Mark / Lance
I’ve just come across your postings. I logged onto the site for the first time in many months a few days ago but only got as far as the Current Issues / Hot Topics section before I was kicked off the kit by my son who wanted to pick up his e-mails!!!
I’m sorry that you’re both having a tough time at the moment……even sorrier that it may get tougher for you both in the weeks and months ahead!! There’s no point in beating around the bush because you will have to face some fairly scary issues and make some tough decisions…….often when you feel at your lowest ebb.
You asked for some personal stories from the members of this site. Here’s my ‘medical history’ in a nutshell : breast cancer in my right breast diagnosed 7 years ago at the age of 49……full mastectomy and lymph node clearance……5 nodes affected….6 courses of FEC chemo……5 years of Tamoxifen….a range of aches and pains in my knees….discovered that the chemo had affected my bones….both knee joints eventually replaced……left hip replaced. All of the preceding over the last seven years and involving numerous sleepless nights…hospital visits - both as inpatient and outpatient….periods off work etc. etc.
Did I get angry? Yes ! Did I feel isolated? Yes! Did I feel life was unfair? Yes! Did I cry! Yes! Was I a pain in the backside and vent my anger at my wife….kids…family? YES! YES! AND YES!!!
Will you do the same? I’ve no idea……you’re not me! People deal with issues in different ways. You’ll have people on this site who say ‘Be positive…that’s half the battle!’ - that’s great if it worked for them. I’ll confess that I used to get pretty peed off with people constantly saying it to me! I didn’t feel positive….I didn’t want to feel positive! I wanted to shout….cry…this disease was ruining my bloody life!! I’d lay awake at night looking at the dark sky simply wondering and worrying about what lay ahead….or feeling guilty that I’d just blasted my wife and/or kids over some trivial incident. There were times that things were pretty damned bleak. They’re not as bleak now……although the disease and its treatment have seriously affected my life in many ways. I’m seven years down the line from initial diagnosis. What got me here? My wife…family….good friends….employer…work colleagues….G.P. and some cracking NHS doctors, nurses and ancillary staff. - they all bore the brunt at various stages and helped me along. I suppose what I’m saying is be open to support from others……but that you have to find your own way .
As I said, I’m 7 years along now……worse than some……but luckier than many. There are some things I cant do any longer, I accept that. Why did breast cancer hit me? I’ve no idea. Will it hit me again? Who knows?? I’ve seen the reports on dairy…deodorants…soya….diets etc. etc. You’ll see reference to a whole hosts of reports - all pushing their own agendas and claiming to have the definitive answers. I decided that Jane Plant’s model for living isn’t for me - you may decide otherwise. I don’t drink as much - but still enjoy a pint of Tetley’s or Black Sheep…glass or two of Sauvignon Blanc - eat good food…properly cooked and exercise regularly.
Anyway……its nearly time for the England v Russia match !!! I do wish you both well. If there is something you think I may be able to help with, do ask. I’ll log onto the site over the coming weeks to see how you are.
Jim
P.s. Regards to the other folk on the site and a particular ‘Hi !!!’ to Pearly - if you still log on from time to time - I hope the move to Australia went well and that you’re settled and enjoying life….along with the Aussie wine!!!