Nearly two years out and not cried before.....

I’m nearly two years out and doing great. Enjoying life etc etc

My hair came back really curly and the hairdresser suggested that if I grew it then the weight would make the curls drop. It worked and I went from cork-screw curls to softer curls BUT to me it still looked liked a bad 1970’s perm and I hated it. Tried straightening it etc but just made it worse.

Yesterday I went for a trim and my hairdresser said ‘shall I try and straighten it?’ and I replied ‘go on then’ not thinking for a minute it would work.

Result? A sleek bob and me in tears. What’s that all about?

I really wasn’t bothered (or so I thought) when I lost my hair, and when it came back as cork screws I said ‘well at least I’ve got hair’. But yesterday (and still today) I just can’t stop looking in the mirror at my sleek hairdo. Nobody ‘gets it’. I just feel more ‘me’.

Mal x

Hi Maltomlin,

Was just reading your post about the curly hair and have taken heart that it can be rectified! Mine started growing back last July and all my life had been poker straight. Now it’s ridiculously curly and although not long enough to do a great deal with, I feel better knowing that it can hopefully be sorted when it gets longer! The other stupid thing is that for 51 years of my life I bemoaned the fact that I had startlingly red hair, as a child I hated it! It’s now a rather nondescript colour and after feeling that I was looking at another person in the mirror everyday I bought some dye and have dyed it red! Crazy!
Glad you love your new look!

Hi Mal
it can sometimes be the small things that can make you realise how much you’ve been through. You feel like you again and that brings back all the memories of those harrowing times when you didn’t feel like you!One of the hardest things I find difficult to cope with is not feeling like me and still longing for those days when I was healthy and well. And believe me I’ve cried and cried!!You’ve been incredibly strong for two years, you’ve earned the right to cry. And what a great reason to cry - you feel like yourself again. Enjoy! Take care
Annys x

Hi Mal,
Having read back my previous post, I think that what I should have said is, glad you love your OLD look, and that you feel more like you again! And do cry, it’s good for you!

Esme x

Hi Mal,

I so “get it”!

I wasn’t bothered about loosing my hair either, and when it came back “mousey” with a kink I used to joke that I looked like Susan Boyle (no disrespect intended). I’m on Herceptin and so it grows really slowly and 10 months on was only about 7 inches. But I was going to a posh do and went to the hairdressers for a trim and some low lights - transformation - I looked like I had a hairstyle and was like you very emotional. I even said to the hairdresser (who I had never been to before) - I look like me!

It does us good to cry and release some of our feelings.

Take care

Sue x

PS need to update my photo - this was taken last June!

I get it. i am 32 with curly short mad hair that will not be controlled and it makes me look like an old granny…its really grey too. I just want to shave it off!

Getting hair back it great but ive found that i miss my old hair and everytime i look in the mirror i remember whats happened.

Hair is bloody important


I’ve had my hair back for over 2 years now. It came back silver which I totally expected as I had started going grey in my 20s and had been getting it dyed for over 20 years.

I’ve been more than happy for it to be silver as it’s a nice shade, but all I kept getting for ages after it came back was women saying to me “oh, you will be dyeing that, won’t you?” - my own sister included! I ended up making appointments to have it dyed which I would then cancel as I would realise I was doing it to please other people, not for myself. Other people just don’t get it do they?

I’ve now decided I’m going to go to an ash blonde colour for spring, but this time I AM doing it for me as I fancy a change; also I’m trying to lose 2 stones so it would be a new look. I’ve often said to my OH “do you think I should start dyeing my hair again?” and he says I should only do it if I think it will make me more confident - it isn’t going to change who I am when I look in the mirror in the morning.

Hi Mal
I also know exactly how you feel. I am also 2 years down the line my hair also came back curly and mousy and so I put colur on it quite quickly. I am now at a short Bob and look like me again too. I got so that I coulndt look at myself in the mirror as I just saw a tubby old lady looking back. I put on quite a bit of weight during chemo and take Tamoxifen and also have an underactive thyroid! So lots against me losing weight but THIS IS THE YEAR. I am 50 in November and intend to be fit slim and healthy I joined the ladies Gym Curves this week and signed up for the race for life in June. So I feel as if things are getting back on track. I had a bad time late last year and was feeling very down but I took a temporary job over Christmas and that helped, I also had some counselling. Sometimes when all the treatments are over you feel ‘what next’ I was just going from one appointment to the next wating for more bad news,sure that it was coming.
Anyway really enjoy the new hair ‘do’, and feel proud that you have been though tough times and come out the other side. I still have a cry every now and then but find it is less and less often.
Regards to you Trudy

Thanks ladies - I knew you’d ‘get it’.

And Sue, my son told me I looked like Susan Boyle! Not any more.

However much we might pretend that it doesn’t matter, it damned well does. It’s such a confidence booster and such a lovely feeling recognising the person staring back at you in the mirror.

So take heed if you’ve still got the short, unmanageable, cork screw curls, I never thought I’d get ‘my’ hair back!

Onward and upward girls.

Mal x

Hi all

I am so jealous of you ladies with curly hair, I hoped and prayed that when I shaved mine off it would come back curly and thicker, but alas, it came back as ME and I so want to be someone else!

Mine is as straight and thin as it was before, the only difference is that it is less grey and in fact a darker brown than it was before.

Glad you feel better for having your new hairdos, I think its all part of the healing process