She has used an unfortunate turn of phrase, but I can understand where she is coming from and what she is trying to say. I lost my dad to health issues related to advanced vascular dementia 12 months prior to my own diagnosis of BC. I am not joking when I say that spending 2 years watching my dad losing his mental and cognitive function, along with the pain of witnessing him not knowing who any of his children were any longer was actually worse for me than having to deal with my own situation. To a certain extent I still had some control whereas my dad had none. A couple of months before he died he looked like that Munch painting “The Scream” and in the last week of his life refused all food and drink because he’d had enough. It is 5 years since he died next month and I find those last memories of him quite disturbing. A sad end for a brave 88 year old who served his country in WW2, then did a hard job as a miner without complaint. He was also a widower before retirement.
Alzheimers/dementia is something I would not wish on anyone or their family and often the carers who struggle with it 24/7 are just forgotten. I looked after my dad for a year before he went into care, at that point he was in the earlier stages but it was hard enough. I do not know how people look after their loved ones once they have lost all their faculties to the disease. I know 2 people who are juggling businesses and elderly mums in the early to middle stages of Alzheimers and they are under phenomenal pressure (one also has a daughter with a rare heart condition to worry about).
In an ideal world all serious illnesses would be given equal treatment. I look at my own lot from the point of view that BC isn’t the only thing that can kill me, there are plenty of other killer diseases out there which are just as horrible if not worse.
I fully appreciate that pinkification/sexiness/cuddliness all contribute to fundraising for breast cancer causes, but that mindset is really concentrating on primary breast cancer because that can be ‘cured’ and people can get one with their lives. I feel that secondary breast cancer is very much ignored and I have spent a lot of time educating family and friends on the fact that I am terminally ill and not it isn’t curable like it seems to be presented in the popular media!
I also strongly feel that it shouldn’t be a case of who shouts loudest gets heard, but unfortunately that seems the way the world is. Who knew or cared about Ethiopia in the 80s until it was rammed into our faces. So it seems to fall back on positive media coverage.
Yes, I am grateful that breast cancer is receiving funding and yes, I do feel bad that other illnesses do not get so much attention.
But, no, like any other terminal or debilitating disease it is not sexy and yes it does rankle me too when people refer to breast cancer as sexy. Equally though we are all at liberty to express our opinions and choose our own wording, even if that may cause offence. I’d hate to live in a world where we all had to have the same opinion and use the same terminology. That would be far too boring.
I think the terminology was unfortunate, but she probably meant that as far as campaigning is concerned, cancer has a stronger political lobby than Alzheimer disease (and therefore gets more media attention).
While this might be a fair point, I don’t see what this comparison can add to the alzheimer campaign.
hi. my wife was diagnosed with BC in 2009. she was upset at lynda bellinghams ‘sexy illness’ comment a few weeks back. i wrote to Mrs Bellingham explaining that although i appreciated her comment had not intended to cause offence my wife had nevertheless been upset by it. I received a handwritten response from her today apologising unreservedly. She explained that she had been trying to highlight that the methods of presentation used by various charities were “sexy” and that she no way intended to use the phrase in relation to cancer as an illness. She also explained that the interview had been edited and that her full explanation to that effect may not have come across. I just wanted to pass on the gist of mrs bellingham’s letter to anyone else who may have been upset by her comment. Thanks for reading this. Best wishes to everyone. P.
Good for you in writing to her. I understood what she was trying to say but nevertheless find usage of the word ‘sexy’ completely unnecessary and jarring when discussing health issues.
Thanks very much for passing on the gist of her letter and all credit to her for responding and apologising. Elinda
Whilst I agree with most that the term “sexy” was possibly unfortunate, one thing I do know is that without the “pink and fluffy” fundraising for BC, we probably would not have the facilities to carry out this discussion.
All long term, chronic and life threatening illnesses deserve and should have the appropriate funding from the government; no illness is better or worse than another, when you or yours is affected by it.
I am at the first stages of dealing with my cancer, and its effects on me and mine, but one thing I do know, all the information and support that is available from this charity and others, is making it a little more bearable.