Mum Waiting for Results


I feel a bit ridiculous writing this as I don’t even know whether there is actaully problem at the moment or not. But I am really very worried about my Mum (who is a very youthful 61).

Last week she had a routine mammogram, and was recalled for a secondary mammogram this morning. When she went to the clinic this morning, they confirmed that they could see a dark mass near her left armpit and she was immediately taken for an ultrasound and a core biopsy. She will get the results next wednesday.

Due to the speed of things moving this morning, I am automatically assuming that this is very very bad news indeed. She had a biopsy about 12 years ago too (and was given the all-clear) but it all passed me by a bit, but now it is all very real. Also, I am so shocked as she has had no symptoms whatsoever and couldn’t even feel a lump.

All these awful - most irrational - things are going through my mind. What will we do if she is diagnosed? How on earth is my dad going to cope? I live abroad (I am posting this from Germany) so I feel completely useless and am worrying about whether I should fly over or not to be there.

If anyone can give any advice, then I’d be really very grateful. I just don’t know what to say on the phone to convince her - and myself - that everything is going to be OK.

HI Aimless,
Sorry to hear about your Mum, how horrid that you feel so far away. I wouldn’t leap on a plane quite yet, otherwise you really will worry her! Waiting for the results is always so hard for everyone, and sometimes it’s worse for the family than the “patient”. Does your mum have internet access, if so, get her on here, she’ll find lots of support, whatever the diagnosis. Thank heaven for routine mammograms. There have been times over the last three years for me, both good and bad, when the girls here have been a godsend. (I use Girls fairly loosely, I’m 55).

Hi aimless

So sorry to hear what your mum is going through - as you will see form other threads on here - the waiting, and not knowing, is the worst time.

have to say I agree with Silversue - don’t leap on the plane just yet! other than worry alongside her - there will be very little you can do at this stage. Should there be a problem, then your presence then will be much more appreciated i am sure. All you can do is try to reassure your mum (which will be difficult I know).

And again, if she has internet access - get her to sign up - the support here is tremendous - I would have been lost without it.

Please keep posting - the support is here for you too - and let us know how your mum gets on - will be thinking of you both

take care and best of luck

Margaret x

Dear Aimless
I have two daughters and i do feel a lot of guilt ,that i have become a burden to them at 58 i was diagnosed last September and misdiagnosed in May. My youngest daughter has been to every chemo there when i went for my Mastectomy( my other daughter has babies but she helps me with the house). They both spoil me, but the reason i am telling you this , your Mum knows she has your love and support but she will also want you to have your life and she will get pleasure from you living it. I agree with the others if she is diagnosed then this is such a wonderful site get her to sign up. Yes do come over but not yet she will worry even more. Also i am being very positive, i intend to see my grandchildren married. The time has shot by since last september and today i had no 4 of 6 chemo. By June i should have most of my hair back but i love my wig so much i might keep it. I cannot wait to get back to being mischevious,and yes it has been a huge life changing experience but this is part of life’s journey and i am on that path.
Much love to you and all your family and we are here for you as well.