I’ve been reading posts on this forum since my diagnosis 3 weeks ago but this is the first time I’ve actually posted anything - the first time I’ve ever posted anything on any forum in fact! I had a recall after my first routine mammogram and after an ultrasound and biopsy they confirmed lobular cancer (grade 2) and some DCIS in one breast. I then had an MRI ( which i absolutely hated - I was such a baby!) to see how big an area was affected then an appointment today to discuss results/ possible treatment etc. The MRI showed up other areas of concern including in the other breast and I now have to have further ultrasound and probably another biopsy on Thursday. I was so shaken by this as can’t stand this long period of not properly knowing how bad it is. The diagnosis phase seems to go on and on. I guess it’s good to look at every possible area of concern so that They know the whole situation before they start treatment but it feels like I’m never going to get to the treatment bit. I just feel so scared and low again tonight and worried about work - I have a big stressful job. I need to get my head back in order so I can cope. I’m not very good when I haven’t got a plan! Oh I also had to stop my HRt straight away as its hormone responsive so menopause symptoms have gone a bit haywire which hasn’t helped. I know there are many of you with the same frustrations - I already feel a bit better writing this - even if it does sound like one big moan! Can anyone offer anything to chivvy me a long a bit so I can get a grip and get through to Thursday? Em x
I can’t offer you a magic wand, although I wish I could. All I can do is to reassure you that you are certainly not alone. I have had lots of ups and downs since my diagnosis at the end of October, including being referred for an MRI guided biopsy which once the radiologist saw my original MRI he decided it didn’t need doing, just a repeat MRI in 6 months. My surgery should have taken place last Friday, but was cancelled due to the biopsy that’s not now happening! Still awaiting a new date. I worked for the first few weeks after diagnosis as I felt it was a therapy, a time when I could just be me, and not me with cancer. However, I had a major meltdown last week and my husband took matters out of my hand and went and told my boss that I needed some time to come to terms with the diagnosis for the sake of my emotional wellbeing.
I have found this this forum to be a lifeline; there’s always someone here to either listen to your worries or share their experiences.
will be thinking of you on Thursday.
Jane
Hello Em,
It’s the absolute pits waiting for results, tests etc., as everyone on here will agree. I know how hard it is and how anxious and afraid you will be feeling. Unfortunately as you know these delays are quite normal and are the hardest part of the process. There is nothing to do but wait and it’s no good me telling you not to worry as I know you will, but as soon as you know what your treatment plan is you will feel a lot calmer and more in control. You may not believe this is possible - I certainly didn’t when others told me but I did! Try to keep yourself busy and look after yourself. The time will pass and worrying won’t make it go faster. Your doctors will be busy planning your treatment and soon you will be out the other side. I have finished active treatment now and sometimes I almost feel as if it all happened to someone else. You will be o.k. Come and talk on here when you need to - we will listen. Sending you a hug xx Lily
hi em,
Not moaning at all! this is always the worst bit so it is quite normal to feel like this. It does get much better once the treatment plan is in place, which will be soon.
As you say, although its difficult, they do need to get to the bottom of what’s going on so that you get the best treatment plan. I remember telling myself that when I was going through MRI & so on earlier this year.
This uncertainty is the pits, but it will move on.
take care
ann x
Hi em from another em xx
I’m also like you, have ducal carcinoma in one breast and have a suspicious right side which I have another biopsy for on Friday. I’m lucky that I have an op date though.
The waiting is the pits. you will feel better when you have a treatment plan, I also didn’t belive I would but I did lol!
This forum has been a HUGE support to me, keep coming back, we will all be here xxxx
Hi Em,
I know exactly how you feel - I have been told I have bc but I don’t know what it is as yet. My appointment is at 2.15pm this afternoon, where I was told they will tell me my treatment plan. I’m sitting at work at the moment trying to concentrate - which is not easy. This forum has been a lifeline for me and last night I read all the stories in the Hope Section, it made me feel a lot better.
Thank you everyone for your support. It is so nice to communicate with people who really get it. Not that I would want any of you to be in this position where you do get it! I’ve been into work today - hard to function - but I did it. I just can’t believe how exhausting it all is! I do think that I will feel better when I have a treatment plan and we can really get going on attacking this thing. It is good to hear people saying that it gets better when you know what’s happening. I’m so glad this forum’s here and will definitely get more involved with it now xx
Em 67 will be thinking of you tomorrow. Just remember you’re not alone in this journey, we are all with you in one way or another. This forum is really good for support, advice and others’ experiences and I really feel that we are all here for each other.
jane X
Hi Em, I hope everything went o.k. today.
Thank you ladies - felt quite tearful when I saw the support from you. Am really seeing how great this forum is. I didn’t post anything while I was waiting yesterday as went sort of numb. Just sort of felt I had to see through the wait and try to think of other things. We all know that’s impossible though!. Had the ultrasound and a biopsy on the right side. The radiologist confirmed the two areas of lobular cancer in the left measure 6.5 cm across and she and BN said it would be a mastectomy but everything will be confirmed next week. Results of biopsy on right will be back ready for the MD meeting next Wednesday so I should get my treatment plan next Thursday. Looks like op won’t be until after Christmas so need to be prepared for quite a bit more waiting. Don’t know about chemo yet. Will have hormone treatment but again don’t know when until next Thursday. They were really good today about explaining the MRI, talking me through the images etc. So I feel at least I have a bit more knowledge even though I have to get used to the idea of the mastectomy and it’s pretty horrible seeing the invasion on the screen! It’s weird how your mind works though. I thought I wouldn’t be able to cope with the thought of a mastectomy but I just want it all out of my body - whatever that takes. Need to write some lists and keep busy for the next week xx
Em, it’s good to hear that you are one step nearer & feeling a little bit better.
I will be having a mastectomy, if my scan is clear on Sunday, I actually requested a double mastectomy as I just wanted my breast off so that nothing more could invade them. But the consultant managed to convince me to only have the one off at the moment. People outside of this forum, in the other world, must think me mad to be happy to disfigure myself, but they don’t understand the fear that drives us.
Lots of hugs and best wishes.
Hahaha - My niece who is 24, mis-read one of my posts on fb and thought we were having slides on our winter bbq - I said to her that as much as I love slides I would end up going over the side, having only one breast.
Oh my goodness … you just made me cry (again). I think you must have got your diagnosis around the same time as mine. Mine too is grade 2 (I can’t say that word). There was no need for extra scans for me so I’ve moved along the line (emotional rollercoaster) a little faster. I was and still am totally petrified, although more calmer. No amount of words make it any better. I guess you just have to trust everyone.
regards work. I gave up my high powered job years ago but now work as a swimming teacher/coach. (My hobby and passion - and they pay me too). Due to the risk of infection I stopped work immediately. My job is being held open for me and I can use all the facilities at the leisure centre. I still get to see people I work with but that’s not the same. I’m not sure I would make that same decision now. I felt even more isolated. I guess you need to tell them and they will make any provisions to help you. You could reduce your hours or even change to a less stressful area within your workplace.
i think despite my initial reservations the forum is a godsend, even if you just read the posts (which is what I mostly do)
not it sure if that helps but rest assured there is no bigger wuss or drama queen than me!!! Xx
Hi Em - how are you?
Hi Em, I’m so pleased you are having a better day. I hope you have a lovely day with your Mum and Dad.
I had a bit of a wobbly this morning, I received the letter from the hospital confirming that I had invasive carcinoma grade 3. It just confirmed what I already knew, but seeing it in black & white took my breath away for a moment and I had to sit down.
Now, I have stuffed it in my handbag and am just waiting for hubby to come home so that we can get the tree out the loft.
I intend to work as much as I can through all of it and even from home if I’m up to it. I have to remind myself that I’m o.k. at the moment and even though I just want to sit for hours and read this forum, I have things to do - lol.
Hi Em, when the kids were little, I was more than happy to sit colouring with them and found it very relaxing. I bought my sixteen year old an adult colouring book for Christmas and as you colour it reveals swear words - lol.
I did get my tree done and all my decorations are up, gonna wrap all the pressies this afternoon.
Have a lovely day today.
Hi Em 67 … I am the same diagnosis as you … grade 2 lobular … I’m having mastectomy on the 22nd December … did you have an MRI scan? Aah just looked back at your posts, you have had a biopsy done on ‘other’ boob … my MRI showed another tiny lump behind main lump (very crafty is lobular) when do you get your results? Have you got an op date?
Sarah xx
LMAO - it bleeped f**k.
Thinking of you today Em 67 - xxxx
Thinking of you this afternoon Em67.
Jane x