ALMOST AFRAID TO POST Hi Moderators,
I would have loved to contributed to this debate, and also the general comments on this thread but I have watched posts in the last 48 hours being withdrawn by the Moderators. It is very difficult when you want to make a constructive comment that may contain an element of criticism to find the Moderators here will not tolerate criticism from some members, and let others become really quite offensive in their remarks. I noticed one particularly that was quite humorous (at least I thought so) by Kathelinor, but that has now gone. Also today there was another post (I think by Roisin) with some quite sensible comments which has been withdrawn. I think I would feel very hurt if that had been my post, and I had thought it mild my comparison to others, to have it withdrawn and so i hold back to say how I really feel here. I can understand posts being withdrawn if they are hurtful to fellow bc sufferers, but surely Moderators your shoulders are broad enough to accept criticism when people are being so frustrated by your actions, or in the case of contact buttons - inaction.
dawnhc
I agree Dear RMW26
Even though I haven’t contributed to this debate I was enjoying reading the lively views of others. I’m sure everyone concerned felt enriched and invigorated by the opportunity to express their opinions and listen to others who might not agree with them.
I want to know, what is the ‘other site’ and how can I find it?
I have asked this previously but my post seems to have gone missing!!! Hmmmm.
Amazonwoman
Hi Amazonwoman The “other site” can be found at :
phpbbserver.com/breastcancer/
Room for all Me again
If as I have noted on this site we can have a wicken (sp?), a pagan, a vicar, Asian women, mixed race woman, men, lesbians (not any particular order there you understand) then of course we are going to have a wealth of different view points and that makes for interesting reading I personally feel.
There is room for all of us.
See you on the “other side” Amozanwomen???
LindaAnn
Hear, hear Totally agree with you LiindaAnn.
Its the diversity of the forum members that makes for interesting exchanges. Surely we can all have different views and yet still get on - we are not children and its a dull world if we all have the same viewpoint.
However, there seems to be a kind of censorship by ?BCC/a moderator? if we do not all conform to one way of thinking, that i have noticed before. I obviously don’t know about anyone that may have complained anonymously, of course, but I note that those who were having the discussion that has recently been spirited into the ether by BCC, have spoken up against this censorship. If its just a few complaints, then BCC, maybe you should be thinking of the majority, rather than a knee jerk to appease the minority.
You cannot please all the people all of the time, and, as you say BCC, many poeple look at this site everyday. So consider the percentage that complained - and how many are complaining now.
If we can’t have a spirited discussion about BC here - the one place you’d expect to - then its a sorry state of affairs, makes for a sterile and uninteresting forum, and does no justice to BCC or its good work.
Oh Dear!!! Moderator, what have you done!!!
I never post in anything political or contraversial on the forums…I leave that to others who are much more articulate with words than I am…but I still enjoy the lively debating that goes on, not always agreeing with points of view, but applaude our ability to observe differing opinions and still support their choice to do so.
I’m afraid with your ‘heavy handed policing’ of these forums, you have succeeded in sending members elsewhere to look for support, which I did, I logged on to the other forum mentioned some time ago and found tremendous support there. Please don’t wrap us in cotton wool…as others have said, we can go in another chat room, if anything we find on here upsets us or if we find subjects disagreeable.
I feel so sad that this forum has declined so much, as it was a lifeline to me when I first joined and I am sure it will continue to be so for new members…but feel sorry that they will never know this forum the way I remember it some time ago…but, of course, I will still log on, to give support if I can and hope that things will change for the better.
Marie X
complainers As in any community, there seems to be a small highly vocal minority who let fly when things are not absolutely to their way of thinking . Why do you keep on coming if you don’t like the site? You seem to be so eager to persuade people onto “The other site” as if it was a better place to be. The rare times I have visited it and gone through its postings, there seems to be considerabel dissension there too, and sometimes quite virulent. In fact, I rarely bother these days.
Surely you can work with the moderators of the BCC site rather than becoming aggressive. I’ve always found they are responsive to personal contact, and it must be hurtful to have continual complaint about how they handle their role - which is probably laid down by someone else who is not involved anyhow. These sorts of “debates” are so unnecessary and create such unhappiness, and drive people away rather than encouraging them to seek the answers they want.
Not sure Phoebe… … that its a case of not liking this site. The women and men who come here are of coniderable support to each other, and BCC does good work. Its just not liking open-minded and free discussion being thwarted in its tracks. And both sites have their merit, but is a censorous ‘yes man’ approach the way to go forward? I frequent both sites, as do many, and am happy to continue doing so.
To persuade people over? - People have their own free will - its mostly mentioned on this site as being a vehicle to enable people to communicate now there are no contact buttons here. I don’t feel an aggressive stance has been taken by anyone, unless the complainer(s) that compained to BCC were being aggressive? that we’ll never know.
These debates are ‘unecessary’ - really? I’m not sure i agree with you there, Phoebe. What does one do? Enter no lively discussions, kow tow to anyone elses opinion whether we agree with them or not? I personally don;t see any harm in giving ones point of view if it differs - thats what makes humans interesting - we’re all diffierent. it doesn’t mean we dislike or feel animosity towards the other person - it only means we have another view.
Moderators - I moderate forums myself, so, yes, i know how difficult it can be. BCC does a great job in my opinion, for the most part. It is often up to individual moderator [talking generally, not BCC] opinions - and they also do consult with each other, of course. Sometimes their actions are right, sometimes they can be open to question, especially when providing a public service - we are all human after all. BCC does often ask for and welcome feedback. Surely debate is healthy, no?
No posts and an update I notice no one has posted on this thread since a number of us received an e-mail earlier this week from the Director of Information and Services who has suggested that this kind of debate is upsetting for some fourm users.
I am very sorry if this thread or any others I have contributed to have caused distress. Many people with breast cancer do find respectful challenge and debate a healthy part of information and support and I know I shall continue to do so. I think that service users should be able to feel comfortable about giving feedback to service providers, both positive and not so good things.
Very best wishes to everyone going through treatment and living with breast cancer…to everyone who posts and those who browse.
Jane
The email Hi Jane & all,
The email has definitely resulted in no one wishing to further contribute to this discussion (the desired effect?). I personally feel rather saddened by the whole affair.
Having a bc diagnosis brings so much emotion and strength of emotion, that we previously didn’t have, so to feel unable to express that makes me question my role as a user here. On the whole the opinions I’ve seen are done with respect to BCC and fellow users (sure it sometimes goes astray and then we have no objections to intervention) so to stifle healthy debate is rather disappointing to say the least.
We are united by breast cancer but we come from different facets of life so to expect absolute agreement of opinions is untenable.
Love Twinkle xoxo
Well said Jane and Twinkle. Having also received the email saddened is how I feel too.
Email me anytime.
Belinda…x
There has been quite a discussion about this email on the other site. Many of them are people who contribute a tremendous amount of support, encouragement and experience to the various forums here.
A final comment on that email was
“In the meantime, I would like to ask you to seriously consider the wider community who are also looking to the site as a place of safe information and support.”
A number of the comments (particularly those that were removed or never allowed past the Moderators) I do not think were threatening or offensive to anyone who has sought help and support here. Yes, I think they were challenging, and have arisen from a desire to see this site run more responsively to the needs of its members. They were never directed at fellow sufferers.
It would be really good if the Moderators had been more willing at the outset to respond openly to some of those comments so that we were not being left with the feeling we had no right to an opinion or that they were unable to accept criticism without suggesting that it was hostile. Some criticism is intended to be constructive.
One effect of this email has been to make some of us feel hesitant to continue to post here and I think that will be a considerable loss to everyone.
Respectfully,
Dawnhc
Twizzle Hi Twizzle
I have deleted the post for you
Kind Regards
Forum Host
Breast Cancer Care