DX Jan 07 aged 28 grade 3 ductal carcinoma, no lymph nodes involved, lumpectomy, chemo, rads, Tamoxifen.
To cut a long story 2 weeks ago I had a bone scan for rib and back pain. I get the results tomorrow…
… The thing is, when I was dx I worked in my local hospital xray department ( i have since left ), I was told it was cancer by a colleague radiologist (and friend) and I have many other close friends that work in Xray.
2 of my xray friends came round for dinner the other day and didn’t mention the scan ( with all the other scans I have had in xray they would drop subtle hints such as ‘well i’m sure it’ll be alright’ ) but this time there was nothing said. They have access to my radiology reports so I guess they know the results before me. I would never ask them out right as obviously they are not qualified to talk to me about these results and I respect them to much to put them in such a posistion.
Another friend of mine from Xray who also has access to my report has just left my house after a cuppa and again she mentioned absolutely nothing about my scan when usually she would. I mentioned to her that I keep forgetting things, names, what I was doing, how to tie a bow etc etc and she had a really concerned look on her face. So now I’m thinking ’ great bone mets and brain mets '.
I am now putting two and two together and am assuming that tomorrows news is not going to be good.
I’m going to now have a soak in the bath and big big glass of Baileys or two or three or maybe even the bottle LOL!!!
The very best of luck for tomorrow. I know that you are imagining the worse senario and I really hope that you are wrong. Lets hope that it is good news.
Fingers crossed for you.
Hi Mandy,
I think a tumbler of Baileys sounds a very good idea. It’s so hard isn’t it - even if there was nothing to read into it, we would read something into it when we’re worried. There’s absolutely no use trying to fathom the truth from people’s behaviour, but we all still try. I hope you feel a little better for having got it off your chest. I know the night and evening seems long, but at least you will know tomorrow, and whatever the news, knowing is always better than being in limbo.
Big hug and, of course, praying it’ll be good news
love Jacquie xx
I wish you lots of luck for tomorrow and can understand completely what you are feeling. I would probably be thinking, why didn’t they say this/that…? I always read things into how sympathetically I am treated after a CT scan as I am sure they have seen something awful on the scan and are pitying me. Like Jacquie says when we are worried…
If its any consolation, I call the dishwasher the microwave, walk into the kitchen and wonder what I went in there for, stand in front of the fridge clutching a shoe and forget what I am about to say mid sentence. On a good day I laugh, on a bad day I have a brain tumour. I am not trying to trivialise your anxieties but just trying to reassure you that you are not alone.
Hi Mandy
I just wanted to say that i have just recently been in the same position as you. Your emotions are hightened and you read things into every situation. My bone scan results were good after reading into everyones reactions. I really had thought they must be bad!
I do hope it is the same situation for you,
Love JulieXXX
Another one wishing you good luck for tomorrow. I’ve just been through the waiting game for a CT and results…and got good news…but know that terrible fear…as we all do.