Message for Sparkler

Hi Fiona

I see that you are a Paediatric Nurse - me too. Would be interested to find out how your phased return went - and getting used to being responsible for the whole ward.
I am presenlty non-clinical so that I can work during rads (mangers have been fab). But concerned about remembereing stuff - used to have a fab memory but since chemo - it is shot. Worried too about mistakes or forgetting things.

Please take care, love

Anne x

Hi Anne

Sorry I didnt see your post before tonight - someone else I yap too pointed it out to me.

I too planned to work through rads, clinical but reduced hours - but 1 week into it my mum died so I just took the month of rads off. Thats me now been back to work for 3 weeks now. I normally do 12 hour shifts so we are just building up. This coming week its two 12 and 1 half shift then week after three 12 hour shifts then that will be me back to normal. I have not been responsible for ward yet as I have been supernumery. We have also not had a busy shift when I have been on so cant really comment about that.

I know what you mean about the memory thing - my memory is awful now - I will just have to write everything down. I do worry about making mistakes too - but maybe because we are aware of it we will be double checking ourselves more?

Where abouts do you work and what kind of ward? I am in Aberdeen in the high dependency unit.

How far into your rads are you?

Take care for now
Love
Fiona
xx

Hi Fiona

Thanks for the reply.
I am so sorry to hear about your mum. How are you managing now? BC is hard enough to get your head around - not alone having to deal with the emotions of your mum dying.
I work on a General Paediatric Unit - which has 32 beds - we take everything including 2 HDU beds and oncology. We tend to be very busy most of the time. I live in Surrey.
I have only just started rads - so will have to see how things go.
Really enjoy my job and have really missed it - will never complain again!!! about busy shifts!!!
I am really lucky - I am non-clinical until rads finished - then supernummary for a couple of shifts - just to make sure I can manage the long shifts. Ours are usually 12.5 hours long - so want to sure I can manage them.
I used to Ward Manage 6 years ago - so have been really lucky that I am used to the paperwork - and hopefully I will be able to support the current Manager. Quite enjoy some aspects of paperwork -although clinical is much better.

Let me know how your increase in hours go - I expect you will be really tired for several weeks to come.

Please take care, love

Anne

Hi Anne

Nice to hear from you again. Like me, it sounds like you have a lot of experience - so I would expect nothing less than your management supporting you. My management too were very good. I live alone with my daughter (she spends half time with her dad and half with me), so was worried about going onto half pay after 6 months sick. Work were very good and I went back non clinical a few months into my chemo on a very part time basis - but they kind of 'fiddled the books ’ if you like and called it a kind of rehab programme - so I managed to extend my sick time a bit with going back like this which was a weight of my mind.

I dont really know how I am after mum dying. To be honest with you I dont think I have started grieving yet - there was so much going on and in my head at the time and apart from the initial tears when she died (dad and I were lucky enough to be there with her), and the funeral, I have not really cried. I am now seeing a therapist - have my 3rd session this week - so its early days but am hoping this will help. 2 years ago my daughter was seriously ill in intensive care, and I have always been someone to just ‘get on with it’ and not talk about my feelings - so with the cancer - having mastectomy etc, then mum - I really need to sort my head out and reinvent the way I handle things. What she says makes a lot of sense so I am hoping I continue going (think I will).

Anyway, enough of all that. As you can see the last 2 years have been more than a bit stressful (add into that dad having heart failure twice!!). When my rads finished 3 weeks ago, I said that day was the start of my new life. I know I am never going to be the same but am going to learn how to handle things better and talk. I also turn 40 in 25 days time - so gonna use that as a positive turning point - even tho I still have genetics to see and reconstruction in the future - the worst is past!! I am not usually a positive thinker either but surely thats the end of bad things for me??

How many hours are you doing whilst doing your rads? I think you may need more than just a couple of shifts supernummary when you go back to clinical - you dont want to feel pressured and give yourself more stress.

Anyway, good luck for the rest of your rads.
Keep in touch and take care
Love
Fiona
xx