Hi Ladies,
Well I dont know where to start really. Only to say I am soooooo worried about my husband.
I will give you a little background. Married for 26 yrs very very happy - two children 20 yrs a son with special needs and a daughter of 14 yrs.
I was dx with IDC Grade 3 stage 2. 6 Lymph nodes involved. Feb 06. ER+ PR- HER +++. Full radical Mastectomy. Full Ancillary clearance. 4 x Epi. 4 x CMF. 15 Rads. examesane daily.
Well neraly three yrs post dx - Husband been really brilliant. Dont know what I’d do without him I love him so so much. We have NO immediate family. No Mum’s No Dad’s, so therefore children no relations. Only me and my husband.
Well went to Hospital today, saw an ENT consultant for my husband, his symptoms have been a swollen neck on rt side. Had scan ultrasound - lymph nodes abnormal. Doctor says further tests and biopsy nxt weds and unfortunately things not looking good and testing for Cancer.
My whole world has , well I really dont know what to say I am so scared frightened. As you Ladies know unfortunately with BC it is so unpredictable and every day I count my blessings I am still NED, thank goodness, but not that i am waiting for it to come back - i know that it could at any time!!
Well I just burst into tears, broke down in the consulting room telling the Dr that my husband cant be ill. I have bc and we - hubby and me, are all our children have pls i told him not Cancer and he just looked at me saying come on now think posotive. I am so scared and frightened not for myself but for our children.
My mind was running roit, what would happen to our kids if anything happened to us?? - Feeling so so down. Trying to keep strong for my husband as bless him he does not want to worry me.
I really dont like the place that I am in at the moment.
Perhaps if we had any brothers/sisters or Mum/Dad, perhaps in our minds we know that if anything did happen we know our families would look after the children.
Sorry for waffling on Ladies…
Thanks for listening…
Love Traceyxxx
Tracy,
Please do not apologise, you are not waffling on. It is understandable you feel this way. You whole heartedly know whats involved with a cancer dx and how it rocks your world and fear becomes hard to deal with. What ever it is with your hubby you would rather they deal with it now rather than later. Iknow its hard to be strong because i’m sure this has most probably bought up hidden emotions from your dx.
My hubby is as good as an only child - doesn’t have much to do with his bro and i am 1 of 5. Both our parents are around but we have also had a discussion that if something happens to me and then him who will look after our children. I have 3 girls aged 2,5 & 8 and to be honest i don’t know. I wouldn’t want the pressure to be on both his or my parents as they are all old. I wouldn’t ask his brother as his never seen them. I wouldn’t ask brother 1 because he agues with his wife too much and drinks alot. Would ask brother 2 as his wife would look after them out of duty not love. Wouldn’t ask brother 3 as he’s always at work and his wife would feel they are a burden and also she complains at the moment she doesn’t get enough “family” time with her own family which leaves my sister who is a stress and clean adict which wouldn’t do the girls any good. The we ask the question who will look after them? Everyone is busy in their own lives and 3 extra kids would be a burden to anyone.
Saying all that there is nothing sayin that both me and hubby would leave planet earth just yet and the same goes for you and your hubby. yes in life we experience things we don’t want to but some how you manage and get through it.
Try not to think the worst and sending you cyber hugs…
S.
Dear Tracey, what rotten luck .Your children will be ok as I am sure you will both be around for a long time. this disease is a real learning curve. We all cope even though we have some really c*** days.Sending you all hugs and positive thoughts.
Marion xxxxxxxxx
Tracey
My heart goes out to you at this uncertain time. I’m guessing that they are testing for other things and it could be a benign condition. As Sukes says families don’t always work the way we expect them to. If you do have a cancer diagnosis for your husband, there will be support for you and him. My children were 7 and 9 at the time of my diagnosis, so I know something of what you are going through.
Feel free to ‘waffle’ at any time.
with love Wizzxx
Hi Tracey,
I too know a bit how you are feeling, ive 3 kids 8 ,10, 13, ive been divorced a few years from their father who is a severe manic depressive. I was dx oct 2006, my mum 6 months after me. I live in northern ireland my only sibling married in Leeds…i cant make a will…only person whos offered to take the kids in my cousin in Canada…Im idc 1.8cm, grade 3, er/pr pos, her 2 pos…fingers and toes crossed!,
Hope all goes well for your husband at this very stressful time,
Yours,
Jill xx
Thankyou for all your words of support.
Just to let you all know The biopsy is a Ultrasound guided FNA, which will be carried out on Weds 3rd Dec, at 11.00am. The hospital telephoned me with the appt. He is also having a barium x.ray at 9.00am on the same day.
How long do you think the results will be??
Also, consultant mentioned may after FNA take him to theatre to remove Lymph nodes in Neck. Not sure why yet but will keep you informed of what is going on as it happens.
Speak soon
Take Care
Traceyxxxx