Need some support !

Hi there I am 33 with an 8 week old baby girl and a boy aged 7. I found out last week that i had grade 2 invasive ductal breast cancer. Am due tomorrow I find out the results of the cat scan and know what I am dealing with. I am currently sitting here and worrying so much about what tomorrow will bring and if it has spread throughout my body. Crazy thoughts won’t leave me as I think of my children not having a mummy. I just can’t believe that I have cancer and am petrified of what the future holds for me. Is there anyone out there who is in a similar position to me - it would be really nice to hear from someone as although my friends and family have been amazing they don’t really understand what I am going through right now !

Bump to the top for some younger Mums to help. xxx

Hi ylimed. I am 37 with a 3 year old. The waiting stage you are at is the worst. I went through it when waiting on results from further scans (bone, ,liver, chest) and can appreciate your fears. All I can say is that at some point in the waiting roon just before the results appointment I accepted in my head that I actually DID have bc and that this wasn’t happening to someone else and decided to fight. Yes we can wish to turn the clock back etc etc etc but the reality is always the same. The docs you will meet will get a plan in place for your treatment and when that starts you will get a little bit of control back. Take someone with you to your appointment and let us know how you go.

The younger woman’s support at bcc is fantastic. Call the helpline if you need to chat.

Karen x

Hiya ylimed,

I’m really sorry to hear about your diagnosis, and especially just a short time after having your new baby. Your hormones must be all over the place, and you’ll have been ‘new baby’ exhausted even before this news came along to knock you sideways.

Although it may feel like you are alone now, the truth is that there are (unfortunately) quite a lot of us younger women with breast cancer knocking about. I was diagnosed three years ago at aged 36 and know full well the feelings you are going through now. My boys were 4&2 and I couldn’t see that I’d be around in a year for them, never mind three years. But now *touches lots of wood* I feel back to being and looking and feeling like me, my boys are 5&7, and I’ve just had my three year check up and mammogram which were fine.

The BCC site is a brilliant resource and place to chat. It was literally m life line through treatment, and I have made a few very very good friends. Peer support is crucial to helping you through this in my view, but because we are a smaller percentage of breast cancer patients, it can be very hard to cross paths with other young women at then hospitals etc. BCC run younger women’s forums in hotels around the country where experts explain various things eg. Fertility, diet, menopausal symptoms etc, and you get to meet real life women going through the same as you are. They are free (charity funded) and brilliant.

Also, in October last year, I set up a Facebook group for younger UK
based ladies who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ve been inundated with requests to join, and we have nearly 350 members now. A lot of them have very direct experience of pregnancy/new baby and breast cancer and it’s a frequent topic of conversation. We’ve had two babies born to recently diagnosed members in the last month or so, and another due soon!

You would be very very welcome to join us. We are called Younger Breast Cancer Network (UK), and have a public page on Facebook where you can send us a private message asking to join, then we can add you to the secret private chat group where only other members can see your posts rather than then whole of Facebook/google. There is a thread in the younger women’s pages of this site about it, I’ll bump it up for you.

You really are not alone, but I know it feels like it. My advice would be to take each day as it comes, concentrate on the next thing ahead rather than worrying about future steps, keep talking and cry if you want to, and accept any help for childcare/house stuff that is offered. Take care, and be kind to yourself,


The link to the Younger breast Cancer Network page

Hi Ylimed

Please feel free to call our helpliners to talk through how you are feeling on 0808 800 6000, lines are open 9-5 during the week and 10-2 Saturdays and you can talk to them about the services Vickie has kindly mentioned above, such as the BCC ‘Peer support’ or ‘One to one support’ as it now known and ‘Younger women’s forums’, you can read more about these via this link:

Take care


Hi Ylimed,
I too am in my 30s with two small children. I was diagnosed in Dec with grade 2 ductal invasive like you. The waiting game is the worst bit, when your mind is everywhere and you are thinking about the worst. You will have got your results by now and I’m really hoping it was good news. I think the more information you have, the easier it is to deal with and the less you have morbid thoughts.
In the early days I did look at my children and wonder if they would have to grow up without their mummy but I made a conscious decision not to allow myself to think like this. Instead they keep me strong, give me lots of distraction and help keep my spirits up. The whole breast cancer business has been a harsh reminder of how vulnerable we all are and how precious everything is and I think you can use this in a positive way. I tend not to stress as much with my children and try to appreciate everything and enjoy every day. Be strong.
Sending you lots of love! x