This is my first time examining forums for stuff like this, of course I prayed I never had to and for some reason always though that (if I did need them), it would be me I would be discussing. Not the case. The past few weeks has been a chaotic rush of examinations of my mums breasts. Started with a regular mastectomy, then a biopsy and then an mri scan. I knew she was hiding stuff from me the first week, how worried she was, what she really thought about it etc. Slowly her panic and terror is showing.
I’m trying to be positive, I think more for myself than anything else. She gets the results soon and I hope and some part of me believes that it will all be fine. That the doctors screwed up, that all these tests were just because the mucked up the last set. I realised today that my mantra of “covering their arses” isn’t holding up anymore and I may need to face an uncertain future.
Our family situation is complicated and I will be there for her as much as possible, but I feel overwhelming guilt! Mainly because I keep thinking how this will change ‘my’ life, change ‘me’, change ‘my’ future, how ‘I’ will cope. Does anyone else feel like this?