My Mum And Best Friend

Hi,
Just wanted someone to talk to really as my mum was diagnosed with BC grade 2 then 2 weeks later my best friend with BC grade 3 aggresive … my mum is on armidex, and has been told it’s confind to her breast, my best friend however has had a masectomy today… i find it hard sometimes on relating to the issues and questions they have and i find myself wondering different questions on wondering what support i can give i try my best but i feel it’s not always good enough i would like to chat to others in a similar situation.
Many thanks Mandy x

Hi Enigma
Im sorry you are going through this with your Mum and your friend. Im not in a similar situation to you so probably cant offer much help personally. But I wanted to post a reply so it would bump up your post, this way you might get some more replies from people in similar situations or who can point you in the right direction.
(sometimes when a post is made late in the evening it can get “lost” with all the posts made the following morning before people have a real chance to read it).

I think its admirable that you are wanting to be as supportive and as knowledgeable as you can be to support the people close to you. Perhaps your Mum and friend (when they feel up to it of course) could register and use the forums too ? This is a great place for being able to talk and share experiences and worries with other people going through exactly the same things … Im sure they would find it a great support.

I hope you get some replies that will help you Enigma, in the meantime please try to take care of yourself.

Sue xxxx

Hi Enigma, Like sueinspain I am not in the same position as you, similar in that my mum was diagnosed with cancer just under two years ago (sadly she passed away shortly after). I was diagnosed myself in March of this year with breast cancer with secondaries. All I can suggest is that you let them know that you are there for them but be as honest as you can about the level of support you feel able to offer. Is there anyone who can help with the practical and emotional sides of this, possibly different people for each aspect? Do they have someone to go with them to appointments? I found that having my husband with me, just to take notes and remind me of questions that I meant to ask, was a fantastic help. If he hadn’t been able to attend I would probably have asked a friend to go with me. In the early stages that is very important. I hope you are able to connect with someone in the same position as you, but if you can’t I have found the others on these forums are wonderful in offering advice and support. If it is any help those around me feel that their best is not good enough, quite frankly that is not true. SOmetime we put too much pressure on ourselves. Breast cancer care offer many booklets, for carers as well as those with cancer. You may find it helpful to read through some of those. This must be a really tough time for you so please take care of yourself as well. Wishing you all the best. Snoogle x

Thank you Sue and snoogle for your posts it’s nice to know there are people out there that i can talk too. My friend is still in hospital and is on morphine for the pain but her op went well.Thank you once again for answering i wish you both the best in whatever journey you are on and thank you for your suggestions.
Take Care Mandy xx