know for sure and get on with it. So many what ifs and questions going round in my head though. Its exhausting. Fingers crossed for all of us and will be thinking of you this week xx