I was clear for 10 years but it has just returned in the same breast and I had a mx last Thursday. I must say I felt that arimadex was like a safety net and when I was taken off it, I felt a bit abandoned. But another 5years went by and I thought of myself as a bx survivor. When I was first diagnosed i thought I wouldn’t be around to see any grand kids, but I now have a 5 year old grand daughter. After reading some of the stories of the young mums in my position, I feel very lucky that my children are in their 30s and any thing now is a bonus. I take each day as it comes and I ain’t giving in this time either. My mum is a 15 year survivor and her sister 20 years, so it is good to see positive role models around me.
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Just looking at the MacMillan website - in their moving forward section they use the term “cured”. I like this, after surgery, chemo, rads and with ongoing hormone treatment I would like to think that I am cured. If it comes back I would consider it a new illness, so for now I am going to think of myself as cured.
Don’t like the term remission - to me that implies the cancer is still there, but being kept under control or at bay, whereas my cancer is all gone, therefore I am cured. (Perhaps if I say it enough I’ll start to believe it is really over and it has gone).
As for what I tell people - "I kicked cancer’s ass". A phrase a friend coined for me early on in my treatment and has kept me going, I haven’t been fighting cancer, or battling cancer, no, all the way through this I have been busy kicking cancer’s ass. Keep the positive attitudes ladies. xx
VJ, The trouble is when a cancer comes back it is not usealy a new illness , even cancers that have recurred 20 yrs later on path results can show it to be from the same origional tumour. that implies that a cancer “might” be put to sleep in some cases and for what ever reason wakes up again at some point in the future. Scans unfortnatly can only pick up abnormalities the size of our little finger nail, tiny cancer cells can sometimes lay undetected and even dormant for yrs. My own oncologist has never used the term cured and he has always been very honest with me, i am happy with that as i would be mighty angry if i did get a recurrence and noone had told me it was still possible. but i appreiciate that not everyone is the same and we all deal with things differently . Personaly i think while at present we are only able to treat the symptoms of a cancer, and not the underlying cause (as we dont know the cause) then there will always be a small possiblity of recurrence, but thats just my own view.
This is from CRUK, “As with many other types of cancer, the outcome for breast cancer depends on the type of cancer and how early or advanced it is when it is diagnosed (the stage of your cancer). Other factors that affect outlook include how abnormal the cancer cells are (the grade) and whether the cancer cells have receptors for particular treatments. If breast cancer is going to come back, it is most likely to do so within the first 2 years. With some other types of cancer, you are likely to be cured if your cancer has not come back within 5 years. Unfortunately, breast cancer can come back 10 or 20 years after you were first diagnosed. But, this is not common and the more time that passes since your diagnosis, the less likely it is that your cancer will come back.”
Many people thankfully do survive breast cancer nowadays , the survival rates and treatments are much better than they were even 30 yrs ago ,though included in those survival rates are those people who also have secondaries or reocurrences, i think the main and most important thing to remember after any BC Dx is to continue to be breast awear and to never become complacent, the hope is of course that after treatments we will all be cured, and that we will never have to deal with cancer again, but the truth is ,untill there is a cure for breast cancer there are no guarentees.
Linda x
Hi
My cancer came back after three years, into my lymph nodes which were negative at my primary Dx - at which time I had double mastectomies to make sure I didn;t have breast recurrences (huh? !!). My stress levels (in autumn 2012) were high - my husband left me two months before my recurrence was detected. I don’t think there’s any science about this. If you’re hurting in your soul/spirit cancer will come back. I wanted to die after my husband left me - the breast cancer came back to fullfil my inner wish. But now I want to kick cancer. I have seen what a b’stard my husband is/was and how he shouldn’t mess my life. There is no NED, remission etc etc., we are ourseleves, and our cancers are part of us. Some time they are active and sometimes they are not. We just have to remember that we just are who we are, and we are all magnificent, whatever…
maggyx
Linda, I think your post is spot on. You always seem to get ‘it’. Thanks, your postings are always so helpful to me.
meggy, you have had such a difficult time. I too had an erm ‘unhelpful’ - to put it midly partner (now ex).
I wish the very best for you now.
WSx
I think the relationship between stress and cancer is really interesting. Has anyone read any studies that do actually link the two? Intuitively I feel that (at least for me) the 2 are linked.
Prior to my diagnosis I was holding down a stressful job, trying to help my Mum cope with my Father who had become partially paralysed and then died (2 weeks before I found my lump), studying at the weekend plus all the normal stress of being a wife and mum. So, 12 months further down the line and due to start work in April I am wondering how can I manage all of this more effectively to limit the stress and so create a better physical and emotional future?
As I have moved from “being treated for BC” to “follow-up” I have found myself unexpectedly weepy, a bit of a martini approach to tears - anytime, any place … At the end of this month I am due to attend a 2 day residential in Bristol and hope to develop some new strategies to deal with emotions and also create the future of wellbeing that I want. Anyone else been on similar events or have any recommendations for coping strategies?
Helen
HUJ63,
i think it is really important to develop coping stratagies. How about the ‘Moving Forward’ course run by bcc? I am told they are very good. I am starting mine soon at Wythenshaw hospital.
Alternatively The Haven have many ongoing courses, and you can get to see a counsellor too, all free as far as I am aware. www.thehaven.org.uk/ - They are in Leeds/London/Herford.
Also Maggies Centre’s: www.maggiescentres.org/
I am intending to see if I can get some help as I am near Leeds.
WS
Hi Helen, its quite interesting the stress issue and cancer, and quite a few ladies it seems especialy on the forums did have a particulary stressfull period leading up to their Dxs, (including me) but most of the studies ive read (so far anyway)dont seem to find a link between stress and Breast Cancer, I think there are even one or two studies that suggest that high levels of stress can actualy lower the risk of breast cancer ,because high stress levels lowers oestrogen .
I think it is so hard when we come to the end of active treatments, it is often the worst time for many of us as it is only when the intensity of treatments and the never ending hospital appointments come to an end that we can finaly sit back and take stock of all that has happened to us ,and it is often then that it seems to all come crashing down . It does get better i promise ,and we do find a way of adjusting to the “new me” but it takes a little time to adjust, we have all been on the awfull rollercoaster that is BC and when it is time to get off that rollercoaster, well, its not so easy and not such a happy time as we expected it would be. I think the Moving Forward course run by BCC like WS has suggested might be realy helpfull to you , i havent been on one myself as i think it may be something newish, but i was given the Moving Forward Pack a few weeks back by my BCN which is packed full of usefull tips and advice and info, it even includes a DVD re exercises and BC which is great. If you havent got one you can order one for free on here in the publications section.
Keep comeing on here for lots of support , there will always be lots of other ladies at the same stage of treatment as you are , and it realy does help to not feel so alone (which you are def not) and that what you are actualy feeling is completely normal. Be kind to yourself too ,its still early days for you.
Linda 
OK ladied - forgive me if this has been mentioned before, but I found “the Spoon Theory” really helpful -= got it on here from some other peeps. But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino - But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness it helped me to be gentle with myself - and to think (some days) “I’m down to 3 spoons and I am on call tonight, so I’d better go home now…”
whatever we call ourselves, or “it”, we have to redicsover who we are and how we are in our worlds… thank goodness for each other!
Jane
Thank you Jane, I have just used the link and read about the spoon theory. It really resonates.
For me, I can see I need to become much more aware of how many spoons I have at the beginning of every day. But also, it feels to me as if on some days I have different sizes of spoons available for different activities - my concentration, ability to read, ability to talk to people -somedays I feel that I have teaspoons and other days dessert spoons and this affects what I can do as well as how long. For me, just now, not all spoons are equal but I am only a few weeks out of active treatment and settling onto Tamoxifen so expect that things will improve with time.
Helen
Hi all,
I tend to say Von 1 - Cancer 0.
Keep smiling.
Von XX