Moving forward and getting in with life

Dx 3 years ago with high grade DCIS left side,so had double mastectomy and they operated on right side,as implant from previous breast cancer had twisted.Had 8 lots of surgery,as ultimately implants failed,so removed.A year later,had DIEP, followed by 2 more lots of surgery,on abdomen,after seroma that capsulated and loculated.This resulted in scar tissue and apparently subcutaneous fat…lost over a stone,upped my exercise…still got big tummy,and uncomfortable…

Nothing else can be done,but just can not move on.I am feeling much better,but continue to feel flat,and a bit tearful…anyone else feel like this,or is it something you learn to live with.

Hi jillybee I was also diagnosed 3 years ago with IDC. I had a masectomy and SNB and then an axillary clearance as cancer found in the sentinel node. I am taking tamoxifen which has had its own side effects and led on to further tests for a thickened endometrium. I had an endometrial biopsy and hysteroscopy which came back clear. I also ended up having a colonoscopy for recurrent constipation which also came back clear and I am convinced was caused by the tamoxifen. Last but not least my two big toe nails and several of my finger nails look very odd and have been extremely painful on and off my GP prescribed antibiotics and checked to see if there was a fungal infection but that came back clear. I told my oncologist who referred me to a podiatrist who said oh yes we see a lot of this with tamoxifen. 


i can see why you are finding it hard to move on you have been through an awful lot. The thing is physically that reminder is always there. Be gentle with yourself as you would a friend if they had been through what you have. It sounds to me as if you have coped really well.


i find the month of August and the beginning of September really hard as the dates of my finding the lump, going to the GP, my diagnosis and two operations come round again. I found my lump on 4th August 2013, went to GP on 5th August and was diagnosed on 13th August. For the last few days I have been feeling very emotional remembering what I was going through 3 years ago and it has been difficult keeping the tears at bay.  I have been chasing up my yearly mammogram, I have to chase every follow up appointment and this makes me really angry it’s hard enough without that.


i am sorry about the essay I just wanted you to know that you are not on your own.  You have been through such a lot and been really strong. You will find the strength to move on.


Take care I am thinking of you.





Hollyberry,what a lovely,lovely message…I can understand where you are coming from as well.Mammogram 12tgJuly,biopsy on 22nd,Dx 31st and mastectomy 5th September.All 2013,then DIEP July 24th 2014.Final 2 ops April and May 2015.

You are right,it is the dates,and inwardly you relive it all,but on the outside you are smiling…basically I am a glass half full person, and look at what I can do,and am swimming,Pilates,and walk.Have brilliant family,and good friends.Have lots going for me…your reply has made me feel less alone,thankyou.

love and gentle hugs…???

PS …still not tolerant of people who have nothing really wrong with them,but still moan…???


Hi all
Im now on my last 3 sessions of radiotherapy. Im still getting herceptin and am on tamoxifen…
What im really struggling to get my head around is that once i finish Wednesday it’ll be bye bye off you pop n get on with your life. …until mammogram next year.
I was told i had to have this chemo n rads because there was signs of " vascular invasion". Ok…so theres nothing i can have to say…“all clear”? X

Hi Mary
Thanks for that. I just wish there was some kind of test to say all clear. Its something i obviously have to get my head around! Xx

Hi Anita
I agree on the family n friends side of it too. Apart from my hubby who also cant get his head around not getting the all clear. Hmmmm. Xx

hi Sue C,
It is normal to feel like this, it is odd finishing treatment, a sort of ‘now what?’ feeling. I reassure myself by reminding myself ‘nodes clear,’ ‘good margins’ & now, having finished rads & on tamoxifen, so bc is far less likely to be a risk than before embarking on all this.
Anyway, first follow-up mammo due in Jan, so reflecting on it all again!
ann x

Hello Sue and Ann


hopping on the thread to share. I too finished rads just before Christmas and feel like it’s a turning point. Still having herceptin jabs every 3 weeks till June and letrozole for years but pleased the biggies are over and done. Very pleased to have 5 o’clock shadow eyebrows and that my white fluff hair is thickening daily. Am feeling positive about the new year and determined to pack it with fun and happy times … but am also terrified that the cancer will recur. I have a looming feeling that I can’t shake off that my life will be shortened by recurrence, whether it’s in 2/6/10 years. I feel a pressure to make big decisions about my life so that I don’t have regrets on my deathbed and I have a list of music I want played at my funeral and I am updating my will. I don’t talk of this with my hubby or friends because people just poo poo it. But it is very real to me. Determined not to let it overwhelm me and am hoping in time it will fade away. I miss my old life, the simplicity and positivity of believing all was well and a life plan that was straightforward. I mourn the loss of my boob and my damaged veins. Sorry for being morbid - I am really ok but just beneath the surface lurks a bit of blackness. X

Hi Sue, Kiki, Oncewild (love that name - I was once too) and Ann,


Thanks for your posts they exactly describe how I feel since finishing rads just before xmas. What is normal after BC treatment? The whole thing came out of the blue, then it was ‘bish - bash - bosh’ full on action and now, well that all seems ok off you go for a few months forget about it and get back to normal. Er, how do I do that?


I’m truly not moaning, I feel very fortunate and it is so good to know I am not alone. Gill