message for gingersmurf?
message for gingersmurf? Hi ging,
you have become unusually quiet, hope you are ok, thinking about you, keep your planning up!
claire
Hiya Hi Claire
Hope you are okay and thanks for asking after me
I’m fine. I’ve been a bit down to be honest. Wasn’t able to see some friends last week as they were stowed off at work, weather didn’t help either! I seem to have good weeks and bad weeks. Got a few things planned for this week though.
Boyfriend is loaded with cold so desperately trying to avoid it by taking multivitamins and vitamin C. It’s working so far. I know my next op isn’t until 5 July but have to go in on 4 July. But if I get a cold it can last a couple of weeks as I end up with a hacking cough and sometimes it goes on my chest. I work with students as does my boyfriend so I deffo can’t go into work at the mo as they bring all sorts in but my bloke is still going in. So doing everything possible to avoid germs!
I think it’s also the realisation that chemo is getting closer and on Friday I’m going to Headstrong to get some info on scarves etc and buy a couple of hair poeces maybes. Also next Monday I have decided to go for the chop and go from just past shoulder length mane to crop in preparation. I’m dreading it. Have picked out a nice style from a magazine though.
Still keep bursting into tears about things, I thought I was past that. I saw the District Nurse last week and we had a chat. I had never met her before but she was lovely and had me in tears bless her. But a lot of what she said was really helpful.
Also bored and have asked work if I can be given some kind of project I can work on in between chemo cocktails. Feel as though I’m losing touch with that side of things and don’t want to return to work cold as I have strated to forget some of my role already!!
I am thinking that depending on how many chemo cocktails I have to have and radiotherapy then tamoxifen that when I’m due to return to work in possibly January next year I might ask to go part time and re-evaluate my life and balance things more if I can. Tamoxifen sounds as though it plays havoc so not sure the position I hold would be sustainable as I could end up having good days and bad days and it might not be such a good idea to remain in a management position. I could be a liability and not be so effective I don’t know.
I think I’m starting to do too much thinking and worrying about stuff that hasn’t happened yet. Must admit not looking at the forum too much at the mo as I think some of the stories are winding me up and making me worry more so I need to concentrate on what’s going on with me and not think oh that’s happened to that person it might happen to me.
Anyway, don’t worry I’m fine just feeling a bit vulnerable at the mo
Hels x
understandable! Hi Ging
I know how you feel believe me!
I know that some days you feel invincible and then something inside you switches off and you can only see black, I seem to swing from one extreme to the other and I am not facing chemo at the mo.
I had a feeling that you had swung down, I can meet you, I am also off and at a loose end, agree with you about too much use of these forums, too many possibilities we could have lived happier not knowing, so I have set my sewing room back up, used to make art quilts, haven’t since I went full time, I’m going to sew instead of searching and freaking myself out! I have made a promise to myself not to go internet searching again, will come on to check you out!
meet up!!
claire, thinking of you