My mum

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1

Hello.

This is a question about my mum rather than myself.

A few weeks ago she had the routine breat screening for people over 50 (she’s 54) and about two weeks ago she was pretty shocked to get a letter asking her to go back. Although such a thing is quite common and usually results in nothing being wrong according to statistics, my mum is the type to think the worst and i was a bit worried myself despite trying to sound rational to her over it, although reading up on statistics encouraged me.

She went back for more testing a week ago and she didn’t the reassurance she was hoping for. Throughout the extra testing through mammograms and ultrasound, it seems nothing could be found in the breast. However, on what seemed to be coincidence the ultrasound picked up swollen lymph nodes in an area near her breat. I don’t know if she was ever given an exact name for where they were found, but I think it is the axilla and all of you on here may know. Anyway, they took a biopsy in order to look at the lymph node.

Today she’s gone back and they’ve told her there are irregularities they’re not that happy with and that they’re going to remove a lymph node in order to send it to pathology for further tests. I wasn’t there and have only spoken to my mum briefly on the phone so there aren’t too many other details i can give at the moment, I don’t even know if they sounded concerned or not.

Naturally my mum is worried and with the type of person she is she’ll be incredibly worried. I’m now feeling very worried myself.

Throughout this process i’ve been reading up on things in order to give myself reassurance and hoping every appointment will result in nothing, with the odds seemingly in favour of that. But it never seems to be ending, and now I just feel like i have to seek out advice of people that may be experienced.

What does it mean that they want to remove a lymph node? I’m aware of the number of explanations there an be for swollen lymph nodes i.e. infection, cold so is it still likely that it could be one of them, and this is a method of making sure, or does the fact they want to do this a very bad sign? I and other family members felt the fact nothing wrong could be found with the breasts on the re-testing was encouraging, but this whole thing has put doubt in my mind and also theirs i’m sure, as i’m also aware of the serious things that could be to do with a swollen lymph node.

Any words of wisdom are much appreciated, even the thought of my mum having cancer is horrible as i’m very close to her, and it seems like nobody is reassuring her, yet nothing is being decided either.

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Hi Hmmm

Firstly I am sorry you find yourself having to come on here at all, it is a worrying time for your mum, you and your family.

I dont really think anyone can give you the reassurances you or your mum are looking for, and the only way is wait for the results of the biopsy. The wait is the worse part of this disease, it is even worse than being told you have cancer, the uncertainty is awful. Hopefully the result will be good and it is infection which is highly likely, as you say you have looked at the statistics and you are aware 90% of lumps are benign,. If it is ok you can carry on with your lives and your mum will continue to have regular check ups.

However if the results are not favourable yes its devastating, but as a family you will pull together and get through it, the treatment is manageable and maybe your mum is a tougher cookie than you think, after all she bought you up to be a wonderful daughter.

I hope your mum gets good results when she goes back to the clinician, take care

Linda
xxx

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Hi, thanks for that.

I realise the way I worded that would make you have the impression i was a female myself, but i’m actually my mum’s son.

I don’t know if being male makes me worse or better for support, but we’ll just see what happens.

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Hi there i fully understand how worried and upset you are about youre mam as 2 years ago i was in the very same situation with my mam and after testing hers thankfully turned out to be a cyst, so when i found myself in a similar situation although worried i thought mine would turn out to be the same unfortunately mine was BC and i have just finished all my treatment and doing well thankfully and just gone back to work. However strangely enough i was more frightened and worried for my mam.Anyway there is only 1 definate way they can tell you and that is by biopsy so they wont commit to anything untill this has been done and they have all the test results back.Remember 85-90% of lumps come back benign and if its any reassurance my surgeon removed all of my lymph nodes and the lump as he said they looked swollen and suspicious ( i was devastated that it had spread all over) but they all came back negative and he said that sometimes the body is trying to fight it like an infection but dosesnt mean they are necessarily affected.Heres hoping that all will be ok with her biopsy but if not i know you feel scared and alone but it is treatable and like all the ladies on here you will be strong for her and get her through no matter what ( but i know it doesnt feel like that at the time )

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I echo what the others have said, and also that a biopsy gives a pretty accurate result so when your mum gets the result (hopefully a good one) then you will all be in a much better position to deal with whatever it is. Fingers crossed that it’s benign or the result of an infection somewhere.

I have breast cancer and as part of the diagnosis I had an MRI scan. When the result of the scan came back I was told that I had an enlarged lymph node that could do with further investigation. At the same time as surgery to remove the tumour the lymph node was taken out and was shown to be clear of cancer, so I hope that reassures you that you can have enlarged nodes and for it to be nothing to do with cancer.

And your mum’s very lucky to have such a caring son, I’m sure she’s very glad to have you.

Good luck to your mum for good results.