I was diagnosed with breast cancer on 16th August and had a central sigmentectomy including the nipple on 1st September. I also had a sentinel biopsy at the same time.When I got my results the margins round the lump were clear but of the 4 lymph nodes removed it was found in the first one. I have to go back in next week on 12th October for an axillary lymph node dissection.
When first diagnosed although I was devastated I thought I could deal with this, however, nothing prepared me for how gutted I was that I would need another operation, chemo and radiotherapy. It has gradually got worse and now I can’t sleep properly or eat, I feel totally sick all the time and keep crying. I am so scared of what this all means and just want my life back. Its all the waiting and not knowing thats doing my head in and don’t know whether to go to my doctor and ask for sleeping pills or not - I have never needed them before but then I have never felt so terrified before. I always thought I was quite a strong person but now feel a total wimp.
Sorry to go on so much - does anyone feel the same?
Hi Lindsay,
Welcome to the Breast Cancer Care discussion forums where I am sure you will get lots of support from the many informed users of this site.
After reading your post could I suggest that you give the helpline here a ring and have a chat with one of the nurses as they’re here to support you through this, calls are free and the lines are open now until 5pm today (Mon-Fri 9-5 and Sat 9-2) 0808 800 6000. Also I have put for you below the link to one of BCC’s publications which you may find useful, or resource pack which is full of information and how to get extra support. Take care and I hope some of this helps.
Jo, Facilitator
Hi Lindsay
I also had to go back for more surgery 2 weeks ago as I had an affected node. Pleased to say rest of mine were clear and it sounds like yours should be too if only one of four had some in it. The node clearance is ok and does not hurt anymore than the snb just makes ur armpit numb and funny tingly feeling down arm! I was back walking my dogs (with accompanying drain which was funny) within 4 days and have just been for a weekend away walking miles, paddling in the sea and having fun.
Please don’t be so scared…I was very very scared and it is such an awful time…but its not so bad and its getting rid of the blasted c cells so its a positive thing…chin up girl xx
Hi thanks for your reply and glad to hear everything went well for you. I will just be glad to get this next op out of the way, I’m not the best patient! Do you have to have further treatment?
Hi Lindsay
Sorry you have to go back for another op. I too had one node affected out of three from the snb so they did a clearance and there were no more.I recovered from this quite quickly and they used the same scar as the snb. I think the feeling sick and crying are part of the process for a while. Hopefully there will come a time soon when you will know all the results and your treatment plan will become clear. At that point it is clear how your team are going to help you fight this. It is much easier mentally then. Now you are still in shock. I remember feeling that lying in bed was the only place I felt safe and hid from the world for a while, but then life crept back in again and I moved on. I hope you feel beter soon and your operation goes well. Dx
LOL…I am not the best patient either! I will be having FEC-T chemo starting in 2 weeks time followed by Radiotherapy, Herceptin and tamoxifen…but its doable as my daughter is doing it and looks great so bring it on and get it over with is i think, the best attitude…just think lots of staying in by the fire over the winter and done and dusted by the time summer comes!
I too start my chemo tomorrow,FEC 6 cycles over 18 weeks, followed by rad for 3weeks, trying to keep positive,just want it all over with,should finish all treatment by april ,hope you get on well, keep your chin up,Daisycat
YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN,I start chemo tomorrow followed by rads, like you trying to be strong I have only cried once,over a changed appointment,it it just threw me into a compleat panic !!I know it was stupid but Ijust felt Icould’ntcope eny more alright now Ithink having a good cry did me good.hpoe every thing goes well for you I am new to all this posting on forums so hope
Thank you both for your comments and support - keep in touch and let me know how it goes with with your treatment x
Hi Lindsay,
I am exactly the same as you. I had my first operation 2 weeks ago and have got to go back for an axillary clearance tomorrow, followed by chemo & radiotherapy.
Your post could have been written by me as I too feel terrified and don’t think i have ever cried as much.I am beginning to feel a bit more together about it all but it is really hard.
Lets hope we can battle through this together and support each other.
Julie
X
hi, its been nearly 2 years since my lumpectomy , chemo and radiotherapy finished and i just wanted to say to you all stay brave. Its the hardest thing in your life you will ever have to deal with. The only advice i can offer is take one day at a time , dont be frightened to speak to people about how your feeling and try not to put pressure on yourselves to still be super woman and try and do all the things you usually do. Listen to your body , if you want to cry then do , if your exhausted then rest, housework can wait . I found during chemo because i pushed myself to do everything i usually did people expected still so much from me. If id been honest and said actually im not feeling great it would made it a bit easier . Im glad your all getting support from bcc and wish you all the best of luck , luv gotthet-shirt x
Hi Julie - Good luck with your operation today, hope everything goes well and let me know how you get on. Its so much better to speak to people going through this at the same time as me and I really appreciate everyone’s support. xx
Hi, thanks for your comment gottheT-shirt. Having a low afternoon, having tried to do a bit of housework/washing today. Started chemo on Monday and yes, think it was too soon to get into the house stuff. Have felt shaky all afternoon and very tearful, after such a good start to the day! It was just so nice to feel normal after a few days of feeling very sick! We should be nicer to ourselves!
Hope the operation went well today Julie and good luck for yours next week Lindsaym. Daisycat hope you’re not feeling too bad after starting your chemo. I had nausea and vomiting for two days, but it’s much better now. At least we can tick one off!! 5 more to go!
Thinking of you all, Karen xx
Hi Everyone
Had my op last Tuesday and came home on Thursday - arm has been very sore over the weekend and is a bit swollen, breast nurse due to ring tomorrow to arrange to have dresings removed so will speak to her then. Then its the wait for my results which will probably be next week! Just wish I didn’t feel so tired but making myself go for a short walk each day for some fresh air and a change of scenery.
How is everyone doing - is the chemo going ok Karen and have you started yet lost in france?
Hope your results were ok Julie, let me know.
Hi,
Got my results last week. Only one of the lymph nodes was positive which is good news, but still have to have chemo which is what I am dreading the most!
Glad to hear your operation went well Lindsay and let me know how you get on with your results this week.
It is my daughters 21st this week so I was really glad when the consultant gave me the all clear to drive so that I can go to see her at uni on Friday. It will be good to see her before my chemo starts next week.
Hope everyone else is getting on ok.
Julie
X
Hi Julie - Thanks for your reply. I’m the same as you dreading chemo which they warned me last time I would need but don’t know when I will start. Stay in touch and let me know how it goes with you but in the meantime have a lovely time at the weekend with your daughter and enjoy her 21st x
Hi Lindysam
4 weeks from surgery and feeling fab just a little stiff and numb but keep walking my dogs miles and its doing it a lot of good…start the chemo tomorrow and am going into it with positive thoughts and lots of water fresh air and exercise!! your sore arm will get better I promise…keep strong
Hi Lostinfrance
Good luck with your first chemo tomorrow.
Julie
X
Hi Lost in France
Good luck with your chemo today - hope it goes ok and let us know how you get on.
How are you getting on daisycat and blueyegirl?
Lindsay x
Hello
Well had first FEC treatment yesterday and got the wonderful Emend as well as a whole host of other stuff to take. Very slight nausea by 9pm but nothing terrible. Didn’t sleep well…think that was the steroids! Walked dogs 3 miles in the sunshine this morning and popped into work to check how things were going (I run a business!)Now chilling and feeling odd but ok…so hope it all stays this way. Verdict…not half as bad as I thought it would be!