Hi Chrissie
Saw your post earlier but was dashing so didn’t have time to answer. You will feel spaced out for a while when starting your tablets but it does get better. If you feel out of it maybe leave off them until the weekend when you have got rid of the nob and you have had your appointment.
Liz xx
Hi Chrissie,
Good luck tomorrow, I agree with Liz leave the tablets for a few days if you think that you wont be with it enough to deal with it all, see how you feel, only you know. I will be thinking of you,
I hope you will have someone with you,and then you can relax in the evening and take a deep breath and think great now I can get on with mylife, cos I am a great person, who has 2 beautiful daughters and I deserve so much more than this.
Take care
Dawn X
Hi Chrissy
Ive been reading through your thread and wondering what advice i can give you. * years ago my hubby left leaving me in debt morgage and 6 kids But i fought the only way I lnow how was to prove to the b)(*(*d that I could do it without him and I did my kids have all turned out great and were are all really close more like best friends now. My only problem is since I have had this thing I had to go long term sick and dont get paid when Iam off I still have my youngest here so things are tight only got 4 years left on my morgage and dont want to lose it now Morgage compant have been great I only pay interest till iam back at work so that helps loads as I was worried sick about it. But the way I look at it I managed on my own bringing up six kids a little thing like cancer aint gonna beat me… No man is worth your life and it is your life no one will take that away from you. Hold your head high you have done nothing wrong Your going through one of the toughest time of your life and when you get through this you can face the world and do anything you want. Like us all here strength comes from within and we women seem to find it from the soul. Good luck and best wishes.
Joanne
Dear Chrissie,I too am on Diazepam and Citalopram.When i first started them i felt like i was pregnant!Kind of a morning sickness feeling.Give them a few weeks and if they don’t seem to be helping go back to the doctor and they can find you something else.Hope they work for you.Best wishes x
Morning girls. Thank you so much for all your support. Yesterday evening I felt the best I have since all this blew up, I was sitting in the garden chatting on the phone about little nob and he overheard my conversation, he shouted ‘Can you stop gossiping about me while I’m in ear shot?’ I shouted back ‘**** off somewhere else then!’ Something I would never had dared say before! He spent the evening moping around saying he had lost lot’s of weight (Needs to) and asking why I hadn’t asked him how he was coping with all off this. Can you believe him??? He told me that other than when he’s working he spends every moment thinking of me and my girls. Yeah right! He is actually feeling sorry for himself! God knows how, but I’m actually stronger than him and I’m so pleased.
I just pray my results are good because if I need treatment I have no idea how I’ll run the house with a lodger! Does anyone know if I have to make up a contract or anything for the new lodger?
Off to walk my dogs now, it’s a beautiful day. Then I shall call around estate agents although I saw on the news that the market is looking really glum and is expected to get far worse over the next few years, so I had better get moving on this.
Bye for now Chris xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Chris
Just catching up on your postings. Isn’t it a wonderful and liberating feeling when someone who has hurt you so badly no longer can affect you? It like all of a sudden a light has switched in our heads saying why have we put up with this idiot for so long. Reacting like you did when on the phone is just brilliant because he knows you no longer are scared and most importantly, no longer care.
As for lodgers, you don’t need any formal contract. They have no rights basically, unlike a tenant, so they are far more easily got rid of if you dont want them anymore. On the other hand, they can just take off too, so its a two way thing. Just be sure you feel comfortable with them. You don’t even have to pay tax on any income.
the housing market is gloomy but that doesnt mean it has stopped. Providing you are asking a fair price you should still be OK. Houses are still selling where I live, but not at the silly prices they were asking last year.
Good luck
Cathy
x
Hi Chissie,
Glad to hear your feeling stronger and hope your results go well.
Like Cathy says a lodger has very little rights and no court order is required to evict them just reasonable notice. Please choose carefully and ask if they have references. You don’t want another pain in the backside moving in.
Check out www.adviceguide.org.uk or visit CAB again they have all the information you need.
Caz x
Morning Chrissie
Great that you are stronger and today hopefully he is moving out?
But most of all good luck for tomorrow - will be thinking of you and hope the news is good but if not we all know you will cope. It will be hard initially but we just have to get on with it.
Thinking of you
Liz xx
Hi Chrissie
What about advertising for a “Woman” lodger or a “Student”, do you live near a University or College.
Thinking about you
Sarah-Jane
Chrissie
Keep your head up high when dealing with your ex-(k)nob! you are so right not to bring yourself down to his level - we are all worth more than that! Hope that his departure goes well for you. Speak with your bank and a solicitor to get things sorted out to your best advantage before you agree anything with him - advice from the wise by experience!!!
Good luck with your week; thinking of you - you really are not alone with this bunch on here.
Hugs to you
L
Has little-nob moved out then? Hope he has and with no trouble for you … good luck with your appointment tomorrow, I will be thinking about you and eagerly awaiting news.
Chrissie
I am guessing that this day has not been easy for you… your last post to me sounds like he is playing games with you.
I hope that you have seen through this, and that your home is now a haven of peace - without Small-nob-rob.
Good luck for tomorrow.
(Oh - and if he is still there, we are all still here for you!! We all know that it is easier said than done…)
Please post soon, we are all waiting…
Lisa X
Hello Everyone
Just finished babysitting my neighbours kids, didn’t mind having them here as it’s kept me occupied. Rob the nob left today, he has rented a room down the road. Said it was so he could help me out, the mind boggles! I managed to wave him off with a cheery smile and have to say it felt good to see him with tears in his eyes.
I’m feeling surprisingly calm about tomorrow and although the wait has been dreadful I wonder if somehow it prepares you for the worst. I’m just thinking if it’s bad news then I shall just have to deal with it, what choice do we all have! After I walked the dogs this morning I went back to bed till midday. Got up had a bath and went back to bed again. Came downstairs had a cuppa and fell asleep on the couch till the girls got home. I think it must just be sheer exhaustion and my mind was saying ‘no more’ and shutting down. Trouble is I’m now wide awake. Do you think it would be a good idea to take a diazepam before my appointment? Maybe I’ll sleep through it. ha ha I’ve been told it could be a long wait. With little nob going it’s like I’ve finished a chapter and tomorrow I start another. The stress of waiting for him to go was immense, but now I feel a great weight has been lifted!
You have all been so lovely and have given me so much strength, so lots of hugs to you all.
Chris xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Chrissie - what a relief ! We have all waiting for you to post. I am pleased for you that he has gone and without any hassle or nastiness. The only down side is that he is only down the road- so he can help you out ?? You don’t need him any more. You have gone this far and whatever the outcome it tomorrow you have your lovely daughters and family to help you through this. I think I remember you saying a friend was going with you tomorrow. That will be a good help.
Personally I wouldn’t take the Diazepam now until after tomorrow and you may feel that you don’t need them. If the news is bad you need to let the grief out.
Has he left his keys with you?
Lots of hugs to you.
Liz xx
Hi Liz
Yep! Got his keys. As most of life’s bullies feel the need to put you down to feel big them self, it’s finally backfired and he went off quietly with his tail between his legs.
Wish I had got rid when he first hit me!
Thanks for everything, and just before I read your message I took a Diazepam Opphs!
xxxxxxx
Good for you. I must admit that I had felt so proud of you when I was reading your post. He had tears in his eyes - well I’m bloody glad he did. I hope he keeps away and lets you get on with your life now.
I’ll let you off the Diazepam then - you’ll be okay by the time of your appt. I only said that because when I was diagnosed I took my niece with me (she’s more like a sister) and she was on Prozac and Diazepam and all what I was going through she didn’t shed a tear as the drugs made her like that.
I have had a very controlling husband and had actually left (I may have put this already - chemo brain!) the family home 4 months before but when I found out I had BC he said he wanted to look after me and I knew I had to come back because also it’s the kid’s home and far better for them to come and visit me here. I also found my flat was draining me financially and am in a load of debt because of it. So here I am - a year down the line. He was okay at first but the better I have got he is returning to his old ways. He has never hit me but always been very controlling and bad tempered. I am taking it one day at a time and I really don’t know what will happen but I won’t put up with his temper like I did for the last 30 years - yes 30 years !!!
Off to bed with you and let us know asap when you get back from the hospital. Hye ! Just realised he’s left you with the computer. Great
Nite nite.
Hugs to you
Liz xx
Good luck Chrissie for tomorrow. I remember that feeling in the pit of my stomach when waiting for results. Thinking of you tomorrow. I have been on Citalopram for a long time and it keeps my moods level. It sounds like you are gaining more strength all the time by your postings. Keep it up. Little nob has gone !!!
Rach
Hi Chrissie, I have just read your threads - and firstly good luck with your results tomorrow.
And after what you have just come through I think your gonna be fine.
Now he’s gone you can concentrate on you and your girls.
Chin up
Carol
Hi, Chrissie
Like everyone else, I’ve been following this drama. Ooooh, it’s better than Corrie and Deadenders put together!!! Seriously though, it’s taken a hell of a lot of strength for you to do what you’ve done in such a short time, and you can be justifiably proud of yourself for doing it.
Very best of luck to you today. Please post your results by about 6 o’clock if at all possible because we’re going away for just over 2 weeks and I NEED TO KNOW!!! Fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed it’s a benign lump and you can go forward happily with your life now nob ed’s gone.
Good luck to us all.
Maureen xx
Glad to hear that he went without any nastiness towards you. I would take him up on his offer to be help you out - tell him he can drop off £100 a week with the bank until he has clearered the overdraft he has run up!
Good luck with your appointment today. Let us know how it goes.