Hi everyone.Was in bed tonight at 8.20 as I’m such a miserable wretch at the moment.I don’t want to do anything…am finding that when I’m at home I only want to be in bed-thus the early night otherwise I have to be out walking.I’ve had two walks today- so glad I’m able to walk for longer now.Long for company but too bloody miserable to cope with it:)Actually what I want is the wail my loss on someone’s shoulder but there’s no one except my children and mums should be strong for their children, not the other way round.My friends can’t help me as they have no personal experience.I just miss my dad so much.I’m so upset that I’d only just finished treatment for my cancers and then he got ill and died…I wanted a happy year of recovery and days out all together.I know we don’t get what we want and life isn’t fair, also that he was ready to go and be with mum but I still want him here.Four weeks since the funeral and I’m worse than ever, even bursting into tears cleaning my employers bath!Would just like some physical comfort but there’s no one for that job.My best friend has terminal cancer so can’t burden her.Thanks for allowing the melt down, lovely ladies 
x
Treeze
I am sending you a lovely squidgy hug xxx Sorry that I can only offer you a virtual shoulder to wail on but it is there anyway, as it is with us all for you mate. This as you know is a safe lovely place where you can just let go and we will be there to support you
Have you thought about having some bereavement counselling? It might help to have someone to talk to, it is very early days yet in your grieving for your dad which you are doing whilst recovering from your cancer. Try and take some comfort in that he is where he wanted to be, with your mum, but he is always there with you in your heart and memories xxx
Helena xxxx
Thank you Ladybowler…I appreciate that.Just seem to got into a bit of a fug.Everything accumulated with dad and aches and pains plus I have two mouth abscesses and lots of expensive dental treatment coming up.Just feel like it’s all coming apart at the seams a bit! Xx
Helena that’s why I need…a kick up the bum! You’re so right…we are still here.I seem to do better when I’m dealing with real crises than when I’m plodding along and thinking is this it now.I’m sure I’ll get out of this mindframe soon.x
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Thank you both.I am active…I’m back working and do 20 hours a week, 12 of which is cleaning and I walk and exercise and eat loads of fruit and fish.I’m on my feet and up and down stairs all morning at work as well as walking to and from work as I don’t drive.Just an underlying sadness.
Hi all. Just joining in to send some virtual hugs. I’m a bit fed up today so now feel a bit self-indulgent reading about others feeling low too! Keeping our throughts and emotions under control through this process is one of the hardest things. My husband has been getting snapped at a bit this past week!
Take care all xx