mood swings
mood swings I have started this thread for new user zoe.
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Breast Cancer Care
Hi i have just had my mum round for xmas,we live far apart so the last time i saw her was sept.She has had 6 months of chemo this year followed by 6 weeks of radio her treatment was very intensive and very stong,but all seems sucessfull.she is now suffering from unbelievable mood swing and depression.you could actually she the mood swings happening from being quite talkative to going silent and sitting down with a look of despair accross her face.I have to say she did spoil my xmas as i was constantly worring about mum being happy.It was my daughters first xmas as well so it should have been a good one.Are these mood swings norm dad says they are because of the chemo.has anyone else had family members with them.I dont want to sound insentive towards my mum but I thought we should have been celebrating her being well again and my daughters 1st xmas.I also feel she has become very selfish after having all the attention for most of the year and now its all back to norm the attention has gone she asumes people will do stuff for her.please give me some advise and guidence.
hi I have read your post three times and i can understand that you wanted a special xmas because it was your little girls first one, of course you did…but!!!
you’re mom has been through a terrible year and whereas you think its all ‘back to normal’ it isn’t for your mom, and bad enough having a cancer diagnosis,then we have to go through months of chemo and feeling so poorly then the radio therapy, which for some people causes the most awful tiredness and lathargie …my feelings are that although you say you don’t want to sound insensitive,maybe you are expecting too much and that in itself may be contributing to your mom’s depression…in her place I would feel that the lack of understanding from a daughter to be worse than off a husband…
Depression in itself is an illness regardless of the whys and where fores…and as you haven’t seen your mom since Sept its not actually as if you have been at your mom’s beck and call so maybe she needed some signs off you that you love her and care, maybe you have understandably been so busy being a new mom
your mom has felt left out…
I don’t want to sound to harsh, I am inexactly the same position as you and your mom, but its my son’s wife who has treated me as if i have a ‘cold’…,it beggers belief …
so I am in a good position to answer your questions…
please try to be a little kinder, in you attitude and remember that your mom does understand how it is with a new baby,etc…but thankfully you don’t know how it feels to be in her position…
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grover2889
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thank you for your reply.I feel that i probably expressed myself poorly in my first post.Neither I or mum drive and live 150 miles apart.I have spoken to my mum every day throughout her treatment gone up when poss,i have given all the support i feel possible.I will never understand what she has been through unless it happens to me,i dont want to sound harsh or unkind.I have told her websites to go to for help or support but she feel its not her thing.I now realise the heeling will take alot longer than i thought…I tell her i love her.Once when i tried to hug her she lashed out at me.But yet shes up a 5am every morn to help out at my brothers shop,which surely is too much.I have been there every step of the way from being told her diagnosis to her starting and fin her treatment.I dont know what else i can do.i have bought the mr murray cd for her i hope that will help but when she tried hypnotherapy at the hosiptal she thought it was a load of rubbish.I know gifts are know replacment for love i just want to help her get better i dont know what she wants from me.she wont say just keeps it inside.I hope i,m not a bad daughter or insensitive to her i love her so much.
Your Mum has come face to face with her mortality and it has floored her- temporarily. Given time to come to terms and finding that she’s still surviving will deal with her prob. Till then she’s not being selfish- she’s shattered and lost. Nothing can be done about it until it sorts itself. Be patient, dilly
chemo effects of Im in the middle of chemo myself and can tell you that it can utterly destroy you as a person and maybe your mum has not got it all out of her system yet. We just had our worst Xmas ever despite me trying as hard as I could and I know sometimes my daughters think I am not trying at all when I am absolutely wearing myself out not just to shake and cry. Your mum may be suffering form post treatment depression too and it sounds as if she is a proud lady and one who is difficult to help so I am not sure you will be able to get her to the GP or listen to the tapes but you are at least trying. I am sure she is trying even if it does not feel like it. Life is a journey but when cancer steps in it takes you off down a side track you just do not have any control over and do not know where it will lead and for many of us the absolute loss of control over our own lives and choices is fairly devastating. I keep telling my girls, who are only 17 and 12 that I love them and that I am still here but I can understand that actually they often feel they have lost me completely and I may never come back adn I am certainly not much fun any more. Jsut doing the washing takes it out of me completely so raising a smile is just one energy cell I do not have at present…
Hope things improve soon all round. Caro