Bless you hon I can totally sympathize its a long hard journey no matter what people say were all different and if we feel angry or hurt thats ok its what we feel… i,m post surgery 9 mths now and had some dreadful times I still feel a different person to a year agobut maybe thats the Letrozole so looking forward to the day when I find myself again… it will come xxxx
I have found it so helpful reading all your comments. I was dx in March, surgery at end of April and have just had chemo 5/6. I’m wondering where it’s all leading…
I have been a passenger in my own life, really, without much sense of direction. My husband left me 10 years ago and since then I have been working really hard at a frustrating and stressful job, to bring in enough money to raise our two boys happily and comfortably. Now, with BC, I am thinking I should make a few changes to my life to try and be happier and calmer. After all, life’s not a rehearsal, as they say.
First change: ditch the career. I used to think I was working so hard I could make myself ill and now look! I won’t have as much money, but I will have more time to spend with my loved ones. I don’t think I’m being irresponsible as I should be able to find work to make ends meet.
Second change: move away. I moved 250 miles from my roots to be with my husband at the time and he’s still here but I’d like to be nearer my family.
Like some of you I thought I knew what my health demon was (heart disease is in my family, so I’ve looked after my diet and exercised lots). But now the game has changed. Sometimes I lie awake at night thinking “please let me live long enough to see my children through school”. Another 6-8 years would do it.
Not that I’ve had a terminal diagnosis. It’s just the uncertainty, which every human lives with although they don’t know it, is plain to see for us lot.
The person I was pre-diagnosis wasn’t especially happy, but she was settled. Now I’m contemplating big life changes and how do I know if I’ll be well enough to enjoy them? But having woken up and smelled the coffee, how can I go back to the rut I was stuck in?
It’s so confusing! Good luck and best wishes to each of you!
Starlight xx