might be paranoid but still going to have another check up

Public Archive
1

Hi Everyone,

I really need you all to be a sounding board as to what is reasonable and unreasonable behaviour.

I am 32 years old and I have always been particular about checking my breasts. Kind of end up doing it everyday in the shower. I am about to have my third clinical breast exam with the local gp in three months.

As a teenager i suffered from eczema and have a scar on my areola as a result of it. I have kept a close eye on the scar which is about one inch long and bumpy. I also have two other small bumps (2mm to 3mm)emerge on my areola which look like mongomery glands but can’t be sure. They disappear when i am not cold but the scar doesn’t.

I have taken two opinions from two different GPs at my surgery. I have booked in a third one. Is this unreasonable? Should i go for a mammogram?

I just keep thinking about the scar and bumps all day.

Thanks,

Mehreen

2

Hi Mehreen,

Please go back to your GP and ask for a mammogramme, this way it will put your mind to rest.

Good luck

Sarah X

3

Really? Ok.

Mainly for my peace of mind? Or do you think there is something weird going on.

Mehreen

4

I think for peace of mind you should have it done,

5

Don’t underestimate peace of mind! If a mamogram is going to give you that it’s worth the effort. And if it does show something suspicious at least it’s the first step to sorting it! is there a history of BC in the family? Good luck x

6

Hi to both of you

Thanks so much for replying so quickly.

Yes I think it may give me peace of mind. So I will discuss this with my GP.

The thing is I have to balance my concerns with the fact that over the past couple of years I have been suffering from a mixture of Health Anxiety and General Anxiety Disorder. I had rather difficult and traumatic childhood has resulted in this. So I am on a rather slippery slope mental / physical health slope. I think I have been struggly for years (but I won’t mention anything else as this is a specific forum for specific issue)

Love to both of you.

Regards,

Mehreen

7

As someone who has suffered from extreme clinical depression for 40 odd years now, I probably know where you’re coming from on that front. Unfortunately I don’t think a mammogram will put your mind at ease. I suspect if the GPs can be persuaded to get one for you. you’ll have it, it will be clear, and then you’ll be doubting it and wanting another. It’s like that for so many of us ladies who’ve had breast cancer.

I’d suggest you need some therapy - whether that be talking chemical or whatever. I don’t think your underlying problem is breast related, it’s just revealing itself in that form for now. Next month it may be something different.

I don’t wish to seem harsh and I’ve tried to bear in mind the ethos of this forum of kindness, you’re just getting an honest opinion from someone with underlying mental issues (who’s had BC) herself.

8

I’ll also add that I went to the docs about a lump in my right breast, which ended up being a normal cyst, but they did however, find i had BC in my left breast. I had no symptons, no lump, no pain, no difference at all, the consultant says i wouldn’t have left a lump for maybe another year! So am just thankful i went to get checked out.

Good luck

Sarah X

9

Dear Broomsticklady,

Thank you for your advice - and I don’t think you are harsh at all. I think kindness is an important quality but for a person with my background honesty is crucial as well.

I am taking therapy, I started taking it last month. It gradually beginning to make a dent in the way i think and I am making an effort to be a person with normal concerns not hyper-alerted concerns. My GP thinks that is the right attitude and feels if I have any queries i should go see her.

Do you think I should continue with therapy and go in every 2-3 months to see my GP in terms of a clinical breast exam. Or is a mammogram still the answer?

I would love honest advice from you as it seems you have been through this as well.

10

Hi

I don’t know if this will help, but I think the type of cancer that presents with eczema usually affects 1 breast only and doesn’t respond to treatment - I maybe wrong but you seem to indicate that your eczema was childhood eczema which has left the scarring so hopefully everything will be OK.

If you’ll get peace of mind by having a mammogram then yes ask for one (as others have said)

It might be worth you ringing the helpline as they are very reassuring and supportive (and knowledgable).

Lots of love

Sandy

11

Oh dear - I replied earlier and it got lost. I’ll try and remember what I said!!

Therapy isn’t an instant answer to anxiety / depression. It works well for some people and not so for others. I had several CBT courses and other talking therapies and I can honestly say the opnly one which struck a chord and therefore worked with me was CAT (cognitive analytical therapy), which I was having when I was diagnosed with BC. Even then at the end of that I was ‘only’ at the stage of being equipped with some tools for when I felt able to put them into practice.

Medication can help - for years I took prozac (fluoxetine) which kept me reasonably under control most of the time. My dose varied but finally I got to the stage where it wasn’t holdiing me any longer and the psychiatrist changed me to duloxetine. I’m now taking (with his advice) 90mg of that a day, when the normal max dose is 60. but it works for me.

Have a mammogram if you can get one - but don’t be surprised if the surgery refuse on the grounds it’s not essential / justified / more likely to do harm than good. Personally I’d prefer a manual check from someone experienced - this is how my BC was found - it didn’t show up on mammo but was found manually as I think a fair few ladies on here have said elsewhere.

Many will disagree with me here I suspect but having been thru a pretty foul journey with BC - surgery, 15/20 nodes affected, chemo, septicemia from Hickman, abcess on gall bladder caused by septicemia causing emergency removal and more hospitalisation, then unknown infections also put down to sepsis and even more hospitalisation, plus about 3 or 4 stone weight loss as result of this lot, I’d still sooner have cancer than full blown depression and anxiety - I say full blown, not the ‘gosh I feel a bit upset today - I’m depressed’ type of depression.

12

Dear Broomsticklady,

Thank you very much for coming back to me. I am currently taking a CBT course with the therapist. I have good days and I have bad days. I think its a long term thing which i need to keep on working at. I agree there is nothing quite as heavy as depression and anxiety.

I have a feeling they will turn down my request for a mammogram what i will do is follow your advice. I will ask an experienced nurse at our gp surgery or at a breast clinic to check me. I think i have an excellent GP surgery and they hear me out but they keep saying come back to us each month if you have to and we can do a thorough breast examination but for a mammogram we would have to see something very unusual on the nipple and areola area.

The two bumps as i said are about 2mm to 3mm soft and movable. The scar is an old scar. I have been checking for nipple discharge, dimpling, retraction, and I haven’t had itching or a rash there. So hopefully i am thorough. I will have to trust the gp i guess and keep checking and just see if I can get a mammogram.

Even as i type this email i know i will be working from home as i feel a dark cloud descend on me. Its not a physical sensation this one is a mental one.

13

Dear Sandy,

Thank you for replying to me.

You are correct in assuming that I had a horrible case of weeping childhood, adolescent and early adulthood eczema and then it disappeared. I would scratch myself like mad every where including both breasts. But left breast had a big wet itchy spot which formed into a lumpy scar.

I have checked with two gps and I will have a third check up on wednesday and I think at the end of the day i will have to trust the GPs as i have a very decent relationship with the two i see.

I will try and see if i can get an ultrasound or a mammogram. Do you think that sounds decent?

Thanks,

Mehreen

14

Okay guys, went to GP and she checked it and said that there is nothing to worry about the little bumps and the scar is an old one.

I asked her if i could get a mammogram or biopsy done. She said no.

I said is it worth getting an ultrasound done? She said yes that oould be done.

So shall I settle for an ultrasound?

15

Go for an ultrasound - my tumour showed that way but not on mammogram. But in the first place it was a nurse who suspected something amiss from her examination.

Good luck with your CBT

Nina

16

Theres only one person who knows your body and thats you if you are not happy with yourself insist on a mamogram im sure it will give you a peice of mind its your life go for it!

17

Hi to both of you.

I will go for an ultrasound and then see what comes up.

I know one of you mentioned that an ultrasound picked up your tumour but what did your nurse find amiss?

Thanks,

Mehreen

18

Thing is Elaine,

I am not sure if I am happy or not happy, I have two little bumps on the nipple which two GPs have said are fine and an old scar. There is nothing fresh or new.

But the little bumps are soft one appeared two years ago and one three months ago. The scar has been there for 15 years or more.

Furthermore, as I mentioned to the ladies on this forum, I suffer from a kind of health anxiety. So for me it has to be a careful balance.

So really i don’t know. Is it enough to trust your GP?

19

Hi,

I hope you don’t mind me dipping into your thread…but I was dx with BC 4 years ago and have also suffered with anxiety over many years. I am now traing to be a counsellor so have a little knowledge on CBT etc.

I think that you are not going to belive or trust anyone at the moment. You are in a state of fear that can only be broken by changing your way of thinking, as in CBT. I’m sure you know this but I will just reinforce the way your head is working…you have negative automatic thoughts…which cause all sorts of physical and behavioural symptoms…which then reinforce your negative thinking. You need to break that circle and only you can do that…it won’t matter how reassuring a GP is or good results from an ultrasound or mammogram, you are always going to think…what if they are wrong, missed something…etc. This does you no good whatsoever as I’m sure you know so I would ask you to try and put some faith in your drs.
Rationalise it to think that they see many patients who present with various lumps and bumbs on their breasts and they are far more likely to be right than wrong. Then you have to work at the CBT because your quality of life could be so much better if you can control the negative thoughts. You need to try and see your therapist and talk this through…it will take a huge amount of work but it will be worth it.
As someone else said, at the moment you are focusing on BC, next month it will be something else and if you learn how to control your thinking, this could stop…life will be far more enjoyable for you.

Sheana

20

Hi Sheana,

Thanks so much for sending me this email. I am not sure how to contact you outside this forum but as my only link with you and the kind lady who told me about her CBT experience is this forum this is where i will have to mention this.

In addition, to my concern for my breasts I have also felt the following in the last three months and have no idea what to make of it. As can be seen most of them are gone now but some ‘symptoms’ remain:

fatigue and lightheadedness (gone),depersonalisation (gone), derealisation (gone,) pins and needles in limbs (gone),itching (gone)
creepy crawly sensation (gone), insomnia ( gone), bad nightmares (they have gotten less but they still take place), dry skin (still there), depression (especially so after i went off the pill), frequent urination (gone), thirsty (gone), lump in throat - globus hystericus (less but happens from time to time), sore chin and teeth (gone), three bruises on thigh (disappeared in a week), more campbell de morgan spots appearing on skin (doctor said it happens with age), nausea (mostly gone), mild headaches (sometimes)
dry cough (from time to time), aches and pains in arms and legs (is this dangerous and these were worse before my periods),Pulse passing through legs (sometimes), I sometimes feel but my husband and doctor say i don’t (generally i feel this symptom is gone); I generally have a low body tempreture (36.2 - 36.5), restlessness (still there)
pelvic pain (mid cycle), lower back pain (mid cycle), abdominal pain.

Its after three months of this that i finally decided to join the forum.

I am now onto my fourth CBT session with a wonderful therapist so we will see how that goes.

I think you are right i need to work with my therapist on this. But i registered withthis forum because i am genuinely concerned about the breast issue.

I am going to put my trust into the GP and while i will have an ultra sound after christmas right now for the next two to three weeks maybe even four I will concentrate on the CBT sessions and see what i can learn.

What do you think about this?