my hubby driving me insane

My hubby is a half glass full kind of guy. As most of you know I have my surgery this Friday to see if I have C. The core was benign the fna was probably benign but they are not sure as abnormal cells were found, so are taking it out to see. I am really scared that it will be C but hubby keeps saying, it will be fine blah blah. He is driving me nuts, how the hell does he know it will be fine. He also says by Friday it will all be over as it will be out of your body. It might be out of my body but I still wont be any the wiser for another couple of weeks until I get the pathology report from the doctor. He is winding me up so much with his “positive attitude”. Don’t get me wrong positive is good, it’s just I feel he is not accepting that there might be something wrong, and that is making me so frustrated. Any advice on how to deal with how I am feeling would be wonderful.

Thank you.

Jules xxxx

Hi Jules,
My OH is the “worry about it when we know what it is” kind of chap, wouldn’t read any leaflets etc, so when I was told I needed a mastectomy he nearly passed out, whereas I read up on my condition and knew the score. Your man obviously thinks he is being strong, positive and supportive, bless him. Trying to get him to see things in any other light might be worse than useless, the last thing you need right now is an argument. I suggest you come on hear and scream we all know what its like, and let him carry on in his little bubble. Lets hope you don’t have to burst it for him. If all is well of course, he’ll be equally insufferable saying I told you everything was OK!

Good luck on Friday

Thanks Sue! He is on nights this week and in bed! We are not talking at the moment ha ha!! I wanted him to have a few days off next week to keep me company and keep my mind occupied but I have found out that others are off and he can’t be! That is how the argument started “the lump will be out by then, it will all be over”!! God he can’t get it into his stooopid head, that the next couple of weeks waiting to find out are going to be by far the HARDEST!!!

Thanks for the good luck wishes.

Jules xxxxx

Hi Jules

I have not heard of anyone waiting for 2 weeks for the reults before, the results from the WLE should be back within a couple of days, I would be calling the hospital the following week for them, 2 weeks is unacceptable, mine were back witin2 days and many have been back sooner than that,

best wishes


Ask him how he would feel if the lump were on his bits.

Yvonne xx

Hi Jules

I am married to Mr Positive, it was always going to be Ok, even when BC was confirmed it was still going to be Ok and now all the treatment is done and HOPEFULLY it will be Ok he suddenly said out of the blue the other day that I had had my turn at being ill and please don’t do it again. I said I would try.

I think they are so scared its the only way they can cope with the potential enormity of it but it is infuriating to say the least.


Thanks guy for all your support/advice. Just writing it on here helped. I have just read out what I put on here to him (we are talking now) and he did laugh. He laughed particularly at your comment AJ about “please dont do it again”!!! God your other half is lucky to still have some “BITS” left to get lumps on with a comment like that!!!

Lindyloo, I must admit I thought two weeks was far too long, but the nurse at the pre-assesment appointment told me it would be two weeks till the results were back and then I would get an appointment within three weeks. I can tell you I was reeling when she said that, I really can’t wait that long I need to know before I go crazy oh and my vallium supply runs out!!!

Love Jules xxxx

Dear Jules,My hubby is exactly the same.He actually said to me this weekend that ‘my glass is always half empty’!Yes,he’s right but that’s my way of dealing with it then anything else is a bonus.He says exactly the same things as your hubby such as ‘you will be fine’,‘i’ll worry when there’s something to worry about’,etc and sometimes i just want to shake him! I suppose they mean well but i do know exactly how you feel.Best wishes for friday.Lots of love X

i don’t think they can help it! my darling husband (who i adore) - was very supportive while i was in hospital, in the car park, on the day i was dx’d, hugged me and said ‘it WILL be OK’ and now, 3 years down the line won’t/can’t talk about it at all - ‘we don’t need to talk about that anymore…’ but is obsessive about whether or not i have remembered to take the tamoxifen - you know what it’s like…how can i remember to take it, if i can;t remember if i already have!!!

I am glad ladies that I am not alone in having a hubby that drives me to despair at times! He means well, its just so infuriating!