Hi
Sorry to bother you, but I am starting to wonder if I am in denial over having the mastectomy. I feel like I have accepted it too readily. I know it is ill and I can see that it is ill (swollen, uncormfortable and red)and I know that the only way I will be made better is for it to be taken away. Of course if there was another option I would be going for that, but there isn’t.
I go for the scans tomorrow afternoon to see if it has crept anywhere else and will get the results on Wednesday (6th) when I see the Consultant.
All the best to everyone
Anne x
hi, There is no correct way to feel about having cancer and the treatment that it entails. Some people fall apart, some get angry some float along in a little bubble just accepting what comes, and some go through all the different emotions one after the other.
And i unfortunately I dont think its a matter of choice either. But if I could choose I think I would certainly choose denial.
No! You’re being normal.
Throughout my treatment I have been fairly perky with the occasional upset. My gp was a bit concerned that I was too chirpy and I had to spend some time reassuring him that I do cry.
The trick, I think, is to go with it. If you feel upset - cry. If you feel happy - smile.
You might find that you feel differently at some point - or you might not, there are no hard and fast rules.
You know how you feel x
Hi Angel,
Yep, you’re normal for YOU and I totally agree with SCACO and OAL. Me too, been a bit too chipper most of the time (except weekly angry shouting at the useless peasants, bar one, on The Apprentice) and had a minor sniffle the other day when REM’s ‘Everybody hurts’ came on my ipod - couldn’t shuffle past quick enough…
I too seemed to readily accept my fate and the mx so quickly, and I did have the initial wobbles but when I was told it was ‘suspicious’ before dx, the BCN said that I appeared unusually calm about it - well for one she didn’t know ME, and I just told her that I would only deal with facts and figures so to speak (I’m an accountant) and deal with the whatever when it happens and it’ll be what it’ll be.
I did surprise myself at how relatively calm I was (despite a couple of crumpled heap moments) and knew that for me I just needed the squatter gone - my younger sister with BC last year had a lumpectomy and said given the option she would’ve had mx as every twinge now has her totally worried.
Good luck with the scans tomorrow and the results, and the mx
Take care
Bev x
hi anne, the way you are accepting this is sort of how i did, it didnt upset me to have mx i understand it is so devastating for many women but personally for me it wasnt,i dont think you are in denial but you are bound to have low moments i cried the night before my op not because of the mx just the whole situation, good luck ,take care x
hi anne
when I had my diagnosis I felt surreal -like an out of body experience. I also knew the consultant and BCN on a personal as well as professional level so I think this may affected me also . I simply accepted the news and was told I required a mastectomy and that it would happen the follwing week - I left without any real info and the BCN had to ring me the folllowing day.
having the mx wasnt a choice and it had to be done -so that wasnt a problem at that point-staying alive seemed to be my biggest fear for my kids really-stayed positive and cheerful and spent a lot of time reassurring everyone else I wasnt hiding my feelings .
3 months on I have had crumpled heap days and also complete melt downs -but positive mostly .
I do think it affects us all differntly and ther is no right or wrong in this you simply have to" be" !I work with breast patients and I often remarked on how it was one of my happiest wards -I believe it is because women simply endure and that lifes adversity wont rub them out . It is also female ward and the women support each other -age is not a barrier. stay positive and lots of hugs x
Hi Angel,
lots of different ways of coping on here already, and that really is the point - we’re all different.
I had my mx and made the decision immediately when it was advised. I had a short melt-down just prior to the surgery, and have been pretty much fine about it since (it was on 8 Mar, had bilateral in the end).
I was worried that I felt so ok, and thought I might collapse later, but it hasn’t happened. I’m not saying I’ve been jolly and happy the whole time, but I’m ok. I wanted to be rid of the cancer, and I am now. So you’re as normal as I am lol.
Big hugs
xx
Hi Everyone
Many thanks for your comments and words of encouragement, they have really helped me to understand that there is no right or wrong way for how you should be feeling right now.
Today I had the bone and body scans and apart from feeling like a full water butt that might glow in the dark tonight and a little tired, I am glad they are over. I now wait for next Wednesday when the results are with the consultant.
Today made it all real and like the process was starting.
Anne x
its amazing how our attitudes can change. Before my op(for something much less serious than you are being treated for) i was in a bubble, I called it cloud cuckoo land, and i thought i was not worried–my son now tells me he has never seen me so nervous and stressed. But since the op I am suddenly energised and posative mentally ( and the body is catching up)
everybody says once the treatment program is in place you feel better.
however --if you have a melt down, we are still all here