The breast cancer journey is so stressful, it helped me to write down my thoughts into this poem … Xx
You’ll be Ok … My Breast Cancer Journey by Kathy Anders
I am sorry “you have breast cancer” …
Shock, panic and despair crash me to the ground like a huge wave
I’m struggling to keep my head above the wave
But I can’t breathe, the panic is crushing my chest
Be strong they say, you will be ok they say …
The surgeon’s knife is ready, I know I will never be the same again
I like my breasts the way they are, they are part of who I am
It’s fine they say, no-one will see your scars they say …
But I will see the scars … they don’t go away
The radiotherapy machine looms like a **bleep** cloud over my head
It will be quick they say, it will be over soon they say …
Minutes pass like hours, panic tightens in my throat
Someone please stop the world so I can get off
Stay calm they say, you will be fine they say …
Every day for weeks the pattern is the same
The radiotherapy is killing the cancer
But it feels like it’s killing me
I’m so tired my body can’t seem to function
You need to complete the treatment they say …
The nights are long and lonely
I’m the only one awake, my thoughts are dark and heavy
I’m being pulled down into a deep, black hole …
There’s no-one there in the dark of the night to say you will be ok …
The daylight comes …
Your mammogram is clear, you are ok they say
Are they sure? I want to believe them …
Will it come back?
You will be fine they say …
I’m not the same person as I was before
Some days I’m a better person
I’m trying to reach out to help others drowning in the same waves
Some days I’m scared of the future, scared to dream
But I can breathe again … I am ok