I have been completely flat for years. I don’t bother with prosthetics anymore because I’ve too many other health issues to cope with tbh.
Years ago I helped (what was Breakthrough) and M&S with designs (via a focus group) for post surgery bras which was very rewarding. Now I’m older I find it doesn’t bother me so much.
Basically it’s whatever makes you comfortable 
Ha ha. Yes I did. I was the hot tub on holiday with girlfriends last week and realised my life wasn’t going to stop because of cancer!
Hi All, Just wanted to share details of Keeping Abreast - a breast reconstruction support charity, they offer support for those considering breast reconstruction, they also have an amazing range of post-surgery real life videos on their website showing the results of different surgeries ladies have had: Age Verification - Keeping Abreast
my mum has these and loves them.
Good luck - not that you will need it. I think I’d built it up in my mind so much, that afterwards it really wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I expected. Everyone will tell you rest, it’s important you do and keep mobile. Best advice is get on the exercises as soon as you’re able and physio too for scar management and mobility.
Everything crossed for you that it all goes to plan and recovery is good.
Amazing - thanks for sharing.
I’d second that. Do your exercises from day after surgery (my MX was in November) and move as much as you can. It’s really worth it in the long run, however much you might not feel like doing much. I recovered from surgery much quicker than I thought I would. Oddly my hospital doesn’t use drains so I never had that experience others are referring to here. Took many weeks for all the fluids to be reabsorbed. But I did have a nasty allergic skin reaction to the waterproof dressing so be alert for that!
Hi everyone. Not read all of the posts yet. Too early in the morning
But i woke at 3 am. Normal for me these days. So I will focus on the original question.
I had a mastectomy 4 weeks ago. 5 lymphs removed. 13cm Lobular Breast Cancer. Abnormal cells in all lymph nodes. Was not picked up by routine mammogram. So the cancer became huge. It was not a lump, rather an undefined denser area. Hey Ho. So this is where I am at.
I have remained flat. By choice although I have been repeatedly offered reconstruction.
My reasons? I simply didnt want more surgery. One huge operation was enough to cope with. Plus I am 63 and breasts are not as important to me these days. So regardless of the shock of cancer and needing to make very quick decisions, I still feel fine about my decision.
The surgeon left the neatest scar I could have wished for. It never freaked me out. I have been able to embrace it.
But the journey has not been easy. I hated the drain but coped. It was taken out easily. No pain. But I now have a seroma. Which is uncomfortable walking. So I walk slow. It has been suggested I may need this draining if I have Radiotherapy. But the surgeon wants to see if my body will naturally reabsorb it. I saw Lymphology yesterday as I could get Lymphedema, cellulite, so I am needing to be pro active and do preventative exercices and massage.
I have limited arm movements due to lymph removal. My arm is tight and gets painful if I do too much. I do exercices every day. Its a slow process getting full movement. Still early days I know. It’s what it is and I won’t push it.
My skin on my upper Right arm, is very tender. Feels like someone is using sandpaper on my skin when I wear cotton. That area can also feel paradoxically numb to the touch. Which is odd. Numb yet tender??? Get your head around that one 
. I dont try to understand the weirdness. So I bought a silk shirt which has helped alot. But goodness they are not cheap!!!. Cancer is expensive !!!
I am pooped every day. Could sleep all day. But I move about, go into town, meet friends, live as normal a life as possible. But I respect my limits and dont try to be superhuman. I am just me. I live on my own so I have to be kind to myself.
Due to the cancer being huge, found to be 13cm post op (The mammogram pre op showed it around 4.5-9cm) which was a shock last Wednesday finding that out, I will need aggressive treatment. So I have needed to have CT scan on Tuesday, to check if cancer has spread.
Like most of you, I will need chemo, radiotherapy, endocrine etc. But this will be decided after the CT results are through.
So I think I have enough to cope with, without going through more surgery. But I know I would say differently if I was younger.
I absolutely respect all you ladies who are going through reconstruction. Young or older. Or those of you trying to make choices in a smog of emotions. This is a huge and personal decision. And looking at videos, it is a long and painful journey with no guarantees. My heart goes out to you all. 
I seriously think you are sooo brave and strong.
Would I have my other breast (L) removed if given a ‘choice’? No. Simply because I dont want more pain; More seroma; more drains, more complications; More recovery time. Unless I had more cancer. I am aware if the cancer was hereditary my decision may be different. As it stands no family member has had cancer. Im the first.
I bought a cancer research bamboo mastectomy bra. It is wonderful. Soft. Front fastening. Easy to wear. Only issue was the strap fasteners are prone to slip out, so ive sewn them up and emailed cancer research to encourage them get better ones in time. My NHS softy is not the best, and was given to me within 30 seconds prior to leaving hospital (too rushed) but actually it is fine. I feel it protects my scar and tender seroma area. I was told I could have weighted prosthetics but I couldnt be bothered trying to find a perfect fit. My clothes are loose so noone notices. At my age noone looks either 
.
The only ‘perfect choices’ are those for ourselves only. We are all different, with different needs, wants, feelings, influences. It depends on how we feel in ourselves. The ‘choice’ for reconstruction is always there if we change our minds. I thank the NHS for keeping doors open. Our needs/wants are constantly changing depending on multiple influences.
My only thought would be to….never have surgery for ‘someone else’….it has to be ‘ our decision’ as we have to live with it, go through it, whereas, relationships can change as the years go by. So we must be kind to ourselves. Respect ourselves.
Thinking of all you wonderful ladies. How strong and brave you all are. .
@poppy261 thank you for sharing your journey, tips and your wisdom. Good luck with the CT scan. I hope the seroma clears up soon.
I felt a bit pushed to go down the reconstruction route. Maybe it is fun for the surgeons who knows. I’m a similar age to you and my decision was very much like yours…I want to get on with living life now, not worrying about achieving a cleavage. x
Thanks Jaygo for your kind words.
Yes life is for living.
Lovely to hear about your journey @poppy261 and how strong you’ve been and continue to be. All of this stuff comes as a massive shock doesn’t it. My DCIS area was 9cm when they took it out as opposed to the much smaller area they originally said (I also had an actual tumour which was 2cm) - and my breast was pretty tiny to start with! I couldn’t agree more with your closing sentiment about doing what YOU want and not others. Fortunately for me the only person who wanted me to have reconstruction was the surgeon and as I didn’t know or care about him (apart from that he did a good job of my surgery which to be fair he did!) I was easily able to take no notice of him. At 56 and with small breasts anyway it’s been a long time since anyone was interested in my cleavage . I also completely agree about avoiding unnecessary surgery. I wish you all the very best in your recovery and next steps. Once you get into chemo and targeted therapy and all the rest do use the monthly threads on this forum as you’ll come across some amazingly strong and wonderful women and a really supportive community in your pocket
I’m keeping a very close eye on this thread! 7cm IDC +± with 1 micromets lymph node. Diagnosed last November, had left SMX with SLNB in December 3 weeks after diagnosis. The size meant we didn’t even discuss lumpectomy. I have small-ish size B breasts and I’m 4ft 10 so there’d be nothing left removing a 7cm tumour anyway.
I found out after that that I’m BRCA2+. I told myself that if I only had one removed I’d consider reconstruction, DIEP flap potentially - but that I wouldn’t bother if I had both done. And with the BRCA2+ I’ve already told my surgeon I want the other one removed.
I’m younger than a lot of people here, 33 (34 in a week 
) so I can’t say I’m ‘done’ with mine. Ironically I was diagnosed less than a month after I had a great conversation with a non-binary friend of mine about gender and I affirmed that ‘actually I’m very happy with my boobs’.
I’m mid-way through chemo rn so it’s 6 months or so away, but I am thinking a lot about what to do and I just keep coming back to staying flat. I don’t want complications and extra surgeries, I think I’ll feel paranoid and uncomfortable with a foreign object in my body (I worry a lot about my port getting infected). DIEP flap on both is not an easy surgery. Cancer is difficult and crap, why not make it easier on myself?
I probably benefit from having a loving husband already who is 100% supportive - we both agree that they won’t look or feel the same either way and you don’t get sensation back. I’m also neurodivergent and part of the LGBT community so I know plenty of people who’ve gone flat electively - including my best friend.
The only reason I feel like I should get reconstruction is because I can - it’s an option and the best time for me to do it would be now. I don’t want to regret being ‘lazy’ by choosing flat, maybe I wouldn’t mind reconstruction and it would feel better long term.
So I’m following this thread closely and would love to keep the conversation going, it’s an important decision to make and I have quite a while to make it 
Seeing others perspectives is really helpful.
@demimiray Hi, crikey all these bloody decisions we have to make! I’m glad this thread is a help to you, it started as a few of us on the October chemo chat have now had mastectomies and gone flat so the lovely @Jaygo started this so we could also discuss with other ladies 
I’m so glad she did!
I’m only 3 weeks out of SMX and didn’t get the option to have both, but I’ve already decided if anything happens it will be straight to mastectomy on my remaining boob (I had lumpectomy first followed by mastectomy).
Hope this thread continues to help you lots of love and all the best with the remaining chemo! Xx
@demimiray welcome! I don’t think choosing to go flat is the ‘lazy option’ at all, the only thing that matters is that you are comfortable with your choice x
I had a single mx at the beginning of February, and from the very beginning of my diagnosis I knew I would never have a reconstruction because like you, I don’t want something foreign in my body.
I also had Paget’s disease of the nipple so had to lose that anyway. I felt that together with a lumpectomy that would give me a poor little patchwork boob, and my surgeon admitted it wouldn’t look like my other boob. I didn’t want to look in the mirror and either feel sorry for my boob or worse, hate it. So I felt a clean scar was better for me.
I do think it really helps if you can look at and touch your scar a soon after surgery as possible so that you can make friends with your changed body. I feel very fond of my scar now, and proud of my body. I also think it’s very important to use positive language about our bodies, because I believe negative language does impact psychologically on our self image.
@loupy Thanks 
I think this is a great thread, just seeing the name makes me smile I only get the option because of the BRCA2. It’s interesting comparing this with what I see on places like reddit which are more US based - they’re very keen on DMX over there!
@dilly I think by ‘lazy’ option I am thinking - am I just trying to avoid the stress when actually it’s something I could handle and be better in the long term? But then I consider - even if I am trying to just make things easier, how’s that a bad thing?
If your immediate reaction was to not have reconstruction, then maybe that’s a sign of what to do. I had the same feeling really. I’ve had a good relationship with my scar so far, and haven’t avoided it. I’m rubbish at scar massage though You’re definitely right about positive language and how it impacts self-image.
Someone said on reddit about reconstruction - ‘I don’t build monuments to that which tried to kill me’ and that will live forever in my head it’s so hardcore!!
Hello all !
As some of you know, that the reason i did join this fabulous topic is as a none cancer effected but im still facing the same OP and decision making like so many on here, down to the inherited BRCA1 gene. I was wondering, if some could give a bit more inside on the procedure - as there are so many- and the length of the OP. I will have both my breasts fully removed. No re construction or anything. But they are going to go in one OP.
Someone ( not here on this topic) did meantion, that a double breast OP is- if possible- done by 2 surgeon, to reduce to procedure time ?! Can anyone share info on that ?
Also, is it correct, that IF everything goes well , that you can go home on the same day( depenting on the time of the OP of course) ?
A lot of you mentioned the exercises afterwards… any input on what they are ?
Thankfully it seems, that most of you had a straightforward OP and good recovery and healing. Also the pain threshold after OP seem to surprise most…as in far more doable than first thought…
Thank you so much, for creating this topic and for talking/ writing!!!
Stay strong and brave ! … and be kind to yourselves !
T
My experience is of a single mastectomy, but just before my diagnosis I helped my friend through the initial recovery of a double mastectomy.
I haven’t heard of having two surgeons working at the same time, that’s a new one to me - personally I would want both sides with similar scars if possible. I think having one surgeon would make that easier.
It is definitely possible you can go home the same day, if you’re first on the list for example. My friend and I both had afternoon surgeries so stayed overnight. It’s helpful to have that extra support, I think - getting up for the toilet was a little tricky - but mostly you’ll just want to sleep anyway. I liked having nurses keeping an eye on me.
And yeah the pain was very manageable. They gave me paracetamol and codeine - I used the codeine for about two weeks but having tapered it off to only 1 or 2 a day by the end.
Exercises focused on building up mobility again in your arm/shoulder/chest - slowly stretching it out as your shoulder can’t really go above 90 degrees after surgery. I still do physio 3 months out, but strength focused now. If you google mastectomy physio exercises you’ll see some examples.
Hiya. I had my op at 4pm, was back in recovery at 6pm and home by 10pm, but that was single MX and flat.
Edit. My breast nurse called this afternoon and apparently I had two surgeons working on me, so who knew?
@templar-1310 i had my single MX at 1pm and got home that night about 9pm. It took me ages to come round from the anaesthetic otherwise I think I’d have been home sooner. I believe if you have reconstruction that you’re in hospital for a few days. The exercises are very simple and involve a range of stretching and reaching. Easy to learn and do and takes about 10 mins 3 times a day. I had virtually no pain at all so just took paracetamol for about 5 days then stopped. Numbness is an ongoing issue if they’ve taken lymph nodes out but you get used to it, it’s just nerve damage and it can come back over time. It doesn’t bother me. I was back at the gym and weight training (max of 3kg for 6 weeks!) after a couple of weeks and soon back to full fitness (till I had to start chemo which has put me back of course!). If you’ve any other questions please just ask!
@sam1204 yes I am on day 6 and feeling great. I had a bit of sentinel and they think a couple of lymph nodes taken out but I have really good movement in arm and shoulder. Really knocked the pain killers on the head now as well. I can’t believe how quickly I have recovered!