Loss of Libido
Loss of Libido Has anyone else lost theirs completely? My periods stopped with the first cycle of FEC last November, my libido completely went with them and we haven’t had sex since. I was 45 and perimenopausal when diagnosed, I think that was why my periods ended so soon after starting treatment.
I’m not under any pressure from OH, he doesn’t feel much like anything physical anyway with the stress of my situation and says once the oncologists have sorted everything out things will come right again. Thing is, I’m really missing intimacy on that level as we have been together 23 years and things in that department have always been very good between us. I’m just thankful we are able to discuss things with each other.
On a better note, I had another Taxotere/Herceptin today. It was very hard going as they had to try 8 times to get a vein up, every one they tried was resisting and one was too narrow to risk. The nurses ended up asking their boss to do it for them as they didn’t want to put me through any more. Only one more Taxotere to go, yippee!
We met a couple at the hospital today who had 3 kids and the wife was only 32 - doesn’t bear thinking about to have the worry of BC at that age. Thankfully she looked well and they were very positive. When I was32 I was embarking on a 3 year degree in Modern History and felt I had everything in front of me. Had a great time at college and some great jobs in the Arts afterwards.
same here HI
I know what you mean. I lost my libido whilst on chemo and now periods have stopped so must be menopausal and am 45. I couldn’t be bothered if I never had sex again which is not like me at all. I just feel sorry for my husband who has been brilliant. I think alot of us are in the same boat but too embarassed to post. I’m 3 months post treatment now, on tamoxifen and my feelings have’t changed. Councilling would be a waste of time you can’t make something there that isn’t there anymore. Its got to the point that if he had an affair I wouldn’t be jealous ( but I’m not letting him know that don’t want to be seen to be encouraging anything. I don’t know what the answer is or why it’s happened, I can only think its a drop in tesosterone levels.
all the best
kay
Hi cherub,
I was diagnosed in March 2005 aged 46 and had FEC from May to Sept 05 and had my last period in June that year. I had a hormonal profile in January this year because I have been having severe gastro-intestinal symptoms which my consultant attributed to Tamoxifen, so he was hoping to change me over to Arimidex, but it appears that even though I have not had a period for nearly 2 years I am still perimenopausal, so can only assume that Tamoxifen is also responsible for my loss of libido too. My husband has been very patient, but I often feel inadequate and only go through the motions to please him and haven’t felt any real passion since just before I discovered ‘the lump’. The breast care nurse offered psycho-sexual counselling 18 months ago as the NHS seem to think that the reason for loss of libido is due to the trauma of diagnosis and treatment, yet I am now fitter and healthier than I ever was having lost weight through adopting a healthy diet and taking regular exercise, but I don’t feel any different. A kiss and cuddle is enough for me but I find myself avoiding physical contact because I don’t have any desire for anything more. I have read posts from many women who are experiencing similar problems and all have different techniques for coping. For me I just hope that when I finish Tamoxifen in 3 years time, I will become rampant again! This is just my experience so I hope things do improve for you.
Best Wishes
Soapsuds
Hi Cherub
can totally emphasise with the total lack of libido… I was diagnosed 2 yrs ago at age 31 and whilst things were ok even after surgery and chemo, once I started tamoxifen and zoladex things seriously took a nosedive in the ole bedroom department …and now at 33 I still have no desire at all. Like you OH is very understanding but I find it so annoying that this is another aspect of my life that has been affected. I have been with OH for almost 13 yrs now and I think we are both saddened with the current situation. Wish I knew the answer !!! Anyway glad to hear you have only one more taxotere to go !
best wishes, Lorri xx
Glad to know I am not alone as i have no sex drive at all.
I think its the tamoxifen and i know for me its the fact i hate my body.
I have put on about 2 and a half stone since DX in 2005 with the chemo and tamoxifen. Have one breast and constant hot flushes. Does not lend itself to feeling sexy does it.
I used to love buying sexy underwear but find i get upset even looking now.
What saddens me is we never even cuddle and i long to be held more so than ever with feeling scared since DX.
No one prepares you for this no one talks to you about it, don’t you find oncologists ignore it.
I think back to periods and although i hated them i would love to have mid cycle hormone surges when i loved sex.
Rx
Hi all
so reassured by your posts. That side of my marriage seems to have gone completely and we only got married in Nov. last year! For me I think it’s a combination of loss of libido plus feeling really unattractive. Overweight, one breast, thin hair, bla bla. the cancer in my hip also makes many positions sore and I worry that it’ll break, so all in all not a sexy experience! I can’t bare listening to people moaning about being a few pounds over weight or a bad hair cut. You want to say try having a body like mine and it’s all out of our control.
so far OH has been fine with this but I feel it does affect your relationship. Just can’t quite bring myself to go through the motions when my heart isn’t in it. Just yet another rubbish thing to deal with,
boo hoo
franky
Hi I was 29 when first dx 8 yrs ago, had lumpectomy, 6 CMF, rads etc. 2 yrs later plunged into the menopause. It took a while to get my libido back, but it did come back.
This time, after a bilateral, hair loss & 6 FEC to tackle everything has gone downhill. No libido what so ever. For me i think part of it is not feeling a woman any more & i don’t think that will come back until i have my recon, the other is feeling so tired after the chemo.
OH is very good & understanding, but it is starting to get me down.
Good luck with your last Taxotere Cherub
take care Louise xxx
My sex drive is coming back a bit… I had a mastectomy in 2003 and was taking Arimidex, had so much trouble on it that went onto Aromasin. Also had brain cancer in 2006 and had chemo…so have been pretty much off that side of things with going through so much trauma. But I am finding that my sex drive is coming back a bit now, so I have got a very excited husband again!!!
My husband has also been wonderful over it all, although I do think it was getting him down a bit. I think all the medication along with the depression and worry that comes with cancer brings on a change in the body ‘fluids’ which put you off sex.
Good luck with the last treatment Cherub.