he’s not the most jolly of people at the best of times-but not spoke all day-hostile silence-then revealed tonight that i’ve no idea the pressure he’s under at work !!! mmmm-radiotherapy tomorrow !!
would a hug help? Tuck it behind your ear for later if you’d prefer.
I’ll also send warm vibes when i’m being zapped in radiotherapy tomorrow. Sometimes they have noooooo idea.
Men!!! Cld he just be worried my oh very sim but I know he be there if needed
have gratefully accepted the hug thank-you-sky2sea-do you know what laura64-i think he’s forgot !!! bless !! grrhh x
I’ve spent all eve on the loo chemo belly I’ve swollen feet and can hardly walk my hands are numb got in bed my oh moaning he’s hip hurt well my arse hurts so that makes us even men
Ethel, I hope your rads goes well for you today. I’ve just finished mine.
As for grumpy-pants, maybe he’s feeling like he could do with a hug too, so if you ask if you can give him a hug you can ask if he’ll give you one too because YOU’RE also going through tough times. Sharing your tough times rather than resenting each other for them can help you both. Then again, he might not be a particularly huggy person… I have to ask mine for hugs, which are sometimes rather begrudgingly given (but still given all the same). Give it a go and see if it makes you feel better, and if it makes HIM feel better having you asking if you can give him a hug he might figure out that you like hugs too?
My OH has offered more than once to go into the chemo suite on my behalf so I didn’t have to go. He offered to have his nodes out too!
They feel our pain too…Give the man a hug!
Hi,
I have to be careful how I put this, I am not saying that what any of us have been and are going through isnt anything to serious so to speak, but,
I have found the further I got into my treatment, the worse I felt, etc,etc, the cancer treatment just seemed to take over me, I couldnt think of anything else apart from what I was feeling and how I felt, every comment I took to heart, even daft adverts on the telly would start me off,
I suppose what I am trying to say is because other people arent physically feeling what we are going through its not that they forget, its a bit like someone saying to you they have a headache, you dont so it doesnt mean that much to you,
There is other stuff still going on around you, but all you can seem to think of is yourself, I dont mean that nastily just trying to explain (not very well)
eventually when the treatment is over and you start feeling something like normal again, you can and will start thinking about other things once more,
for the time being stay focused on what you to need to in order to get through it all,
x Liz x
aw thanx for all your comments-i am ok-am used to my hubby after 38 years and know he doesn’t mean anything-but he is always a half empty glass sort of person-i actually don’t mention anything about the bc to him-apart from the first day i was diagnosed-as he doesn’t “like” it-lol-and i just get on with it-no weeping and wailing etc (except for when he’s gone to bed-then i get it off my chest on here-thank you x )have taken some sick leave and he’s now taken to calling me “scrounger” as a “joke”- ! last nights commment was-you’ve not really got any side effects from the radiotherapy have you-i said-“no-i’m doing great-just tired-his response"i’m more tired than you-i work 6 days a week”-my response-"when the radiologist asks me how i’m doing i’ll say ok-tired but not as much as my husband " ha ha. p.s. he is not a hug person ! have a good day everyone -stella
Stella, yours and mine are probably from the same mould - I simply don’t talk to mine about symptoms etc, just mutter under my breath when things are bothering me, and usually met with a witicism (which is often JUST what is needed to get me out of my misery).
LOVE your comment to the radiographer, that must have caused lots of laughter!
I have to say, I’d rather have my grumpy pants man than someone who wrapped me in cotton wool and stopped me from doing things. (Might be nice if he did the teeniest bit of mollycoddling once in a while but you can’t have everything, and he does the hug thing at the really important times.)
Stella - I see what you mean, when you’re in a lot of pain and you’re fed up, if your OH says he has something wrong which is probably pretty insignificant, it can be annoying.
I can tell with my OH when something is up and if I ask he says “Oh, nothing” and I say “I’ve been with you 10 years, spit it out, it’s not a competition, obviously if it was I would win” and then he’s said whats up and I’ve given him a hug and called him “brave little soldier” and we’ve had a laugh.
I dont’ want him thinking he can’t tell me sh*t things at work or moan if he has a headache etc, as long as he’s supportive and gives me hugs when I’m having a hard time, which he has. It’s hard on partners too, feeling helpless, feeling like they can’t say anything right, feeling the financial pinch, worrying too about losing you etc.
I think was elizabeth said is fairly spot on.
But when someone is moaning about a headache when you’re ar*e is in tatters and you’ve been yelling for hours on the loo, you do want to strangle them - you’re only human - ha ha xxx
well folks-my hubby has redeemed himself-just given me a bottle of his ice cold beer as i said i was thirsty-now that is from the heart lol-have a good nights sleep all x
Well praises be! You know they love you when they do that 
Actions speak louder than words!
Dx
He loves you - PROOF!
yes-he’s not a bad old stick lol-x
Better than his last Rolo!
(Do they still make Rolos??)
don’t know about rolos but there is a rolo dessert which is scrummy x
Ooh, I’ll look out for that!