Im off for a liver scan this pm… nothing to worry about says gp and onc, but blood tests for liver came back abit off… have had 2nd lot of chemo this year - so could be that. Urgent liver scan ordered and 7 weeks later here we are!!
This is after bc age 31, oral and neck cancer ager 33 and bc again other side this year age 39 and now newly diagnosed with brca1 gene. so going through the whole thing of double mastectomies and recon with all the appts ect …!
I am so so tired… i feel like im a bubble… and people are talking to me but they are slurring their words and i can’t take it in. I can’t remember things… i will be talking then can’t remember a word i want…!
I feel so so sorry for my hubby of 3 years… this time last year we had bought a new home, were doing it up and had just returned from a lovely holiday in canada… now a year later im not sure what the future holds again! I’m a nurse and not sure if thats a help or a hinderence… oh perhaps i’m just having one of ‘those days’… i lost my mum a few years back and would give anything for a cuddle… i miss her so much…im gonna have to go and repair my mascara … otherwise will look like one of those rock singers with the black eyes… not nice!!
Oooooooohhhhhh i hate this disease… all i want is to feel happier… but despite trying to sort out and push to see this consultant or that… i have an op in december so won’t make it back to work within the year…not sure what employer will do… but does it really matter… sometimes yes… sometimes no… does anything matter except my family… no i think not. bye for now - sorry for whingeing and whining…
Your despair leaps out of the page, I can only send cyber hugs. The bubble you are in will be so isolating but I am glad you have put all your worries down on this site.
Today is a bad day for you there’s no denying that, but I read between the lines you have your positive days so hold in there, can I share an extract from ‘Share the Hope’
May you never miss a rainbow
or a sunset
because you are looking down.
I trust everything will go well for you today and whatever the outcome I hope you have the strength to knock down yet another barrier to a healthy life.
If you would like some further support during this difficult time please feel free to contact our helpline on 0808 800 6000. Our helpliners are either specialist breast care nurses or people who have had personal experience of breast cancer so will have an understanding of how you feel right now. The team can talk to you about other forms of support we can offer such as ‘Peer support’ and ‘Live chat’ if you feel it would help, or can just provide a ‘listening ear’. The helpline opens Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Sat 9am-2pm.
all i can really do is send you a hug. it’s a bit like trying to catch a dozen balls all thrown at once - every ball is supposed to be imprtant, but you know you cannot catch them all! You are right though - family always comes before any employer - bosses can wait, family comes first.
you will get through this and, as you say, you have had two lots of chemo this year, it would be a bigger surprise if your liver wasn’t grumbling!
Moan all you need to though - that is what we are here for.
hugs
x x x
Wendy its hardly any wonder you feel down. I hope it helped in some small way writing it all down.
Do let us know how the scan went. When do you get the results?
No ‘glib’ words like ‘I am sure you will be ok’ as i know how infuriating it is for someone to say that. Just a massive cyber hug.
My mum died 18 months before my DX and believe me i still long for her gorgeous comforting hugs. I think we go back to when we were kids and mum comforting us and making everything ok. think we all wish that could happen.
I would say ‘sod’ work, dont even be adding that pressure to your life just now.
Am back… the ultrasound lady was very nice and told me that she could see nothing to worry about… i feel like a ballon what was about to expode and has now gone flat… but in a nice way… my head hurts (one brain cell left must be awake!)
Thank you all for your kind replies and support, cyber hugs, the lovely verse.
The idea of juggling is right… keeping all the balls up… and spinning a few plates… no one could keep them all going… so a few will fall…but that’s life… and for now I have a future and must make the most of it…!
Liverbird… i know what you mean about the hugs…the tears are back… the hurt never goes… but a bright star at night is my mum and i talk to her then… you probably have something or somewhere you talk to too… she was with me today… the sun came out just as i went into the hospital…
once again thank you for letting me rant and rave and for all the support you all give… you’ve been there, are there… you know how it is xx
So glad your scan was o.k.
Just read your thread, i hope you can now move on from those feelings of desperation. Its so hard sometimes isn’t it? I’m 40 and just a newy to this!
love Julie XXX
Wendy
I am glad your scan was ok. I had one last week as my liver function tests have not been right and have even got worse after finishing chemo 2 months ago. I was very nervous as well and very relieved when told that it looked ok.
All the best
Anne
Thank you for all your replies and kind wishes… im taken aback at your kind replies and good wishes… im sorry your all on this site… but so glad to have your support… its like swings and roundabouts… some days positive some days not… its like we are all treading water… when one gets tired we hold that person up… then they get stronger and they hold someone else up… does that make sense?
anyway… thank you all… words dont cover the help your words have given me… x
I have had a similar problem. My routine LFT has shown up high levels. A few weeks ago I had an ultrasound scan and to my relief the liver showed no sign of cancer. Unfortunately I have been advised to abstain from alcohol for a while just in case I have a sensitive liver and am going for another LFT test again today to see if it has made any difference to the results. I don’t think it is alcohol related because I only drink one glass of wine a day which I do not feel is excessive so I am not expecting any change in the results.
The radiologist said it could be the tablets I am taking (Arimidex). I will know more after the results of the LFT in a few days time and also after I have seen my oncologist next Saturday (17th October) with the test results. I am expecting that he will say that it is my medication (Arimidex) causing the problem as a few weeks ago I wrote on this site to ask if anyone else had had high Liver Function Test readings as a result of the medication - particularly Arimidex. I had one reply from a lady who had been told by her Oncologist that it was the Arimidex causing the problem and not to worry. She had been continuing with the prescribed cancer medication and the tests, although still high, had not increased and she was fine.
The bottom line of all this is try not to worry - it’s probably the cancer treatment causing the high results.
That is very interesting as my LFT result has also got worse since starting Arimidex. I also have Clexane injections daily following a blood clot and they can (rarely) affect LFT results.
