My friend has liver mets

Hello,

 

I have just had some dreadful news, a woman I became very friendly with while we we both getting our rads last November sent me a text today to say that they have found liver mets.

 

I am beside myself with worry both for her and it has made me anxious about my own situation if I am honest.

We both had chemo but never saw each other then and she had a masectomy whereas  I had a WLE. The only reason she had rads was because her cancer was close to the chest wall. What makes me more worried for her is that she is triple negative.

 

She had an appointment today to see the oncologist we are both under and I offered to go with her but she had a family member going.

 

What on earth can I say to her? How can I help her?

 

If she has more chemo I will sit with ther throughout it all and she knows I will visit at the drop of a hat or do shopping or housework.

Blueash, This is a difficult situation. Please remember the most important thing here. You are a different person. You are not her and she is not you. Everyone’s tumors have different compositions and respond differently. Besides how our tumors respond its also important how our bodies respond to treatments and the cancer. Firstly you must take care of you physically and emotionally. I have met many wonderful ladies on the forums and we have lost many. My two hardest experiences were one of my best friends and one of my husband’s best friends. Both of these people had been our friends for over 20 years. They were always there for me. They both came down with primary breast cancer while I was well into my secondary journey. Then both of them got metastatic breast cancer. Barb’s went to her brain and was a very aggressive cancer. She was gone in less than four years from her primary diagnosis.John’s cancer was not aggressive but John’s body did not handle chemo treatments  at all. They couldn’t keep him in chemo long enough to fight.  His body never handled any  medicines well. My husband and him were both big guys 6 ft 6 and 350 lbs. My husband could take a benadryl and he wouldn’t notice anything. John needed to be sitting in a chair before he took the beastly bc he would be knocked out. John and I took the same chemo within hours if each other and he ended up being air lifted to Philadelphia a couple hours later for internal bleeding from it. John lived 5 years from the beginning of primary to the end. I’ve been here 22 years since my primary diagnosis and almost 12 with secondaries. I’m still in shock that both of these friends came down with this long after me and are gone.

 

The biggest help you can be for your friend is truly listening to her!!! Going with her fir treatments and giving her a hand are wonderful gestures. Please add some non-cancerous fun. You both need laughter! Hugs and good luck! FF