I had a boil under my breast a couple of months ago and a throbbing at the side of my right breast which felt like a thumb pushing in, then my breast starting aching and throbbing and like sharp needles being pushed in lasting only a couple of seconds. I put this down to a possible infection from the boil. But the top half of my breast felt very hard like a mass lump, I read it could be hormonal due to menopause, although periods stopped 4 years ago. I started taking evening primrose oil, but the mass lump didn’t go away, I used frozen peas, eased the ache in my breast, and Ibropufen took the pain away, but lump still there, although the pain has subsided during the last couple of weeks. I decided to go to my doctor to get it checked out, he referred me to the Breast Clinic at the local hospital, I had a mammogram, and then ultrasound scan, which picked up a lump under my breast, which they did a needle biopsy on. The radiographer said it was about 4cm in size. Went back in to see the consultant who said it wasn’t good news, there is a lump, he said it’s all round the back of my breast, the picture on his notepad looked like petals all around my nipple, he said to make sure I take somebody with me on Thursday for the results of the biopsy. My legs turned to jelly, I wanted to run out of the hospital, have been a complete emotional wreck since last Thursday, I am terrified. I have been signed off work as I keep breaking down and crying. How could my boob become so hard and lumpy in just 2 months!!! My boob has come out in big bruises and is very tender. I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with the inevitable ‘bad news’ on Thursday, feeling like my life as I know it is over…I am crying as I write this :o(
Hi
I’m so sorry that you are in such a rotten place at the moment. The constant worry is just awful. You tell people and they are very concerned and lovely but then they can walk away from it, whereas you are stuck there without an opt out clause.
I’m not going to give you the glib line ‘it’ll be fine’ because that’s not known until Thursday but I CAN reassure that as of Thursday youll start to feel more in control and so a bit better. I was dx last November and have unfortunately had chemo, surgery and now radiotherapy. I can honestly say the the waiting part - where you are - was the worst. Once you get a treatment plan events take over and you feel happier because something positive is happening. Of course there’s the possibility that it won’t be the worst news but it’s this uncertainty that drives you mad.
On a practical sense you should be proud of yourself for acting on the changes you’ve found. Something is now being done and so youre already on the right road. Even if the news you get isn’t great there are so many different scenarios and treatments - it might not be as bad as you first feared.
I cried and cried when first diagnosed - I got some sleeping pills (only a few) and these helped to give me a reprieve from the constant turmoil of the mind. Now I’m fine. Not back to work yet (have decided I deserve some me-time once treatment is finished) but being all the things I was pre BC: mum, wife, daughter, friend. I’m going for walks, holidays, eating out - normal lovely stuff.
I promise it will get better. Hold on tight, you will get through it.
Oh Daysie,
first of all, a big gentle cyber hug, then a well done for being brave and getting this investigated.
You really are in the toughest place just now - the waiting is awful.
It is good advice from your consultant to take some with you, that’s what mine said to me, and I am glad I listened to him, because my friend took excellent notes and could hear the postives when all I could hear were negatives.
I expect right now you poor mind is imagining all sorts of awful horror stories - try not to dwell on them, as they will just make you feel worse. It sounds mad, but once you know the diagnosis and what the treatment plan is, it will actually get easier to deal with, and you will feel just a tiny bit more in control.
I hope you have people you can be with these next few days, and things to do that are enjoyable - coffee & cake? chocolate? retail therapy? You will know what works best for you.
You will get through this, and please come back and post your questions or concerns, there’s always someone hear ready to listen.
Only two rules…
- There is no such thing as a silly question
- avoid Google, stick to good sites like BCC, MacMIllan or Cancer research UK
Another hug…
Hi daisy
So sorry u fin urself in the awful waiting room, I remember tying myself in knots but it really does become easier and clearer when you know exactly what ur dealing with and have a treatment plan.
This site is amasing for info and support so keep posting. It helped me so much and still does. Everyone on here has either been there or is goin thru it and we will be with u every step of the way.
Its not easy but try not to let ur mind take u to crazy places and keep as busy/occupied as u can
Big (((hug)))
Clare x
Oh Daysie,
It is terribly frightening “waiting” your mind seems to go into overdrive imagining just everything. Everyone is so supportive on here and will guide you through any worries you may have regarding anything, however large or small that worry is. Take care, good luck on Thurs and lots of hugs xx
Hi Daysie
Sorry to find you on here but you will get lots of support from the ladies on this site. I was diagnosed just over a month ago and some days this site is my lifeline, it keeps me sane. As Clare says, once you know what you are dealing with ad get a treatment plan you will start to calm down. I fell to pieces at first but am a lot better now.
There are ladies on here at all stages of treatment who will be able to help you.
Take someone with you for support for the results, they will hear things better than you and be there for you.
In the meantime I send you all my best wishes. M
PS.DON’T GOOGLE!!!
Hi Dayse
I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself here. we all know how you feel at the moment. I echo everything that you’ve already been told by some of the women on this site, I think the stage you’re just at, waiting to be told,is one of the worst stages. It’s that feeling of loss of control, that your body has let you down, and everything probably feels a bit unreal at the moment.
The best thing of it is that you’ve been to see someone and the process has begun.
I was dx this July, I’ve had an mx and I’m waiting for chemotherapy and then radiotherapy after that. There have been times, especially at first , when this site helped me deal with what seemed like an enormous and impossible obstacle. And this will be hard to believe, but the whole process is not as horrific and terrifying as it first seems. Once it gets started.
It will be great if there’s someone you can take with you, and don’t be afraid to ask them anything you’d like to .
I wish you the best of luck and lots of good wishes,
Alison x
Hi Daysie
To add to what everyone else has said, it’s only natural to be frightened, there’s nothing more scary than the unknown. Once you start to get more information on what needs to be done, even if that is also scary, you will begin to calm down.
And don’t place too much significance on the bruising and tenderness in your breast - that could well be due to the biopsy. I was very bruised and lumpy and all the colours of the rainbow for days afterwards, which at first made me panic even more until I realised what it was.
Hi Daisie
Just to add a little to my post before, don’t worry too much, I know easier said than done but my breast was black and blue and several other shades plus very painful for days after my biopsy and being prodded by the doctor. I thought I would be gone by the end of the week!!!
Best wishes M
Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to answer my email, it really helps to be able to look at a forum like this and now I am only just beginning to understand what it’s like to face up to the fact that the pathway of life has many twists and turns. Reading your posts on here has given me a whole new perspective on the traumas and dilemmas that some people have to face…I will never worry about a bad day at work again!
I read my pack of cards this morning and pulled out six, 5 were black and one was red…amongst them was ‘doctor’ and ‘sickness’ and ‘journey’ how weird, I haven’t read them for many years!
I have been keeping myself busy making cakes, making sunday lunch, visiting friends, have exhausted myself, but don’t feel unwell, just in a bad place in my mind that I need to pull mnyself out of…
Thanks again - Daysie x
Hi everyone, it has been almost a week since I had my Fine Needle Biopsy and I go for my results tomorrow. I can feel the nervous tension building up in side me. I have been off work this week as my brain can’t seem to co-ordinate anything that people are saying to me, I am a complete shaking jelly, terrified of what lies ahead. I just know the results are going to be bad, as the consultant said “it’s bad news - you have a lump”. I also heard the radiologist say that my tissue seems dense. The lump is under my breast and I also have a huge thick lump above my breast. I was wondering what ‘thickening’ is anybody knows how it’s treated? My breast still aches and throbs and occasional shooting stabbing pains, which I also had before my Biopsy. I am dreading tomorrow and counting the hours, but at least I will know more about what’s going on inside my boob - my imagination it out of control!! I haven’t googled since I found this forum as this seems the place to find out everything about BC!
Hi Daisie
At least the waiting is nearly over. I can imagine you are very nervous but once you know what you are dealing with things will be clearer for you. Wish you best of luck for tomorrow, let us know how you get on and we will all be with you through this should you need us(((hug))) x