mothers dianosis

Hi, Im new on this site and i needed some information and support. My mothers found a lump in her left breast on sunday and as she already had an appointment with her doctor (the next day on monday) she mentioned to him the itching nipple she had had and after examining her found a very large lump that seems to be behind her left breast just to the left of her breast bone, this lump is approx 2 1/2 inches and has attached itself to her chest wall, the doc didnt even wait for tests he told my mother immediately it was cancer and she couldnt have a mommogramme because it was on her chest wall, she phoned me and told me in tears on monday and im not coping with this at all! we are devestated she is my rock and the thought of losing her is too much to bear, shes 82 going on 60 and im worried that she wont get full treatment because of her age. Ive cried since monday morning and had to tell my 4 boys all this news yesterday, they range from 20 to 16 and all of them are dumb struck, but none of them are falling apart as bad as i am! To make matter worse she lives over 200 miles away and the only daily contact she has is with my grumpy sister, whos already managed to upset mum since monday!..i feel so helpless, usless and desperate, i am not coping at all! shes waiting for emergency appointment for a biopsy, but untill then we dont know anything…please help!

Hi lilyput

I am sorry to read of your Mum’s recent diagnosis. Whilst you wait for the other forum user to reply with their advice and support you may find it helps to talk about how you are feeling at the moment. BCC have a helpline where you are able to talk things through with a trained member of staff who will offer you support and information.
The number to call is 0808 800 6000 and the lines are open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm and Saturday 9am to 2pm.

I hope you find this helpful.

Kind regards
Sam (BCC Facilitator)

hi lilyput,
Sorry to hear of your moms diagnosis,I just wanted to reassure you about your moms age,my grandad had one of the most agressive skin cancers you can have when he was 79,his age didnt matter at all it was his fitness levels to withstand treatment that they considered,he had a 12 hour operation to remove all the affected skin and surrounding tissue from his head,neck and face and 2 skin grafts from his arms and 2 from his legs.That was 3 yrs ago he is STILL as fit as a fiddle.I am pretty sure that your mom will be treated accordingly if she is fit and well otherwise.Ive seen lots of older people in the cancer unit when I go,also on a positive note,breast cancer In older patients I believe has usually been slow growing over some years .Please try and be positive for her,it will be a huge help in her overcoming this,my kids are so supportive and im only 38.Good luck over the nxt couple of weeks.Take care Sharon.x

It was found that my grandmother had BC whilst being treated for something else. She was in her 80’s and didn’t receive treatment for it. When she eventually passed away, she was in her 90’s - and the BC wasn’t a factor.

I remember we were told that it wasn’t going to affect her life, and they were right!

This is still going to be difficult for you to come to terms with, but you will.


Hi Lilyput

It must be so very difficult being 200 miles away from your mum at a time like this but your love and support are what she needs and I’m sure she knows she has that. I know it’s hard but it is good that you have a close relationship and that she can call you and tell you how she is feeling. It sounds like you mum is a fit healthy 82 year old and that is all in her favour. Try and take each day as it comes and you will all feel better when you have an accurate diagnosis and a treatment plan in place. Perhaps your sister is grumpy as she is not dealing with the news either. I do hope you are feeling better soon.

Anne xx

Hi lilyput

I doubt very much that they would not treat due to your mums age, and I dont think her doctor thinks so either or he would not put her foreward for an emergancy appointment, thank goodness for an on the ball GP.
I know everyone goes to pieces when they hear the c word but it is NOT the death sentance it used to be. OK if you read some of the posts on here or anywhere else it can scare you silly but most of us come on here for help support and information as and when we need it and the majority of us get through and go on to have long good quality lives.
Yes some of the treatments are sh*t and can feel worse than the disease but they do get us through and as someone said before often the older you are the slower the c grows as its often driven by our female hormones.
Also isnt it the way that its the grumpy sister who’s nearest your mum.
Falling apart and not coping is a normal reaction this is your mum who you love to bits and chatting on the phone or via web cam isnt the same as a hug but just the fact that she knows you love her is giving her a great deal of support and comfort.
There are others on this site who have/ are in your terrible situation whom I’m sure will give you more useful advice than me but just so’s you know were all here fighting with you.

Don’t expect all test results to necessarily come through qwickly and do understand that everyone gets slightly different courses of treatment all depending on the type of c your mum has.

But do come and ask for advice etc because someone here can help. I’ve got a bundle of notes on all sorts of stuff in preparation for my treatments which even as a nurse myself i would not have known about if not fot the great people on this site.

Lots of love to you and your family