My beautifull Sister

Its been 18 months since i lost my sister to breast cancer, & nearly 18 months since i last posted. I feel really lost at the moment, almost like this 2nd year without her is harder than the first. I suppose things are raw again at the moment after mother’s day, it was hard for my mum & harder for my nephew- who still doesnt understand where his mummy has gone, and why she has left him.I stayed positive on the day, but its hard been strong when i miss her soo much. It prob doesnt help that in 3weeks it would of been Lisa’s 32nd birthday,everything seems so unfair xx

A big hug to you Lily.
This disease is so evil and unpredictable and it is very unfair that you lost your sister at such a young age.
Try and remember something funny about her so that you can perhaps smile at the memory.
Sending lots of love and hugs
Sarah
xxx

Hi Lily

Another big {hug} to you too.

I don’t know what I would do without my sister either - that must be sooo hard for you. Everyone is different and we all take our own time to deal with things - if it takes you longer - so be it - don’t beat yourself up. You are sad - and that is OK.

I agree with Sarah - perhaps try and remember all the things she taught you and the laughs you had - you will never forget, she will live on in your memories and you can tell her son all about her - I am sure he will appreiciate this as he gets older.

Best wishes at this sad time x

Hello Lilly,
Big hug, it is sooo hard isn’t it? But it sounds like you are doing really well and I am sure your sister would be proud of how you are all coping.

I think Sozza’s idea of trying to remember something funny is a good one. What are some of your best memories of your sister? If they make you cry, that’s OK, sometimes to laugh and cry at the same time is a good thing.

I wonder what your sister would have hoped you would all be doing now? Remembering her for sure, but also living life to the full I expect.

She will always be in your heart, no-one can take her from there, and the sun will shine again one day.

Hi Lilly, there will be so many of us on the forums who want to send you lots of support and reassurance - loss is loss, its impossible not to feel it, and sometimes maybe, well in my experience anyway, a few low days can help a bit in a funny kind of way - there is a great guy call william worden who wrote about the four tasks of grieving and one of them is facing up to the reality of the loss - perhaps thats what mother’s day led to a bit ?
Who knows, but i loved his book , it really helped me after my mum died. Also my lovely neighbour after his wife died of ovarian cancer - I asked him how he was one day and he said - I am learning to live with the grief alongside me, all the time, everywhere I go.
all the best to you, N

Really feel for you. I would be devastated if I lost my sister and as I was the one with bc going through treatment last year I know she felt the fear of losing me. Like others have said, think of some great times and funny things about her that might help. Although I’m sure you think of her all the time anyway. the pain of losing someone never does go, but it eases with time.

Don’t know where it comes from, probably someone really well known, but I jotted it down once. “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
But Love leaves a memory no one can steal”.

Love and ((((Hugs)))) to you.

Wandyx

Sending you some seriously tight hugs lilly.

Hi moorcow… can you tell us the name of the william worden book? thanks

My sister has only been gone 3 weeks and I can’t imagine how I will manage to get through the next 18 months without her as we did everything together often going on holidays just me and her with our kids. Her kids are 7 and 11 and I feel I need to keep hugging them… that they need to know that they have still got me to hug and kiss them whenever they feel the need. At the moment I cant get past the few days that she had left, but hope that with time I will remember her as the lovely warm smiley person that she was before this horrendous disease was diagnosed. Thimking of you Lilly and all the others out there in our situation. Remember you are not alone and PM me if you like as it might help me as well to have someone to talk to who does actually understand what I am going through xx

Hi fedup42 - here is a link to William Worden’s “4 tasks of grief” I hope it helps you.
hospiceslo.org/images/stories/documents/wordens%204%20tasks.pdf

I too lost my beautiful sister 13 months ago now (3 weeks after I was diagnosed). It is the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with and some days it weighs very heavily indeed. My heart goes out to you. My family have been a wonderful support throughout even though they are suffering so much too. I had a wee blip this week when my brother-in-law phoned to say that he had met someone else. I managed to stay upbeat and positive for the duration of the call but it sent me into a tailspin really. It is another stage of the grieving process I suppose. As the saying goes ‘The only way out is through!’ My family and I always talk about my sister and all the funny and lovely stories which make us laugh and that helps a lot.
Love and hugs
Jan
x