Hi All,
Feel so down and Im sure I aint half way through all of this yet, let alone start! My birthday 2morow…and my first oncologist appointment!!! ;-( Although Im sure from my last questions/threads with you guys im getting my treatment plan. Thing being…me and my OH have just been away to North wales and ive had the best time ever…didnt want it to end…as we should have been in Sorrento!!! didnt want to come home today becasue i know this is the next phase… top and bottom is Im so frightened about the next phase…Im terrified of the feeling like s*it after chemo, the bandana phase becasue im usually the peacock in the park and really confident and it will be a case of weekends just hiding away because i dont want people to look at me! Im so fed up, wish i could just hide away!
For all you brave girls out there, hugs to you all.
Lynne.x
Hi Lynne, luckily i didn’t have to have chemo, but you need a response and yes, some days are good and some days are bad, but hey, we’re still here and hopefully will be for a long time to come. just take each day as it comes, don’t expect too much, then you won’t feel too disappointed, and make sure you get plenty of quality time with people who really matter, honest, that makes life so much easier
lots of love
Alison
Hi Alison,
I know - I guess I know the answers to my own questions…
Im just terrified in all honesty, I know I should just take each day as it comes, the other guys have said that too…just really fed up, I guess when I go 2morow it will be all mapped out. I know reading other threads/discussions on hear Im a bit luckier than some and I truly pray for others I just wish I could see the future not just for me but all!!
Thanks for your lovely words.
Lynne.x
Hi Lynne, the best way i can describe whats happened to me is going to hell and struggling to find my way back, the worst of it for me is that i have never felt ill, ok, sore and mutilated by surgery but not ill, thats been the hardest for me, and losing control, but i will get back one day soon i hope
lots of love
Alison xxxxxx
Hi Lynne
Your allowed to be terrified!
I was diagnosed on my birthday, not a happy day if truth be known. There is never a good day to be having treatment,
I just wish you well. Every stage as it comes to beat this.
Take care
Love Maggie
Hi Lynne
I was terrified before I had my DX, terrified of all the scan results and then terrified before my 1st chemo…now almost 3 weeks ago. I feel less terrified now because I know we are doing something and kind of know what to expect from the chemo…let me try and reassure you it was not as bad as I imagined.
The chemo unit was a really happy, noisy, buzzing place, not depressing and quiet as I imagined. It was all over in 2 hours and I didn’t feel ill until the next day. I had 2 days in bed then OK after that. My hair is starting to shed a bit now, but I did use the cold cap and I think that is helping it ‘hang on’ a bit longer. I get very upset about losing my hair and can’t imagine I will want to go out either - like you I am a very confident and bubbly person and I feel like that has been taken away. I’m sure we will not hide away though - we must be stronger than that!
I know exactly how you feel about not wanting to come back and face reality, we went to Majorca just before my first Onc appointment, and it was the pits coming home…but honestly I now feel better knowing that we are attacking this bloody cancer.
Wishing you well for your appointment, take care
Hugs
Ali
x
Hi All,
Well next Wednesday(15th Aug) is my first session… im really not too sure how I feel, quite sad in a way because although I know its going to help me I just know the losing of the hair will be horrendous. I have been told I am getting 6 months worth of EC, apparently they dont use the F one anymore so its just EC for me. Then 4 weeks of Rads and maybe tablets after as I am a little PR positive.
Im trying to be upbeat and positive however the glass was and always is half empty with me. the losing of the hair is gonna be horrendous…I just want to run away from everyone at the minute - I think I would like to run away whilst on my treatment and return looking like the good old Lynne that I am now!
You guys are really supportive and Im sorry to be so negative all the time, really am.
I wish you all well and hope your all ok.
Love Lynne.x
Hi Lynne
I know I can say this now, but things will fly by and before you know it your hair will be on its way back.
I felt exactly like you especially when I had my first FEC, as you feel as if you are just waiting for it to happen.
2 weeks after my first session, my hair started coming out on clumps, I left it a few days and then I asked my hubby to shave it off.
It was the hardest decision I have had to make and I won’t lie, it did upset me and i cried, but after a while, it got easier.
I thing the worst thing is waiting for it to happen!!
I finished chemo on 26th of June and already I have a slight covering, not enough to go out with nothing on, but it has lifted me to know its started to grow again.
Keep your pecker up, and HONESTLY you will look back in 6 months and wonder where time has gone!!!
Take care
Angie
xx
Hi Angie,
Thanks for your message - I hate being so negative all the time! I am so pleased your starting to get your hair back! I was wondering how long it takes to grow back so Im guessing a good three months before you can go out without covering?
Hi Lynne
My oncologist said I should have a covering by xmas, so I hope it keeps growing as quickly as it has.
xx
Do they do cold cap Lynne? If they do then give it a go. I am still hanging on to my hair, it is shedding a bit, just a few strands here and there, but I have been 3 weeks since last one…most people who had FEC lost theirs after 2 weeks. I might just be delaying the inevitable though…but I am going to persevere if it means it just thins and I can wear a baseball cap or something I figure that will be better.
Take care and don’t apologise about moaning and being negative, that’s why we come here!!
Ali
x
Hiya Lynne
I’m just over halfway with my chemo and just wanted to say to you that its NOT all bad. I was lucky to have someone come to my home to sort out a wig, and the one I use is marvellous. Must admit got a few funky ones off ebay for parties etc that cause a laugh. During chemo I have had a holiday to Spain, admitted I have the week after a session to myself, resting when necessary, but after that its two weeks of back to normal, which includes everything as before (including alcohol!!)
Like everyone says, take each day as it comes, and take time to treat yourself (lots) - but it is doable - promise.
Cheers
Anne x
Hello Lynne
I also was petrified at the thought of my hair falling out. In fact to be honest it freaked me out more than all of the operations etc I had to endure. But now 2 months down the line it doesn,t bother me so much. Sure I get days when I look in the mirror and think “oh bum” but generally I actually “forget” about it.
I had a horrible incident when I first started wearing a scarf. I was in a supermarket and I heard a young lad say “Do you think she tells fortunes?” I turned around and saw 3 lads of about 14 years old sniggering. I said “Excuse me?” and one of the lads pointed to my head and then said “Do you do predictions?” I took a deep breath and said “Yes I do - I predict that when my chemo is finished my hair will grow back. AND I also predict that you will grow up to be a bigger pr*ck than you are now”. With that I scooped up my change and flounced out of the supermarket (before they could see the tears in my eyes). Anything after that seemed like a breeze!! LOL
AslansMum
Hi Lynne,
I am hearing you loud and clear! Totally understand how you are feeling right now 'cause I was EXACTLY the same before I started chemo in May (I’m on E-CMF). The hair loss thing bothered me more than words can say. I am 35, and although not at all wrapped up in my appearance, I do always like to take good care of my skin and hair and have previously spent a small fortune on hair products, cuts and colours.
I had v.long hair pre-bc and chose to get it cut short before I had my mastectomy as I knew it would be easier to manage in hosp. This in itself was tough and a pretty sad moment as I wasn’t doing it through choice. Anyway, after we got home from my first Epi I got my OH to shave it off to a No3 for me. My scalp got v.v.sore and my hair eventually came out 2 days after my 2nd Epi, which was 2 weeks after my first treatment as I had accelerated Epi. The day it came out was my boyfriends birthday and I was determined not to cry but all my best intentions soon went out the window! It was prob my lowest day, I was gutted, and I prob cried all day. I could not even bear to look at myself in a mirror!! Anwyay, I am pleased to say that thankfully those feelings were VERY short lived and I got used to my baldie white head surprisingly quickly.
Just think how quickly you will be able to get ready with no hair straightening and stuff! And think how much money you will save over the next few months on hair cuts, colours and products! It is hard to see the positives about this right now, I know, but believe me you will. Personally I have compensated for my lack of hair by spending a small fortune on skin care products and make-up! You should see my dressing table now, OH is not impressed! LOL!! I spend ages doing my make-up and stuff now and always make sure I am looking as best I can. I have 2 lovely wigs but I have only worn them a handful of times. I am definately very much a scarf girl! I feel much happier wearing scarves than I do in a wig. I understand that not everyone likes doing this as it is an obvious sign to the world that you are poorly, but it really doesn’t bother me at all. I only wish I had the balls to go out ‘commando’ as so many other ladies do.
Well, I have now started my CMF and am pleased to say that my hair has now started to grow back and I have been assured that I should have a nice little covering by Christmas. So, as tough as it is gonna be for you, please remember that it is not permanent and it will soon grow back.
I wish you well for your first chemo session next weds. You are in good company as I am off for my day 8 CMF on that day, so I will certainly be thinking of you.
Take care and be sure to keep in touch,
Kelly
-x-
Dear Lynne
I second everything said above. I was really upset about losing my hair, but I have a couple of lovely wigs and people who don’t know at work, don’t even know I’ve lost my hair and compliment me on my “haircut”. I used the cold cap which unfortunately did not work for me and I lost most of my hair 2 weeks after the first chemo.
I feel a little “unusual” for a few days after chemo but am usually OK, but have to make sure I’m looking after myself relatively well. I’m still working most weeks, just take the weekend after my chemo (which is on a Friday) and the following Monday. I think I may get more tired days but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I hope it all goes well for you.
Cecelia. x
Hi Ladies,
Kelly - what a day for your hair to come out, however I am sure your OH was understanding…and I know what you mean about products etc.lol
I guess on the plus side, my hair is quite short/spiky so im guessing it wont take that long to grow back. I am going to try the cold cap and hopefully pray to god it works. I dont want to wear a wig, so I think I will go for the bandana look. I guess I had it all planned in my head of 6 months chemo(bald) then 4 weeks Rads then a few month later hair back and bobs your uncle so to speak. I am guessing I should start looking for bandanas now then if my treatment starts next wednesday!!
Why do I hear a few of you ladies talk about CMF as I am only going to get EC?
Also, what about drinking alchol whilst recieving treatment, are you allowed as I am quite partial to a nightcap…
Another Question - with me getting bc does this mean my two older sisters (36 & 41) should arrange to be screened?
Thanks all of you, you guys give me a lift ya know that.
I
Lynne.x
Hi Lynne
My onc told me nothing was off bounds including alcohol although you may feel your taste buds don’t fancy it.
Good luck with your treatment. I had number 5 of 6 FEC yesterday so can now see light at the end of the tunnel.
Get those bandanas and scarves and enjoy experimenting. I have become very fond of buffs - very easy to use
Sharon x
Dear Lynne
I have been following this thread and think you and your sisters may find our factsheet called ‘Familial breast cancer’ helpful to read as it will provide you with the facts about breast cancer which runs in families and where to go for further advice.
You can read it via the following link:
breastcancercare.org.uk/docs/familial_breast_cancer_updated_may_06_0.pdf
I hope you do find this helpful.
Kind regards
Sam
Moderator
Breast Cancer Care
Hi Moderator,
Thank you for the link, I have found it very interesting.
Regards
Lynne
Hi Lynne,
one of the first questions I asked my onc was would I be able to drink alcohol! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an alchy or anything, but I do like a little tipple every now and then (well, quite regularly if truth be told!!). Anyway, I was advised to avoid alcohol for the first 48 hrs after each treatment but after that anything goes really, whatever takes my fancy (ooeerr!).
To be honest I never really feel like alcohol for the first few days anyway and it tends to be about a week before I have a drink, Word of warning though,my fav tipples before I started chemo (I’m on E-CMF) were ‘strongbow’ and any wine, particularly rose and sparkling. Well, the bl**dy epi played havoc with my taste buds and I could no longer stand any wine at all or cider!! Oh the horror, I was gutted!!! I found that I suddenly loved alcopops, particularly blue wkd, which was weird as I had never really been that fussed on it before. I’m also big into ‘bucks fizz’ these days too, and at about £1.50 a bottle I’m not complaining!!
I have now switched to CMF and tried Strongbow for the first time in ages the other day. It still doesn’t taste quite as good as it did before I started treatment but its defo more palatable than when I was on Epi. So, I guess I’ll keep on trying it in the hope that some day soon it’ll taste just as lovely as it always used to!
We are all on different chemo regimes here Lynne. Some of us are on E-CMF and others are on things like FEC or TAC or Taxotere and all manner of other combinations. Don’t be worrying, your onc will know whats the right one for you,
Take care,
Kelly
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