Need for control

I am sure some of you have read my posts previously and know my op is 8th August after my holiday but I am waking at silly o’clock every day and I have a need to do things this morning I have already cleaned out kitchen cupboards that didn’t really need doing. Done ironing dinner all prepped when we don’t even eat until 3 ish and now looking for more to do.i am sure it is so I can feeel in control of at least some bits of my life but am I unique in this or is anyone else experiencing the same x even prior to diagnose I recognise I do have a need to be in control but it seems to be getting worse x thanks for reading

Sometimes it’s good just to be able to post and say it. I find it kind of cathartic . My mantra in life is do what is good for you as long as you aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else. You have to manage this your way. Xxx

Thank you Patricia and yes you are right the minute I pressed post I felt a little better x and I like your mantra



You are not alone in that one.  The weeks before my op I did all my xmas present shopping, made copious amounts of meals so taht I could freeze them to make it easier for me during the period after my op as my partner has MS and is unable to do anything in the kitchen, wrote my xmas cards for goodness sake and my op was in October!! cleaned all the windows, anything that would stop me thinking about what was coming up.


It is totally natural because you are experiencing something where you are going to have to put yourself in the hands of someone else that you do not know and go through something which is totally new to you, and this is your way of coping with it.


I must add a lot of the stuff I cooked and froze was still in the freezer months later as I was able to do a lot more than I thought I would be able to very soon after my op


You just keep posting on here whenever you want that is the beauty of this lovely safe place.


Right off to put the washing out, iron, vac and then play bowls :slight_smile: :slight_smile:


Helena xxx

Thank you Helena your replies are so reassuring enjoy bowling hope the weather in your part of a Brum is as nice as here x

Hi Sue, I have always been early riser but like you after my tests/diagnosis it was worse. I only had a weeks notice before op so had to organise my work and try to train a temp plus I was cleaning house, changing beds and cooking for freezer. The day of my op I was up at 4am doing an ironing to get everything up to date and did a grocery shop like it was Christmas!! (minus the alcohol !!!) So I think you are totally normal. Sending you a hug. Xx

Sib so glad to see you on here how you doing today ? xx maybe you should have got alcohol lol get some champagne for when you go home xxx

I’m good Sue, up dressed and make up on. Arm moving easier today but I do get tired/weak very quickly (a nightmare for someone like me who never sits still). Nurses and staff are taking very good care of me and feel fortunate to have access to NHS.
On champagne note , I always have a few bottles chilling in fridge ‘for a special occasion’. Hubby said yesterday that champagne will be getting opened and we will have the mother of all parties when this is over.
Ps drain dollie bag is my best pal at moment??

Hi Jencat may get out tomorrow depending on a few things but I must rest for 10 days or so. Xxx

Hi Sue, you’re definitely not on your own with the need for control - I also find I need to feel in control of things, more so when stressed, which I think is one of the things I found hardest about the whole process because I wasn’t in control of what was going on with my own body. I found I was trying to figure everything out, trying to plan for all eventualities etc which actually ended up making me more stressed… I’ve managed to let go a bit at least.

I was also painting my bathroom ceiling (although it did need doing) a couple of days before surgery, so that ‘nesting’ instinct also seems quite common.

Hope you’re doing ok and remember resting is also a positive thing to do x

You are definitely not on your your ow I’m having the surgery on the 12th July my mum has just moved house from cardiff to barry to be near me (she’s 75 with a progressive lung disorder) I’ve been the bossiest person ever m m family have said next time anyone moves don’t involve her ??? it’s a distraction. be or do what ever you need to get threw this xxxx

Thank you ladies I really appreciate your replies and I am glad my behaviour is normal (ish) my husband keeps saying leave that I will do it. I shouted at him yesterday to let me handle this my way he has backed off but then I just feel bad for shouting at him when he is trying to cope too. Good job we been married 31 years (I am 50 got married at19) if he don’t know my moods are unpredictable by now he never will x