You’re in what I called the gathering information phase. You have an investigation and then those results determine what happens next. To me I felt like I was a snowball rolling down a hill and as they garnered more information the snowball got bigger and gathered pace. It felt full on. I had a lot of appointments for tests and with the Breast Care Team. It all felt quick and fast but also time dragged waiting. I too worked through this phase as I found the distraction helpful.
With a potential cancer diagnosis there are target times for information to be relayed and treatment to start. As such we are allocated those ‘urgent’ appointments rather than ‘routine’ slots. There’s no cause for alarm, it’s how the pathway should work.
Somehow we navigate our way through it all. It was 9 months yesterday that I told my adult children that I had breast cancer. The time since then has felt like a hazy dream. It was another 8 weeks after that of more tests before starting treatment. For me, that period of time was the hardest. The unknown, the waiting and the need for more investigations as more information about the cancer revealed itself was exhausting. As was updating people. Once the plan was in place it felt like the snowball had stopped. It was a relief and I felt more in control. I started treatment, whilst tough at times it did feel easier to bear.
Thank you @jolm for your advice and words of support. I’m sorry you had to go through having to give everyone the news but I’m sure your family and friends will be there with you every step of the way xxx
Thank you @mrsjelly for going through your experience with me. It just seems like the wait from biopsy to now felt like an eternity and now things are suddenly moving I feel a bit anxious all of a sudden. I’ve been a bit numb - think I’ve only cried once since the biopsy and being told to prepare for a cancer diagnosis. Now it’s starting to feel real xx
I feel the same. Sometimes family and friends can be there, but there not going through it the same. Its nice to have people around we can ask questions of and such.
MRI wasnt too bad. They give you ear plugs and head phones, bit of music, closed my eyes and tried to sing songs and watch snippets of films in my head aha.
@jolm thanks, me too. Had another cry today, everything is feeling more real and trying to sort out plans I have in sept. Going to watch Moulin Rouge the musical and Ive been looking forward to it since I booked it. Now worrying about going while potentially having started chemo.
Im glad your feeling a little lighter having told people. I think its just nice being able to chat to people, like you said no secrets and feeling like you cant bring it up. Quite a few people know about my diagnosis. I live in a pub so its going to become a bit of public knowledge sooner or later anyway.
Hi ladies. Hope you all had a nice bank holiday weekend and tried to enjoy some time with family!
I had my MRI yesterday and my appointment with the hospital today. Sadly it wasn’t the news I had hoped for but have at least planned for. I have Grade 2 IDC ER+ HER2- It is now 34mm and due to my small breasts, I will be having a mastectomy. Not sure yet whether I will need chemo and/or radio. Will know once tumour is removed and tested. They are also doing genetics testing due to my age. Have a meeting with the plastic surgeon on Tuesday to discuss reconstruction options and they hope for surgery within the next 4-5 weeks. Although lymph nodes still appear clear on MRi, they are going to remove some and send off for testing just to sure.
Oh @shell86 I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s really not the news any of us want to hear & we all know just how you are feeling. Even though you think you have prepared yourself for the news, it is still a huge shock & difficult to take in. Telling loved ones is so hard, I’ve just spent the weekend breaking my news to my family & closest friends & it’s absolutely draining. Saying the words is hard enough but then dealing with other people’s emotions is really tough. Having just told my grown up kids, I really feel for you & am thinking of you. Sending lots of love & hugs x
Sorry you’ve had a weekend filled with all of that! I told my brother earlier and he broke down bless him. You’re right, it’s exhausting and I still have a couple more people I need to break the news to.
Thank you for your lovely words of support. I love how supportive you all are it really feels like a community of warriors
Honestly this forum of amazing women is such a lifeline. We can properly vent, say what we feel & share our fears and experiences with people who genuinely understand, without worrying our loved ones. It’s been such a huge help for me & I’m glad it’s a comfort to you too xx
How are you doing @molly.m? It’s hard isn’t it, you think you have a handle on it then have a really tough & emotional day. I’ve been on a bit of a downer today, I guess it’s just going to be like that for a while especially when treatment is imminent & you’re trying to prepare for that. Thinking of you & sending love xx
Hi lovely ladies. Sorry @shell86 just seen you had posted here aswell. Once again I’m so sorry its been confirmed. I hope your appointment next week goes ok. Im also waiting on the blood test results, mine will tell me if I’m having a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Also worried because it will tell me if theres a chance the gene has passed down to my daughter. As if there isnt already a lot of worry flying around.
How are you both feeling today. I had a nice weekend. We had a charity fund raiser here at the pub my partner runs. My little miss had her own little stall which I ended up running while she got her hair done and went on the bouncy castle aha. Back in work now and got a lovely card off my colleagues.
Phone call from Christies yesterday to let me know they have my chemo referral and I should hear back in the next day or so. I just want to get started now. I feel like its growing even more everyday and just want it gone.
My wigs came on monday, and with a little styling they should be ok I think.
I had a call from the nurse today, I have an appointment with my oncologist on the 11th Sept. Bloods first then discuss my chemo plan. Then she said they try to start the chemo the following week. So the 3 week countdown is on. I’m quite happy with how its fallen because the appointment is in the morning in Manchester and in the afternoon Id be there anyway to watch Moulin Rouge I was getting worried I wouldn’t be able to go
That’s good that you now have the start of your plan and you can make your trip to the theatre too. I do believe having things to look forward to help us feel more in control and give a great mental distraction. I’ve got 3 weeks now to my radiotherapy planning session and then a further 3 weeks till I start the treatment. I’ve got a family trip in between that I booked before my diagnosis and I’m so looking forward to getting away and seeing the sea! Have a good weekend x
It does doesn’t it. It feels like im not in limbo anymore, no longer waiting to hear things and now I can enjoy the inbetween as much as I can in all of this. I only had 2 things planned this year really and there both within a week of each other this next month. Oh that sounds lovely. I hope you have a fabulous time, how long are you away for?
Thank you for the update @molly.m glad you have a date now and you can start to plan. And yayyyy to Moulin Rogue
I am off on a bottomless brunch with my girls today. Was supposed to be in a few weeks but they’re brought it forward as I will likely be prepping for surgery around then. I have a feeling that all of my emotions may finally come out after a few cocktails
I saw my GP on Thursday as I have been struggling to sleep this last couple of weeks. Got some sleeping tablets and have the best 2 nights sleep. Was just what I needed! Also I am now 3 days Vape free. Since official diagnosis, I threw the vape in the bin that night as my reconstructive surgeon is strict regarding nicotine and issues with blood vessels in surgery when doing recon. It’s been rough but taking each day at a time.
Dealing with nail damage during chemo can be really challenging. It’s a side effect that many people don’t expect, but it’s important to know you’re not alone in it.
The advice in this thread about keeping your nails short and moisturized is great. I also recommend speaking with your oncology team about it. They might have specific creams or treatments that can help. This community is a fantastic place to find support, so please keep reaching out as you navigate this journey.
Hello @shell86 . I hope you had a lovely day out with the girls and I’m glad youve managed some good nights sleep. I havent slept well with all this either. Feel tired all the time now. Aha getting in practice for when chemo starts.
Think I’m going to be worrying a little more now tho. My daughter has to have a scan on a swollen lymph node on her neck. The doctor thinks its just a recurrence of tonsillitis which is causing it but wants to check because its been longer than 6 weeks… and breathe… the universe is really testing my mind at the moment aha
Hi, you are definitely having a tough time. I hope your daughter recovers quickly and you can do some nice things together. I’m treating myself to a pedicure today, all these small things help! Take care x
Hey lovely ladies. Just thought I would check in with you all as have been thinking of you
@jolm have you heard anymore following your additional biopsies you had done?
@molly.m hope you are enjoying this ‘inbetween’ time but sorry to hear about your daughters swollen lymph node. Glad they are keeping an eye on it though!
@whiterabbit83 keeping everything crossed you have a date booked in for your results soon
@amafoss65 yes they do, I’m treating myself to some nice things to do during chemo aha I wonder if Im allowed to paint ha. Hope you had a lovely time. And thanks. Her scan is booked in the day before my appointment. Trying not to think about it too much
@shell86 thanks, yeah so am I, and there quick about it too. Fingers crossed. How are you doing ?
I have my oncology appointment tomorrow, so hopefully a start date will soon come. Also good news on my daughter, the ultrasound was fine and showed that her lymph node is just sitting above her muscle because of her tonsillitis at the beginning of August. I cried when they said she fine.
it really feels like a community of warriors 
I was getting worried I wouldn’t be able to go
