I had a mastectomy on 1st May. I had a choice but chose a mastectomy as was advised if the lump was removed I might have to go back and have the nipple removed as they were concerned as it was inverted. I also had 2 or 3 nodes removed. I go back for my results on 14th May to see if I have to have further surgery on the nodes. Also I will know if anything else has to be done. I am so so scared and feel so alone. I have a good support network and a brilliant husband but I am the one that is always in control. On the same day I was diagnosed my husband was waiting to go down for an operation on a broken hip. He fell through a roof. I was diagnosed even before the biopsy had been done. I am putting on a brave face but it is so hard. Time normally goes fast but waiting for this appointment seems to be forever. Everyone is amazed at how well I am coping. If only they knew. I have seen by scar and it is scary and makes me feel sick. I am not sure by writing this if I am doing the right thing. Please advise? Evadne
Hi Tess
Welcome to the BCC forums where I am sure you will find the support you are looking for. In addition, please feel free to call our helpliners for further practical and emotional support on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 weekdays and 10-2 Saturdays
I am posting a link to the ‘just diagnosed’ area of the site where you will find information and further support ideas which I hope you will find helpful :
breastcancercare.org.uk/diagnosis
Take care
Lucy BCC
Hi Evadne, I am sorry you are going through all this. I too had a mastectomy back on March 10th. I too have a scar of course, it is not as scary as you think and you soon get used to looking at it. It does get a bit better. Did you have reconstruction?
It is always scary waiting for results, all of us girls on here have been through it, I had all my nodes removed and that has not caused too much of a problem for me either, so if you do have to have this done, dont worry. Silly saying dont worry because of course you will.
Try to stay calm, you will soon have the results.
Val xxx
Good luck with your results today Tess.
I had my mastectomy on Monday. Not feeling too bad - but I think I will get worse as results day looms!
Hi Tess,
The fatigue is so frustrating isn’t it. I went to post a letter today. Walked very slowly for about 20 min and I’ve been completely wiped out since. How do you feel about your results? I guess it’s good that the cancer has gone but would be nice to avoid chemo. That’s the thing I really dread. I get my results on the 26th.
Take care, Ali
Hi everyone, do you ever have a down day when you feel so angry and alone and hurt so much. I don’t understand why I feel this way as all my family and friends are being so supportive. At this moment I just want to get in the car and drive as far away as possible. Trouble is I think I am running away from myself. I am usually so positive and in control. Please let me know that it is normal whatever that is to feel like this.
Tess
Hi Tess,
Thanks for the message. Getting very wobbly as results day looms. Trying to keep positive but also very frustrated that I’m not healing faster. Still swollen and sore from the Mx and not up to doing much - which leaves lots of time for Dark Thoughts.
As a total control freak this is difficult for me! But I will get through it…:smileyhappy:
Ali
Hi Tess,
Well, back from my results appointment and it’s mixed news. They found a 3.5mm invasive bit amongst all the DCIS. Clear margins and no nodes, thank goodness.
Now have to wait for a further test (HER, I think) and for the oncology team to decide whether to recommend chemotherapy or not. So another week’s wait - I shall go mad!
I hope you are doing OK. Thinking of you.
Ali
Hi Tess
I am posting a link to LCIS information and the ‘Understanding your pathology report’ booklet from BCC hope it helps:
breastcancercare.org.uk/upload/pdf/lcis_jun_06_0.pdf
Our helpliners are on hand to talk things through with you on 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9-5 and Sat 10-2 so do feel free to call
Best wishes
Lucy BCC
Hi Tess,
Thanks for your message. I hope you are feeling OK today.
I got the best news this afternoon - no need for chemo. Although the tumour was HER+ the oncologist said it was too small for chemo to be worthwhile. So that is my treatment over. The relief is amazing (I’ve been blubbing on and off since I heard) but also a twinge of guilt for all the lovely ladies on here who haven’t had such good news.
When I was diagnosed I found telling my mum the hardest part - she’s nearly 80 and very active but she has lost 2 close friends to cancer over the years, both at around the age I am now. But she has been fantastic - supportive and helpful without letting me know how worried she’s been (although I can tell). It must be so hard for you coping with your mum when she doesn’t want help.
I’ve become a virtual recluse since I was diagnosed - most of my social life revolves round my business (I’m self employed) so it’s been pretty lonely, but hubby has been brilliant. Now I’ll have to slap on the fake boob and face the world again!
I hope your chemo isn’t too hard and that you come out the other side, fit, well and cancer free. I’ll be following your progress.
Love, Alison
Hi Everyone, Why is it that one minute I am all positive and telling everyone I am fine and doing good. Then like now I feel c…p and just want to cry like a baby. This is not me and it is scary. How can you have so much support yet feel so alone. I am sure some people think it is catching. Time seems to stand still at every stage as it’s always a waiting game. Family and friends have said go for the cold cap when I start my chemo. I had made up my mind not to have it but because of what they said I agreed. I feel I was pressurised. Does anyone have any experience of the cold cap? All I have heard is how unpleasant it is. My oncology nurse told me about the cold cap and then promptly booked me a wig appointment. He did say you can tell after the first treatment if it is going to work. Has anyone had chemo where the nurse sits with you and slowly puts the drugs in manually? I thought it would go through a drip. Wish I knew where my head is at the moment as I’m all over the place. I can’t tell anyone but on here just how much I am hurting and what this is doing to my head. I am really frightened and have done some reading on my cancer types and it can come back. This is such an awful path to follow but I have to do it. I felt so down when I picked my son up from work the other night I could have rammed the car into a brick wall. Now I know that is stupid but I just wanted to get the hurt out. Am I the only one that feels like this sometimes and I am going mad. Please tell me how to get rid of feeling like this as it really scares me. I can cope with anything that happens to anyone else and I am always there for them. When something like this happens to me I am at a loss on what to do. Everyone says I look fab and how strong and brave but they never see what is on the inside. Sorry to be a pain but definitely going through a bad patch and don’t know how to handle it.
Love Tess
xxxx
Thanks Jilly.I had a really calm day yesterday and I thought great things are getting better but today I feel rubbish and scared.guess that’s the nature of it.
Don’t sit in the pond Tess you may get an ASBO!
I know what you mean about the privacy issue I think it’s about having control about who knows about your very personal business, let’s face it you don’t have control over much else in the midst of this.Its like people who hardly know you knowing your husband is having an affair…
Good grief Tess you and your hubby sound like you have had your fair share of calamity this year!I have not met with the surgeon yet but have been told I am having lumpectomy and sentinel node removed to begin with followed by who knows what as yet ,not had full report back from biopsy yet,just know grade 2 invasive cancer 15 mm tumour so far.
Think you need an exclusion zone around you!Calamity Tess …
Have you ever thought of writing a weekly newspaper column" the exploits of Calamity Tess" you have a way with words.
Bet you would have shed a few tears breast cancer or not!I think if you are naked and the neighbours can see you could get a caution for public order offence,maybe wait til it’s dark dont take any chances ,
don’t want you in Court Watch in the local paper…
Thanks. Tess.Keep out of trouble!
Geranium gin sounds just the job!It was my sons birthday this week ,you should have seen the state of the presents I wrapped ,most had sections of whatever was wrapped up sticking out ,used half a roll to wrap up a key ring ,dogs dinner… Actually there is an outside chance I may have wrapped up the dogs dinner…