lost and empty

Hi Alice

Sorry to jump in here but I had a WLE 10th Jan with SNB too. They usually take more than one node at the time. I had 5 out including the sentinal. Give your breast nurse a ring tomorrow and they will be able to tell you how may they removed.

Chin up hun I too have breast cysts. In fact i went with what turned out to be a cyst in my left boob which they drained and thats when they found the cancer in the right one. My left cyst has started tofill again but they are closely monitoring it along with my 3 monthly checkups.

Dont apologise for feeling low we all go through those feeelings atsome time or another. Just remember there is always someone with good advice out here.

Shonagh xx

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Alice hun,

Firstly dont for a minute think you are being stupid. The only thing I can add to it is when I spoke to the oncologist monday just gone I was at the breast clinic and voiced my concerns (I have them too honestly) that even thought the cyst was drained I wasnt scanned or mammogrammed again to check there wasnt anything hiding behind it and she told me as they look so different they would both show up. In fact after what you have jusst said about them looking different I am doubly re assured and I also I felt very re assured as the oncologist their registrar and my surgeon all came and had a feel and all said the same.

Hope you manage to get some sleep tonight and perhaps write any questions down before you ring them. I always find I get side tracked and forget to ask at least one question if I dont.

Love ((((Hugs)))) and luck to you Shonagh xx

Hi Alice

Sorry you are feeling so down, do you have a date for your results yet? I have read through your posts but cant see it when I was getting streey I rang the BCN and she sorted me out a date which gave me something to aim for!

Good luck sending hugs

Karen

XXX

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Hi Alice

I too have been swapped from knock out sleeping pills to doselupin (anti anxiety pills) but only 25 mg (normally 75 to 150) which currently arent really doing it for me so back to the GP on Thursday to discuss lack of sleeping. Its wierd really I seem not to be worrying or anxious about the cancer but for some reason I am just not sleeping.

I’m not sure when I start the rads but I have received my planning appointment for the 19th Feb so presume it will start some time the following week. I will let you know as soon as i do. I started the tomoxfin the same day as the ant anxiety so not sure if the anti anxiety are lessending the side effect of the tamoxofin but so far a week in and no side effect to speak of. I feel generally lethargic which is strange for me, I think i may have a case of post surgery blues even though its 4 weeks tomorrow. Physically I feel fine, in fact as I have lost over 1 and a half stone since finding the cyst I am ironicallly probably fitter than I have been in years but mentally the whole thing is just a bit draining so give yourself a break. I think sometimes we feel we have to be super women and carry on no matter what but sometimes something has to give and I have stopped putting on the “everything is fine” mask. If i’m feeling low I now follow the 3 day rule I read about in a book called Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips. I am allowed 3 days to feel sorry for myself then before it becomes a habit.

Hope you are OK and keep in touch. Love luck and hugs. Shonagh xx

Well results at last.

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Hi Alice

You poor thing, when I had wle and it came back with no clear margins I decided to go for mastecotomy, although I was grade 3 not 2, my logic was I didnt want all the waiting in between ops to find clear margins. I also had the same thought about lymph nodes mine were clear but I though if I leave it will they still be clear - so many questions arhhh!!!

I read as many post on here that I felt related to me and in the end decided that I wanted to get rid of the cancer so that I could get started with the rest of my treatment and move on. By the way mine was IDC not Lubular. I dont know if this helps or will make you even more confused I hope not. It really is a rubbish time we stress out about getting the results and then when we get them we stress out about what they say.

Climb down off the walls call some good friends and crack open a bottle of the old Vino Collapso and try to give yourself a break.

Sending you love and hugs

Karen
XXX

Hi Alice,

Blimey charlie!!!you are going through the mill at the minute, Good news on the grade and node clearance, Sorry to hear about the second op because of the margins. 5 weeks is along time to wait. Whats the reason for the 5 week wait. I was told if my margins werent clear the second op would be about 2 weeks after the first. Really sorry you are climbing the walls, its definatey the waiting that gets to you at this stage. I know nothing I can say will make it better butmy thoughts are with you. I reached the ceiling bythe time I had my programme details but its not true what they say…the drugs do work…they seem to have finally found me something I can take long term…ish that knocks me out at night.

Sometimes you have to let people know how you are feeling though. All this putting a brave face on makes people think you are back to normal and I’m all for getting on with it but sometimes you need a little TLC.
My thoughts are with you and I hope that you are feeling OKish. Sometimes I just want to open a door in my head take out all the words that I dont like and put them in the freezer for a while just to stop them spinning roung in my head.
Thinking of you. Shonagh xxx

Thanks Karen
Thanks Shonagh
How are you getting on now?

Alicexx

Hi Alice

Just had a thought if we go on E**y and buy a time machine like Dr Who’s we could hire it out on here to all the people waiting for results for a small charge we would be inundated with work and think of all that money - we could buy a little island in the sun and take all the wonderful people off this site for a lovely break. Are you game!!!

Karen

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Hey Karen
You are a genius, I will start trawling ebay right now for TIME MACHINES(would you go back or forwards in time?) you have got me thinking though about getting away from here for a bit…where would I get cheap sun and surf at this time of year? : ) lol
Thanks
love Alicex

Karen
Just realized it was only last week you had your 2nd operation, how are you feeling now?
Alicex

Hi Alice

Backwards or forwards urrrmmm dunno thats a really hard question didnt realise when I suggested just though about getting to these bloody appointment a bit quicker ha ha.

Getting away - as you will know it half term so be a bit pricey next week, went to Rhodes in October last year - wow it is so lovely me thinks it will be a long time before we get abroad again - Skeggy here I come.

Yes you are right it was last week I had my op - I’m ok bit up and down but thats par for the course really isnt it, I do feel alot better than I thought I would (Mastectomy wise). With the softie in no-one can tell which I find really good.

My boss has been round today and brough me a cake the children have made for me it is heart shaped with pink icing with red jelly hearts on the top. Ow Bless how sweeet is that!

Hope you are feeling a bit better - not mentioned the wine are your Lush days over already?

Love and hugs

Karen

XXX

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Hi Alice

Had I been grade 2 I would have given “snipping” alot more thought.

I worked upto 12 Dec Op on 13 Dec for wle, I then went back for odd days after the xmas break and was just getting back into it when I caught a cold off OH the week of my op for mast so packed in worked and I am now signed off for another 4 weeks. I cant remember if you are doing chemo or not but that is my next big decision. When you work with kids your immunity is built up so should I try working the good weeks on chemo to help with sanity and immunity or should I just wait until it is all sorted? I really dont know what the best thing is to do. Suppose I shall speak to the onc when I get my appointment through.

Karen

XXX

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Hiya

Just wanted to butt in - hope you don’t mind! Re: going away, I felt exactly the same. Having just finished 4 x Fec, and about to embark on 22 rads sessions, ansd not having been at work since last November, I desperately needed to sort out a holiday. We usually go abroad at Easter but couldn’t quite face that this year. Just wanted to say, I went on the Haven Holidays website (for my 9 year old!) and despite it being the easter hols they have some excellent offers on.

I managed to book a week in the lakes in ‘superior’!! accommodation for £160 - was well impressed. Am hoping that being able to explore the lake district on crisp spring days will give me a bit of a boost after my rads and before I have to start the dreaded Taxotere!.

Not everyone’s cup of tea I know - but a break nonetheless!

take care

Margaret x