Hi all I’m unsure what to put in my boxes obviously pics card little things but I’ve twins of nearly 24 and a 13 yr old one I don’t even want to do them and 2 I don’t want to think about them if that makes sence any ideas wld be welcoming don’t really know where to start as they not babies so not that easy many thanks Laura
Hi Laura
I have 2 boxes one for each son, they are 40 and 38. I have put in christening cards, their 1st birthday cards. Also a few items of jewellry that were left to me by my late parents, also a few momentos from my late husband. I have been doing these boxes for some years now, long before I was diagnosed with B.C.
I am also doing books “journal of a lifetime” they contain pages with a question on each page, where I was born,what they were like as babies, what made me proudest of them, etc etc. It basically tells them all about my life, questions you never ask parents and when they are gone you wished you had. I keep these boxes on a shelf in a wardrobe and just put things in them whenever I come across anything I think they would like. I’m rambling on a bit now but hope this is of some help.
Val pp
Hi there Laura,
I wanted to do a memory box for my two children, mine are 19 and 13, but like you I didn’t know where to start and to be honest where all the little pictures from playschool and nursery are. I can do photos and have done little captions for as many as I can find, as they will not remember , perhaps all the people in the photos.
Sorry can’t help much as I then drew a blank as to what else I could put in there…I have their baby outfits but to be honest, know one apart from me will get it…
Hopefully someone will come up with a more helpful post.
Clare xxx
I did reverse memory boxes (or photo albums) for both my parents when they died (dad 23 years ago and mother 5 years) They kept lots of photos and my mother wrote dates etc on the back of them. I took mother’s memory album to her funeral and everyone loved looking through it.
Clare - maybe you should do something like that for yourself. Something that shows your life as you have experienced it and the people you have met along the way and how important they are. You could put a photo of a snowdrop on the front cover.
Hi thanks I’m sure I’ll get there I’ve googled it so have a few tips Claire maybe we can help each other I’ve heard first clip of hair first tooth hos tags letters etc prob loads when u get started not something u think of but after poor Wendy at weekend i want to start thanks everyone Laura
Golly, I feel for you needing to think about this.
A friend of a friend who died just before Christmas, and whose children were in their twenties, wrote them each a letter to go in their memory boxes. Others I know have have put in letters/cards for future significant dates (e.g. 18th birthday) though that may seem too mawkish.
I think whatever you decide will be right… in the meantime sharing laughter and love and making memories is what truly matters.
Hi Laura
I too have thought about this since my secondary dx 4 years ago but have to admit I’ve not got round to it. My daughters are young adults and I know it is very different and difficult when your children are much younger and many don’t have those memories for themselves yet.
There are some threads on here, probably in the archive section now, as I know there were several ladies a year or so ago discussing memory boxes and what to put in them, it may be worth a search? Particularly as they were/are in the same situation as us.
Nicky x
Hi
I was dx with secondaries last September and have started to just put some little things in, my daughter is 3, so i’ve put a necklace for her 16th, a paper from the day she was born, i’ve bought a book which i can read and record (so she can hear my voice. Hope that is of some help
Jo
Hi laura64
Sorry to but in on your thread but just wanted to mention you might find some information and ideas for memory boxes on the Winston’s Wish website. If you would like to have a look a this, the link to the website is:-
winstonswish.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100020019&pagetitle=Dealing+with+serious+illness
Hope this is helpful.
Best wishes Sam, BCC Facilitator
Here’s the thread:
share.breastcancercare.org.uk/forum/memory-boxes-how-much-is-enough–t22549.html
I’m not doing memory boxes as such, but I am giving small things now to my 4 young grandchildren. Also I want to make audio recordings of myself reading poems such as those in “When we were Very Young” by A.A.Milne, so they - and any future grandchildren - can hear my voice, maybe on CD. I asked Winston’s Wish, and to my surprise they don’t offer this facility. It could be done with a computer/microphone, but my local youth centre has a sound-studio project so I’ll probably get it done there.
Hi
I remember from the previous threads on memory boxes that ladies who had lost their parent/s at a young, or any, age did miss the sound of their voice as much as anything. This is something I would like to do, even record something via the pc so they do have something to hear as well as see.
Nicky x
Hi Laura
Have you thought about keeping a blog? My kids are 12 and 14 and I have SBC with mets to liver, lung and bone, hence I probably won’t live as long a life as I had planned!
You can easily keep a private blog through Google. Fristly you sign up to igoogle and then you will see there is a blog tag. You can alter the privacy settings so no-one else can see it. I usually try to write something most days and there is the facility to upload photos, video and link to other things. So for example, I know that there are films my daughter would love, so I can link to a youtube clip of it etc
My husband knows that I’m doing this and have written down the address and password so they can access it after I’m gone. You just have to make sure that you get the privacy settings right (easy) so that no-one can access it or even know its there until you want them to.
Laurie x
Just a thought- My Mum died over 50 years ago when I was nine. I love to see her writing, somehow it brings her close and I would love to be able to listen to her voice or see her on a video. We did have old movies but due to their age and not being stored properly they disintegrated long ago. Most of her friends have died now but there is one who is 94 and will still tell me stories about her.
So writing by hand, video and voice would top my list of what to put in. I’ve started for my two children.
I agree, my mum died 20 years ago of secondaries from bc. I love to see her writing on the back of a picture, to have her views, what she thought about things. Even - if it isn’t too upsetting to do - letters to be opened at various milestones in life like 18s, 21st, wedding day, birth of first child which say how you felt on those occasions yourself and how proud you were of your children and will be watching over them in particular on those days.
Most of all though, I have very little visual or audio memory of my mother. Video was less common and has degraded, so a video diary maybe, or recording of your voice. My mum could sing, and I would dearly love to hear her singing, she was no concert artist but it is one of the sounds I miss. And smells, such as her favourite perfume, lipstick and so on. I admit I used to sniff her clothes for comfort. Maybe, even depending on age a teddybear doused in perfume to cuddle in sad moments?
I would have loved to have such things but appreciate how upsetting it would be to go through the process of putting them together. When my time comes I promise myself I will create memory boxes, however old my family is xxx
At the end of each day i write a few things down that make the day special. Usually a smile, hug, achievement etc. I hope this will bring back happy memories for DD nd DS. I also write on theatre tickets, birthday cards, school reports etc about the event nd how i remember sharing it with them. I hope i will keep filling the boxes up and up, but dont want to run out of time. Wendys death has reminded me of this!
Sadie Xx Xx
Hi ladies, I must say I feel very emotional reading your posts about memory boxes. I have secondary in spine and re- reocurrance on mastectomy scar. I have a daughter 25 and son 23. We spend lots of time talking so they know lots about me. I have started a blog, its a public one nostage5.blogspot.com/ please take a look and give me your comments. But I also think its a brilliant idea to do a private one and it is very easy to add video and photos to them.
Hi twinkle toes, I’ve just sent you a private message, best wishes. x
Thank you Belinda, I have replied.
Take care x
Twinkle toes I have just read your blog…it puts into words that which so many of us think. Thank you for sharing . I was deeply touched by your honesty and self knowledge
Cackles
Thank you Twinkle toes for your insights.
I relate to many of your issues not through BC (I am hopefully n.e.d.)but through deep depression. I am trying so hard to recognise the positives within and take courage from your blog that I may find them in due time…
Thank you.