mums just been diagnosed

My mum was diagnosed this wednesday, it’s not the first time she has had cancer, but first time in her Breast. its been almost 30 yrs, we are all still reeling from this , some coping better than others.
She goes in for her surgery on the 8th Nov, then she will have her therapy. I was only 7 last time she was ill so i really don’t know what to expect , in the way this will affect her physically and emotionally, so any tips would be appreciated.


Hi Cath

I am sorry to hear of your mum’s recent diagnosis of breast cancer, I am sure you will receive some valuable advice and support for her from the other forum users. In addition, here is a link to a Breast Cancer Care publication ‘Resources Pack’ which can be ordered on line, it is filled with information to help her better understand her diagnosis, test results and the various treatments available: You are also welcome to contact our freephone confidential helpline on 0808 800 6000, the helpline team can offer you further support and a ‘listening ear’ so that you can talk about anything that is worrying her at the moment. The helpline is open Monday to Friday 9am-5pm and Saturday 9am-2pm. Hope this helps.
Best wishes
Breast Cancer Care

Hi Cath
I’m sorry to hear about your mum’s news. However, you’ve come to the right place and you’ll get lots of support here. It’s good that you’re trying to find out what to expect - you’re obviously going to be a great support to her.
I don’t know what kind of surgery your mum is having, but whether it’s a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, the operation itself is not bad and the after care is generally very good. She’s likely to have a short stay in hospital and then to need help at home to recuperate. Once the pathology lab results are out, the breast cancer care team will decide on any further treatments e.g., radiotherapy or chemotherapy.
She’ll doubtless need physical and emotional support - wonderful if you’re able to help with either or both. My family and friends have been brilliant over the last year of my treatments - I’ve been particularly grateful for the following:

  • staying with my mum for 2 or 3 days - a sort of mini holiday each time i was well enough to travel
  • supper at friends’ houses when I felt well and gifts of meals when I didn’t
  • offers of shopping, ironing, cleaning (didn’t take these up, but knew they were there)
  • phone calls week in week out and one-offs when I’d been for particular treatments
  • coming with me to appointments because I couldn’t always remember what had been said - or wasn’t well enough to drive
    I’m sure you’ll find your way - we all have to. However, this is sure to be a tough time for you emotionally too and you need to look after yourself too. The first thing is making sure your mum’s OK, but once you know that, you also need to find ways to let off steam and to get some support. This site is great for that - lots of people who understand exactly what you’re going through.

Hi chatty cathy. I have a daughter aged 27yrs and I know she was very worried about me when I was diagnosed this time last year.
She is at Uni at the moment, but she comes home regularly to see me, although I am fine now. She will probably give me a message to pass on to you when I see her, as she knows what it is like for daughters in this situation.

thanks everyone, i have had no internet for a week so i am catching up on stuff like mad, Mums having a Lumpectomy , and lymph nodes removed, she has been told she must always wear gloves for gardening and washing up in case she gets an infection. this is for the rest of her life, i find it very strange.
She has been very brave so far just a couple of times it has got the better of her, . i know i am struggling the closeer we get to the date for her op 8th Nov. I hope i can be strong enough for her . It is all new despite this not being the first time she has had cancer, I was only 5/6 last time, She has a new husband too, they have been together for just over 20 yrs so he is finding it hard.
We have been shopping for some new stuff for her stay and for after, I think this is going to be a weird Christmas this yr, my mum is a party girl and loves going out so she will be stir crazy by the time she feels well enough to go out .
thanks for your support , truley appreciated
Cath xxx

Dear Cathy

I only just caught up with your thread but wanted to say that you Mum is lucky to have such a concerned daughter to look out for her. I’m sorry to hear that cancer has struck her twice.

I’m sure she’ll be fine, all my fingers are crossed for you

Cecelia. x

Hi Cathy, Am thinking of you and your Mum today. I was told all that stuff about always gardening with gloves on etc. To be honest I often forget. The only thing I am careful about is not giving blood samples from my affected side, but even that can’t be too important because they never seem to ask which arm I want to use.
I had a mastectomy this time last year, and by Christmas everything seemed back to normal. I was lucky and didn’t need chemo or anything, but I know others who did, and they seem fine now as well.
If your Mum has to do arm exercises, encourage her to do them so she gets full use of her arm back.(It is taking the lymph nodes out that causes the discomfort) I used to make a mark with blue tack on the door and try to reach a bit higher each day.
Let us know how she gets on.
Hugs, Heidicat