mistakes....mistakes...mistakes

Hi

I was DX in july 2008. I had a double mast no chemo but hormone therapy and am on it until 2013. Just recently in work with my personal stresses of cancer and its after effects i have been making a few mistakes in work. My boss and supervisor are completly un supportive and say that i should try to forget in work and work is work which i agree but also think that its hard. I am starting to think that i am being slightly pushed out of work. I know that i should try harder but i also find it difficult to give 100 pecent focus and i am really struggeling. I feel as stressed sometimnes with work of what i was when i was diagnosed. I have been looking everywhere for a new job but with this current climate its really difficult! Does anyone know if im covered and if my employer should go easyer on me because of the cancer? I really cant cope with this much longer!

Many Thanks

Emily

Hi mairead,

I’m so sorry you are having such a rotten time at work. I’m afraid I don’t have any answers for you but I do believe that employers are expected to try to help their employees to adapt to work these days, did they give you a phased return to work or any other support? I hope that someone who knows more about these things will come on and give you some advice soon.Have you spoken to Mac nurse or called BCC helpline, are you a union rep,perhaps they could help.

Hope you get some help soon, I do sympathise as I was retired on health grounds due to clinical depression (before bc dx)so I know how stressful and miserable bad work experience can be.

Take care of yourself, love Julie

Hi Emily,

I’m really sorry that you are struggling.

I don’t know what you do and so our areas of work may be very different. I have managed a number of teams and managers and have dealt with many personnel issues and hearings over the years. If you would like to PM me with more detail I am more than happy to PM. I really don’t want to sound too “managerish” but I hoped that my perspective might help.

Can I suggest that the first thing you do is give yourself a pat on the back for managing to be at work and for being dedicated to a job where you are not being treated very well.

A managers job is to support you to achieve your duties and to ensure that you can work at your best.

I think the first thing I would suggest would be some counselling where you can be supported in a confidential environment to examine what the problem is, why you are distracted, why you are feeling stress and where you can also look at how you are being treated and how this is affecting you. Your workplace may have a free counselling service or alternatively your GP or Macmillan should be able to organise it for you. Once you know where the problem lies you can work to find out what support you need from your employer.

I feel from what you have said that you are simply being told work harder and concentrate. This is ludicrous by placing you under more stress your supervisor and manager are simply increasing your pressure which will undoubtedly cause more worry and for you to be more distracted.

As we all know BC is EXCEPTIONALLY stressful. My own experience of stress is that during the period of stress I tend to cope admirably. People comment on how well I am doing etc. but then when everything is back to normal and I should be fine I collapse in a big heap and am immensely stressed and unable to cope. Whilst I would not want to project my own behaviour onto you I simply want to point out that the fact that your diagnosis etc and ops were some time ago doesn’t necessarily mean that you have resolved your feelings or stress from this time and it might be that you still need to work through that before you can move on and recover.

Breast cancer is covered under the Disability Discrimination Act and if you google it you will find a mountain of imformation on what this means for you and your employer. Macmillan also do a great leaflet called something like Cancer in the Workplace, this might be enlightening reading for your employer!! It might also give you an opening to discussing things if you feel able to.

Your workplace will undoubtedly have policies on whether you are able to have an advocate. This could be a union representative or the policy may allow for it to be someone else. This can sometimes be very helpful as you can have someone to represent you without being emotionally involved in what is happening.

I hope this all helps and I haven’t rambled on too long if I can be of anymore help just PM me.

Good luck Joxx

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I read this post when it first came up and smiled ruefully - now it’s had 2 ‘manager’ type comments I can’t resist joining in / hijacking.

I too suffer from clinincal depression and have for years. Generally pretty well controlled but my husband had a heart attack in 06 and while I coped for 3 months til I knew he was Ok, after that I lost it and broke down big style. After about 15 months I wanted to try work again, at this time it had been identified I had a lot of problems in an office environment and the psychiatrist recommended I work from home - I’m a programmer, I work for the lady in a blackcloak, and a lot of our work is outsourced to India anyway, so I and my union rep (a great friend fortunately already) thought this shuoldn’t present too much problem. How wrong could we be!

Having been signed back in the August, they finally agreed working from home in the December and I started in the february. It was tough at first but I got there and got up to my 35 hours a week. In fact I was more productive than people in the office cos once I started I was ‘at it’ non stop without distractions - other than the cats who might disrupt this typing!! I wasn’t supported by management however - they said I wasn’t doing work according to my grade and wanted to demote me, which we resisted, and were doing so when I was dx’ed in Mar 09. I wanted to work as long as I could before things got hard, both for financial reasons and cos it kept me distracted by working so didn’t get signed off (other than for 2 weeks while in hospital for WLE and node clearance). Things came to a head when the HR partner of all people wanted to call me into the office for a meeting about my grade - the week I was due to start chemo!! At this point I gave up and was signed off.

No further contact from employer after my GP gave me a sick line UFN last September. I had a few complications, septicemia, gall bladder emergency removal, 10 days hospitalisation for unknown infection, out of control diabetes (sugar 35+) - plus of course the delights of chemo, and so didn’t finish active treatment til end Jan this year and I was pretty frail - stuck in a wheelchair as I had no strength. About this time, I got a request to allow OHS to contact my medics for a report. Didn’t have a problem with this - until I saw the request! They only asked about my depression - they knew of my cancer but it wasn’t mentioned in their request for info, just a status update on my depression!! The GP answered mainly about that (as it was what he was asked about) but did ‘mention!’ my cancer and other problems too.

Roll on end August - financially and health wise it was right to try and go back - from home. The union guys had been in negotiations regarding my likely RTW so it was no surprise - but when my fit line said RTW from home as reasonable adjustment, the black cloak lady she say no can do!!

Now in limbo land, regarding pay, return to work, everything. You can imagine the effect it’s having on my depression - I was very proud to have held together as I did during the last year or so, but now am reduced to days in bed unable to do anything - no fun. I wouldn’t have the strength to deal with this myself - I’d just resign and probably slit my wrists or something - but fortunately the union are handling things for me, which helps some, but being a control freak, I get frustrated by not knowing everything that goes on as it happens. One of the interesting but depressing things raised yesterday is there is little if any ‘case law’ on the new fit lines which means we may end up being trail blazers - to help others in future maybe but not much immediate help to me!

I spose the point of this essay is to get it off my chest a bit. Also to point out that unfortunately even in big organisations HR OHS and line management don’t always do as they should.

My sincere sympathy to Emily - I understand exactly where you’re at and all I can do is say hang on in there, and take the good advice given by the manager ladies above.

Nina

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thank you everyone so much for the advice and beleive me its greatly appreciated. I have copied and pasted your comments. Unfortunately we dont have a union at our place but sure as hell need one!! I think the next thing to do will be HR. I didnt have a review or an occupational health visit on my return. I didnt have a phased return either!!! I feel because I actually had cancer 2 yrs ago they make me feel that sometimes I play on it or am a hypercondriac. I came off Zoladex after just under 2 yrs as i suffered terrible side effects and depression, when i came off it i had a really bad day and was being sick, i was tired so initially booked half a day off then got half way through the morning and needed to go home so i took the day off sick. The next day when i came back into work my manager got me into her office and basically said that i should know they have supported me in the past but i shouldnt take the mick with my sick days. She wasnt very nice. I called my BC nurse and she said that i should report her and this was probably to do with coming off the zoladex, but would have been her word against mine if she denied it. She is also married to one of the directors so makes it extremely hard to do anything abouit her formally, i feel so trapped! i dont really want to go off sick with stress as i dont want to take a step back! i cant beleive i worry so much about work when to be honest, i may have not been here and alive today so who the hell are they to make me feel like this, it makes me so angry!

Again many many thanks for your advise and ill let you all know the outcome!

Emily xxxxxxxx

Hi Emily,

The fact that there is no Union where you work doesn’t mean there isn’t one out there for you. What do you do?

Joxx

Hi Emily

I am sorry to read that you are having such a hard time at work, please call the BCC helpline for further support and information on 0808 800 6000 weekdays 9- and Sat 9-2. We have published guidelines called EMPLOY for employers and employees which you may find useful to take into your place of work, just follow this link to read/order a copy or our helpliners can send you a copy:

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/financial-and-practical-support/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/25/

breastcancercare.org.uk/healthcare-professionals/publications/financial-and-practical-support/*/changeTemplate/PublicationDisplay/publicationId/26/

Best wishes
Lucy

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