Hi there, thanks ladies and welcome home from hosp too Laurie!! Slendabenda I hope you don’t have to go back in a 3rd time even though you are very sensible and have mentally prepared for it!!
Actually i was remembering your post when I was getting ready to go to a & e for blood test - I packed an over night bag as had strong feeling I would use it.
Laurie sorry you were in too and hope your stay was ok. I was already doing those injections but went neutropenic anyway. It was viral but they gave me antibiotics anyway - i guess like you Slendabenda, to make sure we didn’t get an infection on top. I actually feel much better today, body & soul but am trying not to get too excited about it and am still firmly in pj’s. (pj’s all day anyone - its wrong but also so right!) .
If it’s any consolation to any taxers - my oncs readily agreed that tax is ‘tough stuff’!!
talk soon all XX
cannoliwings glad your home and feeling better… enjoy your PJ day.
when i was going through chemo last time 2 yrs ago we used to spend all day in our minging DGs (dressing gowns) and when 20 of us met up in centre parcs and later at a cottage in whitby we all took our DGs with us so we could do more vegging out… i have brushed down my minging DG ready for thursday… LOL
just had a horrible visit to the GP surgery for my pre chemo bloods… my veins are pants from chemo 2 yrs ago and took 5 attempts and 2 nurses to get bloods out of me this morning and i fainted too 
they said i should have had a hickman line in so will speak to chemo nurses on thursday.
Lulu x
haha!! I like it! was that 20 bald ladies in minging DG’s? - love it!!
Fainting however is not such a giggle. nor is 5 attempts at getting the vein. I would have been on the floor (or hiding under the bed) after 2!! are you feeling ok now or shakey and horrible? Hope they sort you out with your hicknam line.
thanks so much for posting back abut the brca1/2 thing. I have emailed my genetic counsellor with some questions. i feel like i have some time pressure on me as i am due for full node clearance in early December and surgeon said he can do mx and recon in same op. I wouldn’t have thought about doing mx yet but as it is elective i’m worried I would never actually do it!! plus even though it’s more to recover from its one less surgery if i do them together…etc etc ad infinitum…i’m looking forward to having made the decision!
Cannoli XXX
Ooh, the topic of this thread changed! I read it a few weeks ago and now it seems all current tax ladies are here for a little get-together 
Sorry to hear that some of you had a recent very tough time and even ended up in hospital! Hope you are getting better soon!
I was wondering - with the funny taste buds during tax - what is the food that still tastes ok. Is it different for everyone or do we end up eating the same food?
Today is tax3 +8days for me. I love my food, but after 3 taxes, I am hardly eating at all in the first 12days, cannot find much that is palatable. The first 2 days are fine, then I like chocolate a lot, after about 5/6 days I can’t stand most foods I usually like. Most horrible are bread, pasta, soyasauce, rice, lots of stuff.
For the last few days I coped with porridge with banana in the morning and yoghurts like mueller corners, and some fresh fruit like pineapple, mango, melon. Tonight I finally found a savoury dish - smoked haddock with white sauce, added sliced tomatoes! Yeahy.
I mean it’s not bad for my figure - back to pre-dx weight after EC added 2lbs each round, but it would be interesting to see if we dislike/like the same foods…
Rexi
What food tastes good? I’m still looking - everything tastes like crap!
I exist on onion bagels (chewy texture), bananas, yoghourt, pasta with pesto and alcohol free lager with lime! That’s when I can be bothered to eat. Coming into this stage IV malarkey, I was planning green tea, juicing, raw food, exercise… Some days I don’t get out of my jammies and peeling a satsuma is as close as I get to healthy!
Tax 2 on Friday and last Tax due 18th November. Hoping to get some taste back in time for Xmas 
Laurie x
Hi all
Have just spent ages reading through all your posts (I am on a Dexamethasone all nighter) and actually feel more positive than I have in ages about Tax. I have triple neg Grade 3 IDC with 1.5mm DCIS. However, this was caused by radiotherapy I had for Hodgkins Lymphoma 20 years ago when I was 23. I had a mastectomy in June and was told I could not have the normal chemo (FEC I think) as I had one of the drugs before for the Hodgkins. This diagnosis in May was six months after having three brain haemorrhages caused by anti-coagulants for multiple blood clots which started six months after I completed treatment for Hodgkins. Happy days!!
After the first Tax I thought I had got off lightly. For three days I felt absolutely fine and thought hey, I can handle this!! Then the oral thrush kicked in,then the terrible throat, headache etc. Day 4 and the first injection to help bone marrow. Wow. Never known bone and joint pain like it. Took to bed for 2-3 days then came through. Hair started coming out at day 14 as predicted - shaved it off on day 17 as fed up with clearing it up! Tried the wig but found it so uncomfortable that have now resorted to scarf and hat.
Now waiting for Tax 4 tomorrow. Can’t sleep because of the steroids. Find myself weeping at the drop of a hat, which is so unlike me. I never cry! My poor husband doesn’t know what to do.
People try to be positive by telling me I am half way through and I want to scream at them! You have the next three then!!! Having chemo for the second time is hard. I also feel so angry, which is hard to handle as again, it is not like me. I have found myself hiding away from my friends, because I just do not feel sociable. My family are brilliant though. I only got married for the second time last April (2010) and after two months of bliss it has all gone downhill rapdily!! Not the marriage, lol, but life has done it’s best to test us!
But reading that Tax is considered the gold standard helps. I didn’t know that. This time though, between the third and fourth I haven’t picked up as I have before. The pain in my legs tonight are unbearable and that is before the injections!
Still, I have my Movicol, Nystatin, Tramadol, Paracetamol and difflam at the ready. The worst part is that wine tastes like Acid for about ten days after!! How cruel is that.
Sorry to moan. I’m fed up with myself being so down.
Hang in there girls. We can do this. xx
Broadstairs
Well hell if you can’t come here to moan and vent, where can you go!
Tax is sneaky - like you said, you think you’re getting away with it then the bugger whacks you when you’re not expecting it.
Sorry to hear you’ve had such a tough time of it and not surprised you’ve been weepy, especially with what you’ve been through in the past.
I’m with you on the “nearly there” brigade; well meaning but sometimes I could strangle them. Steroids are the bane of my life and this time (TAX due in 2 days…) I’m going to ask my GP for some Zopiclone 7.5mg (sleeping tablets) this to see if they might help alongside the painkillers. Do you find heat helps at all? I’ve found a hot water bottle for the restless leg and foot cramp has made things a little easier.
Here’s hoping the wine tastes like nectar for you soon!
Love and hugs
Laurie x
Hi Laurie
Thank you for replying. My GP is very ant-sleeping pills, refused to give me any but gave me anti-depressants which I refused to take because I am not depressed but stressed!!! Haven’t tried heat, because I get hot then cold at the drop of a hat, windows open one minute then snuggled under a duvet the next!
Back from cycle 4 now, 2 to go, hopefully have a couple of days grace before the worst kicks in. Last night for a glass of wine tonight before everything tastes yuk.
Feel better today, one think you can say for sure with this is you have to take it one day at a time. One day everything feels like the end of the world and the next all is good. Psycho? Me? Not at all!!!
Love and hugs back at you
Liz x
Supertrooper are you ok . Miss your poatings. Two to go woopie
Liz
It really infuriates me when GP give you the anti-sleepers thing. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Meanwhile they give out antidepressants willy-nilly. (I’m a psychiatric nurse and regularly take people off AD’s who have been put on them inappropriately by GP’s…)
I have personal experience of AD’s (on them on and off for 10 years after the birth of my daughter) and while they have their place, the downside as I experienced is was emotional blunting and living life in the middle which wasn’t much fun.
Funnily enough, I managed to kick them into touch - a couple of weeks before I was diagnosed. Have coped over the last few months so figure I don’t need them. I’d push for some sleepers if you need them.
I’m definitely with you on the hot and cold thing. My poor husband is under a double duvet with a hat on 'cos I sleep with the window open!
Laurie x
i went on ADs after diagnosis i was on them during last diagnosis for about 9 months and dont plant to be on them too long but just so may issues and i like to hav emy happy face… i dont tend to sleep very well anyway and first tax and carbo tomorrow so overthinking that and with my pre-chemo dose of steroids today ill prob only get to sleep in time to get up again LOL.
i did remeber to take my second dose of steroids earlier the first few time with my last chemo cycle i took in the morning and at night but now do morning and around teatime.
why not ask your onc about the sleeping tablets… mine has prescribed me lorazepam to take on the day of chemo to relax me (and my crappy veins).
CW yup 20 baldies in PJs and minging DGs but oh what great therapy… should be available on the NHS! lol
take care everyone xx
I have sleeping tablets from GP. I told her at diagnosis that I could cope better with a Cancer Diagnosis if I had a good nights sleep, and it would also be better for my husband because I would not be worrying him either. They shoul be thinking that way for goodness sake. What if they had to go through it…
Hi everyone,
I did ask to Oncologist who gave me 3 sleeping pills because she didn’t want to undermine GP!! So when I am feeling strong I will go for another round with GP! As you said, Cackles, you are going to cope better with the diagnosis and treatment if you get a good night’s sleep! I end up getting up so I don’t disturb my husband who has to get up early for work. I have been on AD’s too, Laurie before, but really feel I don’t need them now and having weaned myself off them am reluctant to get back on that track.
Meanwhile, despite another sleepless night I am now washing living room curtains and cushions and making the most of the steroid hyperactivity!!
Have a good day all.
xxx
Hey Cackles 06.04 posting - am guessing you didn’t take them last night LOL
Lulu - good luck with the TAX tomorrow. I’m just waiting for the green light from chemo nurse so I can take my dex ready for TAX 2 tomorrow. I always take my steroids in the am as soon as I wake up then the second lot a couple of hours later which the chemo nurse said was fine. Not that it seems to have any effect on sleep…
Liz, deep breath, gloves up - round 2 Ding! Come out fighting!
I’m just off to see the community Mac nurse for the first time - at the Hospice. Bit nervous at setting foot inside the building but she sounded lovely on the phone.
Laurie x
Hello Broadstairs,
I can relate to a lot of what you say.I’m a little further ahead. Have just had my last TAX on Monday.I was expecting to feel pleased and relieved, actually I am just waiting for the next couple of weeks of rotten side effects to endure, then maybe I’ll feel better about it.
Yesterday I fell over and think I’ve broken my little toe! I think it’s due to the lack of feeling in my feet and the general effect on co-ordination. Strange to think that 2 months ago I didn’t have a clue about these side effects - just knew the word CHEMO - how much we learn in a short space of time!
My GP is prescribing me Zopiclone, 14 at a time. I use them sparingly. He hasn’t seen me since my BC diagnosis so he hasn’t a clue how I’m feeling.
Feeling very alone and down today which is not my usual pattern while on the steroids. Injections start again tomorrow - Grrr.
Hi SB
Sorry you’re having a rotten day and pants about your toe! Great the TAX is over though as you said, still a couple of weeks to get over it all but then hopefully you will be getting back to your normal self.
What’s next for you after that or is that it for treatment?
Laurie x
Day 16 post TAX #2
Hello did you miss me? I’ve been busy meeting up with friends for lunch, selling stuff on ebay and even managed to go to a house clearance auction looking for more stuff to sell.
Anyway - here I am and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Started coming down with a cold a couple of days ago and also got a stye on the inside of my lower eyelid which doesn’t do a lot for my looks! I can’t even put the uncle fester make up on as that makes my eye water.
Been to see Oncologist today - except again it was one of her team but at least it wasn’t the big greek guy who kept asking if I had problems with the “peedles” in my car when my feet were sore! This was a rather young oriental girl who was very nice. She listened to my chest and said that was clear and I just had a viral infection and to keep an eye on my temperature. She prescribed antibiotic cream for my stye eye and listened whilst I told her about the side effects I had suffered from with TAX #2. I wanted to know when the good days were going to start as I have only had a couple so far. She said it was normal to feel as tired as I do and that TAX is a very toxic drug and most ladies feel the same way. She did say that she was going to recommend that the dose be reduced for the final two.
Thursday is date night for me and OH - we managed a couple of hours out last Thursday with son and his girl friend to a psychic night at local pub that was a bit of a let down - if fact that’s probably where I got the cold from as the woman I sat next to was sniffing!! Anyway - was hoping to go out tonight before TAX #3 next Wednesday but I feel as weak as dishwater today. Walked to post box this afternoon which is only about 300 meters away and I had to lie down when I got back in.
I just want more energy!!!
How’s everyone else doing?
Thanks Laurie
Next for me will be RADS. I’m TNBC so that’ll be all. I received the CT scan/planning appt. letter today, next Thursday. I’m hoping all my treatment will be completed before Christmas, fingers crossed.
New year, new me. I don’t think I’ll get the old me back.
Hi Super, you have been busy. Sorry you’re having a bad day. Me too, haven’t been able to get out of my PJs all day - cat on lap. That’s my excuse!
'sup grrrls.
ST hope your eye gets better really soon and you can get back on the eye liner. i hate not being able to wear it what with no lashes n all.
I soooo know what you mean about the ‘300 meters - then rest’. It took me three days to leave the house - but today I left my flat had a 3 hour coffee with a friend - MAJOR ACHIEVEMENT!!
SB your poor toe. i too am wobbly and off balance. keep just avoiding falling over. feel very fat and clumsy! Hope you experience a bit of post chemo relief at some point. you deserve to. hope you are done with treatment before the hols. I am also tnbc.
Tax was not so bad to me this time - apart from the surprise weekend in hosp with neutropenic sepsis i guess. But at least i don’t feel as toxic as i have, just super duper geriatric
XX
Splenda not like you to be down . Sometimes the last chemo can be a downer I am told. We know what is coming !!! I hate those B… Injections. Pathetic really after all we have been through.
I am on 20% less tomorrow it will be interesting to see if it makes a difference. Looks like a lot of us are having dose reductions. It is a very toxic drug according to my Onc.
Yes Supertrouper we did miss you as you can see from yesterday’s postings. How dare you enjoy yourself?
Alesta no I didn’t!!! I don’t need them every night now. I will tonight though have had my steroids ready for tomorrow’s poison.
Will be wide awake like you LuLu good luck for the carbo.
Hugs
Cackles