Tess, you havn’t posted for some time, I do hope all is well, your blog affected me a lot.
I bought my daughter a memory box for her children from here woodenmemoryboxes.co.uk She has filled it with lot of interesting things including audio cd’s. Lovely Idea.
Thinking of you
Hello
As someone who lost her Mum to BC when 8 years old, with only one or two photos and nothing else I applaud you ladies and your presence of mind and foresight. My Mum died many years ago, before video cameras, digital cameras, PCs etc.
I wish for:
voice recording
people’s recollections of her character
funny things SHE said
HER likes and dislikes
information about HER childhood, her schooling, where she lived, her family
photographs
her party dress and shoes
jewellery
things she had touched and loved - handbags, HER favourite items
recipes that she used
things with HER writing on e.g. her autograph book
poetry or books that she liked
HER makeup, nail varnish, sunglasses
keep notes of these things about yourselves so that they can read about where you bought a daft pair of shoes or funky hat or whatever and what made you buy it
books you read, pages you’ve leafed through - pencil notes in the margins or mark out favourite passages
tell them about how childhood was for you and for them
tell them about your struggles
tell them about theirs, as babies/toddlers
I wouldn’t leave anything that is obviously illness related like hospital wristbands or suchlike - that would be crushing
keep menus from taking them out for dinner, write down what they had
keep tickets from special trips
save mementos from holidays etc.
take them to museums and the countryside and the seaside and show them what a good country they live in
Sorry, that’s rather a long list, it can never be enough …
D
Hi Tess
Although i am 30 yrs old, i lost my mum in April this year.
Unfortunately my mum didnt know her time was running out, it happened very quickly!
With me being or assuming that i’m older than your children, i did my own memory book. i started this as soon as my mum was diagnosed with secondary, i had to take pictures secretly because she hated having her photo’s taken, even before she became ill.
Anyway to get to the point, i had nothing to remind properly of my mum, which she had arranged herself.
Just after she died, i was walking around boots, i could smell my mum’s perfume, i stopped this lady in the shop asking what the perfume was, when she told me i asked for this for my birthday. My husband not only got my the perfume, but the body lotion and shower gel, this may sound sad, but you do not understand how this has made me feel being able to smell her. Just for a second i think she is around and that is alot of comfort, other than that i have nothing.
I think you are extremely brave and amazing for what you are doing for your children, and i cant imagine how hard this is for you to do.
I know i may not have given suggestions, but just wanted you to know, i would give anything to have what you are doing for your children.
I hope and pray everything is going well for you xx
Hi,
My mum died from BC 24 years ago.
The things I treasure are the jumper ( obviously don’t wear it!! ) she knitted for me in her last few months.
When I got married I had her wedding ring, so she is always with me.
Her recipe book, written in her hand, I made tomato chutney with my 11 year old this summer and the smell of it cooking took me back years.
I have a tape of her reading a play ( very badly ) and she is laughing so much she can hardly speak.
Kat xx
hi all, i started boxes for my grandkids as i wont see their 18ths i got fairy godmothers for the girls and wizards for the boys each is in a small bag with a lovley printed card saying what they are and and off grandama they realy are lovley…
I think some of the other ladies are absolutely right with the sounds and smells of motherhood - of course you want to put in photos, of you with them, and their family/pets etc etc. I think birthday cards for those ‘special’ dates are lovely, and something I would definitely put in. A hand written letter, specific to each child, saying why that child is SO special to you, of your pride in them, something very individual to each one, so that they can never doubt that you loved them desperately.
However, it is often not our vision that evokes the most memories - smell is SO important - so definitely, if you wear perfume, leave some of that, or even your favourite shower gel/talc… deodorant! They are all the smells that make up ‘mum’. Taste - do they have a favourite meal or cake that you make for them? Leave them the recipe - so they can re-create it as they get older, and ‘know’ that they are making it just like mum did. Hearing - it is so sad when we realise we have forgotten just what someone’s laugh was like - maybe a dvd with you talking and laughing on? Touch - nothing can replace a mother’s hug - but for those days and long nights that may be ahead (although obviously, I hope they are a long, long way off for you!), a small cushion or teddy that has shared your bed, will not only be a soft cuddle, but will still, for a while, retain the smell of mum, too.
I think the jewellery is a lovely idea, and the lock of hair too - I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you right now - but it is very thought provoking… and I think, though my prognosis is good… that my memory boxes perhaps might begin to be filled…
All blessings on you at this terribly difficult time, and all the love in the world is winging its way to you and your family, from me and mine.
Sophie xxx
Your boxes sound lovely Avril. I have not been able to do anything yet…I really must steel myself to leave something. (Although I knit and sew and have made some little fabric hearts for my family and cross stitched little messages on them…so guess I have done something.) My grandmother died 36 years ago and every morning I use her old breadknife which has, I believe, a bakelite handle. I also have a milk jug she used every day. It’s lovely to have these ordinary yet, to me, special things, use them and remember. Sophie yes smells are so evocative. When I think of my grandmother I always recall the smell of fresh baked current buns and bunches of lilac. My Mum always liked Estee Lauder’s ‘Beautiful.’
And remembering Tess, who started this thread and others who contributed at the time…xx
What wonderful ideas. These boxes will become much treasured by your children.
I was 40 when my mum died at 60, ten years ago as the result of a brain tumour. I have lots of memories and she was there for most of the ‘important’ events in my life, so we were very lucky. However, it is the memories that sustain me, not any of the things that she left, and I am sure that will be true for most, even if you .
All of the women who have posted sound like lovely, caring mothers and you will have already created wonderful memories with your children that they will treasure along with the boxes that you create.
Best wishes,
Jacqui
Hello Tess,
So sorry to hear your story, did your Doctors think the operation will be a success?
I lost my mother over a year ago and the thing that brought her right back to me was the smell of her perfume on a scarf I had in a bag I’d kept in my chest of drawers. Just a thought.
Love Myfanwy
P.S. I really hope the operation is a success and you don’t have to worry about a memory box for sometime to come.
Hi myfanwy, sadly Tess died a few months ago. A very inspirational lady.
Tess’s friend Justy posted here, link below.
breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/bikinggirl-t27969.html
just as a idea about memory boxes, i made an index of the things in the boxes and what they ment to me eg who the rings belonged to before me wat certain bits and bobs ive put in ment to certain people
I have been giving this a lot of thought recently. My mother died of cancer when I was 5 and ‘left me nothing’ It has haunted me for the last 35 yeasr.
My absolute priority is to start my daughters box , well ahed of time…i hope. My daughter is 6.
I love some of the ideas I have read of hear. I thought of 2 others lying awake last night.
We recently went of a cruise and had some formal photos taken so I thought I woud leave the photos and posh frocks etc that I was waering in the phots.
Having a cast make of my hand so my daughter can place her hand in mine.
The shop Paperchase have some beautiul album, cards and journals too.
I am very aware that I may be posting this in the wrong section. Please redirect me to the correct on.
I have looked at several memory boxes on the internet and am sure none of them will be big enough!!! 
Ruth
Hi Ruth. It is a while since you posted nd I hope all is well with you. I love your idea of a cast of your hand. How did you go about doing this?
Thank you,
Sadie Xx Xx