Lumpectomy on Monday , having a melt down day today 😪

[jolou]

it was 6cm - that is why I had chemo first - so that surgery would be less invasive.

Really hoping you don’t have to have chemo - everyone is different and treatment is so individual.

x

[butterflywing]

@jolou

Thanks , I hope so to .

Am beginning to see that no two journeys are exactly the same but that we can all be there to support each other through this awful time

[katie91]

Morning @butterflywing, I had my lumpectomy on 16th December and had a wobble a couple of days before but once I walked into that hospital I know it sounds weird but I was so excited to get it out! Your feelings are so valid though because what a very crappy situation we find ourselves in is not normal and we have never been prepped to deal with it!!

Once your lumpectomy is done you’ll wake up hopefully feeling so happy that its another step on your journey done and you’re step closer to leaving all of this behind you!

The waiting I don’t think will ever be easy but I’ve certainly found the wait after surgery easier than the wait for the treatment plan, that felt like absolute torture but this to me has just popped into my mind every now and then and I’ve been able to forget about it whereas the initial wait for treatment plan consumed my every thought! Do you like reading or have any hobbies you can do during your recovery to keep your mind distracted and not overthinking results? I watched lots of series that kept my mind distracted and was up and abput from day 4 so I didn’t let my mind spiral.

I’m making sure I don’t let my mind wander too far into the future as all it’s doing is taking todays joy away by worrying about something that may not happen, but of course your feelings are completely valid and it isn’t always as easy as just not letting your mind wander!! Have you been offered any counselling or complementary therapies that may help with the anxiety of the future?

You never need to apologise for your posts on here, no matter how down you’re feeling there will be kots of us here who have been through it and felt the same

I’ll be thinking of you and @hen tomorrow for your op’s, excited for you to be another step ahead of your journeys when you feel up to it let us know how you got on!

Lots of love and hugs

[mssteel]

Hey @butterflywing

Hope you’re feeling better today, totally fine if you’re not.

My family are supportive practically but are also not the best when it comes to the emotional stuff so I arranged to be referred for counselling through my BCN. Just thought I’d make you aware this is something you can do in case you weren’t already and you think it might be useful for you in addition to the wonderful support on here.

I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow! x

[butterflywing]

@katie91

Thankyou so much for your lovely message , it’s given me a bit of positivity regarding tomorrow. It’s going to be scarey but I’ll get through it and hopefully feel the relief

I haven’t asker for any counselling, I haven’t even contacted the BCN so.ehow doing that makes it all the more real .

Will get tomorrow out the way then hopefully it’s onwards and upwards! xx

[katie91]

I’m glad its given you abit of positivity and you’re right you will get through it! I have 2 young kids and I kept telling myself it will be the best uninterrupted nap of my life

I know exactly what you mean although I’ve been in contact with the BCN I couldn’t even face the thought of asking for counselling but although since my lumpectomy I don’t really feel like I need counselling I’m going to go and have an assessment to give myself the best chance mentally as I do have a tendency of just pushing things down and getting on with it!! Lots of love xx

[mai3]

Hi. I fully understand everything ur goin thru. Had my surgery on Dec 19th after being diagnosed Dec 15 th. The shock I got I nearly died. Found on a routine first mammogram no family history. It was less than 1 mm surgery was soo much better than I expected. I was a wreck Was supposed to get results and treatment plan on the 6 th and they cancelled till the 12 th. It’s torture. I’m terrified I’ll need chemo cus I must be vain I can’t imagine losing my hair. And my son’s wedding during the year it’s all I think about. Im just wishing the 12 th was over and plan in place Does anyone have an idea of what my treatment would be. Hope everything goes well for u x

[naughty_boob]

Be thinking of you tomorrow. It can be scary. But I went into it with the idea that the cancer would be gone. I had a double (bilateral) lumpectomy with an invasive tumour in each naughty boob.

I had to have chemo and Herceptin afterwards being ER+and HER2+. I did find it hard to come to terms with the cancer being gone with the extra treatment for a year afterwards. I was told the cancer had been removed but the long time with active treatment and side effects didn’t feel like it.

Sorry you aren’t getting the support you need, not excusing the behaviour but he could be acting out of worry but it comes across as negative. He can also access the BCN helpline 0808 800 6000 from tomorrow Monday-Fri 9-4 Sat 9-1 and MacMillan 0808 808 0000 7 days a week 8-8. If you have a local Maggie’s at your hospital they can also help both of you.

Maybe also see if there is a local breast cancer support group. The BCN Moving Forward course is available after all your treatments and a good way to mix with others with bc.

• Moving Forward: Finishing treatment can be hard, and it can be difficult to move forward with your life. You can access our support online or face-to-face. Our online information hub and Moving Forward journal provide extra ideas and information. Courses run over 2 weeks, with 2 3.5hr sessions. Or trained facilitators and volunteers are there to help. Find a course near you.

Waiting for results never gets any easier, annual mammograms are a case in point.

Take care. You can do this. Keep sharing.

[butterflywing]

@katie91

Must admit it has crossed my mind that I’ll be having a good rest while they do it !

Did you have the dye injected the morning of your op ? I’m wondering what the process for that is . I know I’m having it done tomorrow and seen something about a gamma scanner which has sent me back down the path of worry ( hate anything medical ) especially if it’s like an MRI machine xx

[butterflywing]

@mai3

Hi thanks for reaching out.

I know you don’t feel it but if your lump was less than 1mm your very lucky . Mine is somewhere between 1.3 & 20 mm ( Mammogram said 1.3 US sound 1.5 and consultant thought he felt about 20mm ) .

I think treatment depends on your tumour type mine is ER+ HER- , so for me it’s lumpectomy, radiation , hormone therapy and possibility of chemo depending on oncytype score . Like you I’m praying I don’t have to have chemo.

Do you know what type your tumour was yet ? x

[butterflywing]

@naughty_boob

Thankyou so much for your message and all the helpful contact numbers .

I do think he was acting out of worry , he’s said a few things that he shouldn’t have really said but it’s a tense time .

I’m dreading tomorrow but weirdly just want it to come so I can get rid of this lump.

I’m hoping I don’t need chemo , I’m Er+ Her - so am guessing they will want to oncotype test it .

Thankyou for your good wishes for tomorrow, they mean alot xx

[katie91]

I was feeling abit funny about the dye too but they did it once they put me to sleep so I have no idea how they did it as I was out for the count, hopefully your hospital does it when you’re asleep too. If you have any other questions before tomorrow ask away and I’ll help if I can

You will honestly be absolutely fine (if not a little groggy) but that pesky lump will be gone for good hopefully this time tomorrow

[mai3]

Hiya. I’ll know on Monday 12th

Mine was described as a dot if not for mammogram would have taken 12/18 months for a lump to appear To the visual eye nymp nodes clear but 4 were tested during surgery Everything happen so quick mammogram Dec 10 th results Dec 15 th and surgery the 19 th It ruined my Xmas Had to cancel my holiday and keep bright for everyone surgery was piece of cake The waiting torture I’m playing it down to family but am scared for Monday .. are u in the uk ? I’m in Ireland

[butterflywing]

@katie91

I know I have to go up to nuclear medicine in the morning for the dye to be put in and apparently they will inject more while they do the surgery. So looks like I’m getting two lots .

I’m hoping by this time tomorrow it will all be over and I’m on my way home or at the very least awake .

I’ve been quite positive all day but now the nerves are kicking back in and the tears are beginning to flow again .

How long have you came round did they let you come home? x

[butterflywing]

@mai3

I’m in Derby England
Your journey so far sounds amazingly fast , your so lucky!

I found a lump and was referred on 17th Nov . Went to breast clinic Dec 1st , results Dec 12th and op tomorrow..

Did you have a sentinel node biospy while having surgery ? x

[joodles]

@butterflywing and @hen nearly three weeks post therapeutic mammoplasty and SLNB - totally get the “fear” and the “tears” for me I was so afraid of the anaesthetic and I will confess there were tears prior to going under but I can admit the preop morphine was delightful! My biggest post op top tip is ensure you have a good supply of pillows, accept the heart shaped pillow if offered at hospital for under your arm. Take all the offered pain meds -rest, rest, rest then move a little too! You’re already more than brave enough to take this poxy cancer on plus we have medicine and science on our side. Good luck, Lovelies. You’ve got this!

[butterflywing]

@joodles

Thankyou for your words of encouragement, its good to hear from people who are now post surgery and doing well .

I hope I’m at least awake by this time tomorrow if not on my way home !

Hope your recovering well , sending love

[mai3]

Hi. I wish u the best of luck for tomorrow. My op went grand. Once I went down next thing I knew I was waking up. I was not sore at all Just paracetamol. Op on Fri. Released on sat. I drove on Sunday ( automatic ) and only took v few pain killers. Incisions much smaller that I thought they would b .. I’m not 100% of details. I have an incesion under my arm where I had dye inserted and nymp nodes (1 to 4 ) checked even thou all clear on ultra sound. Checked to be sure I was happy after op that it was gone . I hope all goes the same for u Pls let me know As we seem similar procedures. I’m 53 ..u ?

[hen]

Thank you

I have a mastectomy pillow -
I’m having therapeutic mammoplasty and reduction the other side. So thought the pillow would help and I have bought a wedge pillow too.

Really good to know you are on the mend and thanks for sharing.
X

[cvd]

I just want to wish everyone strength and peace! Your fears and emotions are all 100% valid. My lumpectomy/SNB was by far the easiest surgery I’ve ever had and the quickest recovery, but that didn’t stop me from having multiple meltdowns! I’m usually relatively stoic but cancer is, for most of us, a whole new ballgame. I assume your husband was trying to be supportive/strong, but please don’t internalize any shame for feeling however you’re feeling! People telling me that multiple biopsies, surgery, radiation, and hormone therapy were no big deal (people who had never gone through any of this) has been the most frustrating part of my journey.

I hope you all have successful surgeries and swift recoveries! Just know that whatever bumps you encounter along the way are valid (even if they’re only theoretical). Sending you all love and hugs!!!